Keeping It Professional
by LinsteadFan
Summary: When Erin moves to a task force, she finally gives into her feelings for Jay. But what happens when she comes back to Intelligence? Will they be able to keep it professional or will Voight and his rules tear them apart? LINSTEAD forever!
1. Chapter 1 - The Beginning

**Hello! This is my first attempt at a FanFiction! I know where I want this story to go, but any suggestions are more than welcome. Please leave a review and let me know what you think. Flashbacks are in italics. I am from England so some spellings may be slightly different. I tried to use the American version of words when I remembered! Please forgive any grammar mistakes.**

 **Enjoy!**

 **Chapter 1 – The Beginning**

Erin Lindsay stood facing the door. She could hear the low sound of the TV from inside the apartment, but couldn't make out what was being said. She took a deep breath. What if this was the wrong move? What if this wasn't what he wanted? But, she reminded herself, he was the one who had suggested it. Well, implied it. She thought back to earlier that day. Her first case as a member of a federal task force had lead her right back to the Intelligence unit and her old team.

* * *

 _It was a hectic day and Erin was therefore surprised to find herself alone in the bullpen with her old partner, Jay Halstead. They made a few comments about the case as she walked around the front of her old desk and perched on the edge, facing Jay. Jay had made his way over to her as they'd been talking, finally stopping just in front of her._

 _He glanced quickly around, making sure they were alone, before taking another small step, a slight grin forming across his face. He was now closer to her than what would have been considered professional. As he moved in, Erin too glanced around before looking up at him from her position on the desk, her eyebrow slightly raised. They made eye contact and Erin felt her heart skip._

 _He was close enough for her to breathe in the soft scent of his aftershave, a scent that had become one of her favourites over the time they'd worked together. Jay looked down at her, his grin still in position._

 _"You know," Jay said in a low voice, his grin becoming wider. "We no longer work together. So a lot of the old rules, and regulations, they don't apply anymore."_

 _Erin felt her heart rate increase as she understood what he was implying. They'd always said "Maybe one day." Well, maybe today was one day._

 _She held his gaze, feeling a half smile forming on her mouth. They remained there, him standing, her sitting, drinking each other in. She could feel the electricity between them, as she always did when they were close. It had been that way since the beginning and she knew he felt it too._

 _They were brought back to Earth as Agent Lang came up the stairs and started talking. Their heads snapped towards him, and Erin quickly removed herself from the desk. She made her way over to Lang and led him towards the interview room, giving Jay a meaningful look over her shoulder as she exited the room._

* * *

And now here she was, standing outside Jay's apartment. The task force wasn't like she'd thought it would be, and although they'd closed the case, she wasn't happy. She missed her old unit. The memory of the day swam in her head. She took another deep breath, and knocked on the door.

She held her breath as a few seconds passed. Then the door opened, revealing her former partner. "Hey," she said in a voice huskier than usual thanks to the stress of the day.

"Hey," he replied.

"Am I interrupting anything?" she said with a small smile.

"Err," Jay motioned to the TV, "just your own press conference. D'you wanna come in?"

"Yeah," she said, stepping over the threshold into his apartment and slowly made her way to behind his couch. "So this is how you're spending your evening?" she said, gesturing to the TV. "You must really miss me." He had joined her behind the couch and she turned to look at him.

"They didn't let you do any of the talking," Jay teased, and Erin let out a short breath of amusement. "No offence to Lang, but you're a little easier on the eyes."

She shook her head slightly as she looked at the TV. "It's not really my scene. Plus, y'know, Voight's got a rule. You never get your picture in the paper." Jay looked at her. He could tell something wasn't right.

"You wanna talk about your day?" He knew Erin was a private person and didn't like to show her vulnerability. But he was worried about her.

"Not really," she replied quickly, looking into his eyes. Her breath caught in her chest as she saw the emotion in his eyes. He really cared about her.

For the second time that day, Jay moved in closer, never breaking eye contact. He felt the familiar electricity between them as he saw the longing and need in her eyes. He slowly brought a hand up to her face, gently caressing her cheek and jawline. Her eyes flicked from his eyes to his lips, before holding his gaze again. He slowly leaned in and her face tilted up towards his.

They both closed their eyes as their lips finally met in a soft, gentle kiss.

Erin thought her heart might jump out of her chest. The feeling of his lips on hers was better than she could ever have imagined, and she had imagined it more times than she cared to admit. A warmth spread over her, starting where his lips met hers and reached the very tips of her fingers and toes. She knew then, no matter what happened with the task force, as long as she had Jay, everything would be alright.

They broke apart but remained close, pausing for the briefest of seconds to look at each other. They had just crossed the invisible line that they'd drawn when they had first started working together and decided it was best to keep things professional. Erin saw the burning passion and desire that was building inside her reflected in Jay's eyes, and thought "There's no going back now".

It was her turn to move forward, as she crashed her lips against Jay's. Her hands moved to his chest as she felt him return her kiss with equal passion and urgency. His tongue gently pressed against her bottom lip and she opened her mouth, granting him entry. Their tongues danced as Jay moved his hands to her back, pulling her further into him. He pushed her against the wall of his apartment, their mouths still joined. Jay felt as if every moment in his life had been leading up to this, and knew that he never wanted to kiss anyone else. This was right.

They broke apart again, the need for oxygen was too great. Their breathing was heavy as they once again stared at each other. Then Jay grasped her face and his tongue was exploring her mouth again. He pushed her jacket off her shoulders as she tugged on the t-shirt he was wearing. Her jacket fell to the floor as his hands moved to the buttons of her shirt. She dragged his t-shirt up and they momentarily broke apart as she pulled it over his head. They resumed their passion filled kiss as Erin's shirt met her discarded jacket on the floor.

Jay's hands roamed over her body, feeling the lace of her bra against his bare chest. She put her arms around his neck and entwined her fingers in his soft hair. Their breathing was heavy and their bodies burned with desire. Jay gently lifted Erin's body and she wrapped her legs around him, their tongues still entwined. Jay slowly carried her to his bedroom.

* * *

Panting, Jay rolled off Erin and onto his back. She moved closer to him as he covered their naked bodies with a sheet. She nestled into him, her head on his chest as his arm encircled her shoulders. She traced delicate patterns across his abs as he ran his fingers up and down her arm.

"Stay with me Erin," Jay whispered into her hair.

"Always," she whispered back.

Erin felt as if her whole world was shifting. She had never felt like this about anyone else, and she was terrified. She put thoughts of the real world out of her mind as she allowed herself to just enjoy the moment of being enclosed in Jay's strong, protective arms, and slowly drifted off to sleep.

* * *

Jay's initial delight at waking up the next morning after his and Erin's night of passion turned to anguish when she revealed that she was being sent on an undercover mission with the task force and could be gone for up to six months. He tried to be supportive, telling her he was happy for her, but Erin could see the disappointment and heart break in his eyes, telling her he didn't want her to leave.

If she was being honest with herself, she didn't want to leave either.

* * *

Erin was once again standing in front of Jay's apartment door. Had it only been last night that she stood in this same position, wondering what would happen if she knocked? She felt like she'd travelled a million miles since then. She knocked.

Jay glanced at the time on his phone. 10:45pm. Who would be visiting him at this time? He rose to his feet from the couch and walked to the door. He looked through the peephole and his heart skipped a beat. What was she doing here? Jay threw the door open.

"Hey," Erin said as Jay was revealed.

"Erin, what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be on a plane to Bolivia or something?" Jay questioned, confusion clouding his delight at the sight of her. "God, she's gorgeous," he thought to himself as she made her way into his apartment. She turned to look at him.

"I quit," Erin replied.

Jay didn't know what he'd been expecting, but it wasn't that. "Wait… What?" he managed to get out.

"I quit," she repeated. "It wasn't me, too much politics and red tape. Voight's given me my old job back."

"Wow." Jay ran a hand over the back of his head and through his hair, trying to take it all in. "So we're partners again." Jay was struggling to determine how he felt. He was elated that Erin wasn't leaving anymore, and that he'd still get to see her every day, but the thought of going back to a purely professional relationship was impossible to comprehend.

"Guess so," she smiled softly, understanding the conflict in his eyes. She reached down and took one of his hands in hers, entwining their fingers. "Jay, just because I'm back, it doesn't mean I wanna quit me and you."

Jay's heart leapt. Was she saying what he thought she was saying? Erin smiled at the astonished look on Jay's face, her dimples forming chasms in her cheeks. Jay loved her dimples.

Erin focussed on Jay's face, trying to gauge his reaction. She'd put it all out there, told him what she wanted. Sure, it'd be difficult. All the old reasons for not being together were still there. They worked together. Faced life and death situations together. And then there was Voight. But after the other night with Jay, and waking up in his arms, she didn't think she could cope if they had to return to their old relationship. She'd had a taste of what it would be like to be with Jay, and she wanted more.

Jay moved towards her, their fingers still entwined, and his signature grin spread across his face. "We're really gonna do this?" he asked, and relief washed over Erin as she grinned back. He bent his head down towards her and their lips met. Their kiss quickly became passionate and their hands roamed over each other's bodies as they collapsed onto the couch.

* * *

Soft sunlight was pouring in through the thin material that covered the windows, making the room glow gold. It was the morning after Erin had quit the task force, and after round one on the couch with Jay, they'd moved into his bedroom for round two. They'd eventually fallen asleep in each other's arms, feeling happier than either of them thought possible.

"So… How're we gonna play this?" Jay posed the question as he lay in bed with Erin curled up next to him. While Jay was fully on board with starting a romantic relationship with Erin, he was curious as to how she wanted to deal with it at work.

"Huh?" Erin had been in a world of her own, enjoying the feeling of comfort that Jay's arms gave, and thinking that she never wanted this moment to end.

"I said, how d'you wanna play this?" Jay repeated, inwardly finding it adorable that she was so content at that moment that she hadn't been paying attention. "I mean… are we gonna tell Voight or…" Jay trailed off. He really didn't want to spoil the moment, but they had to talk about it at some point.

Erin sat up, thinking. Jay repositioned himself, turning to face her, and levering himself up so his weight was supported by his bent arm as his elbow sank into the pillow. He could see the conflict Erin was feeling as he studied her face. He knew Voight was the closest thing she'd ever had to a proper parent and that he'd taken care of her when nobody else would. He wasn't sure if he'd ever know the full story, but he understood that Erin wanted to make Voight proud.

"Let's… let's just keep it quiet… for now," Erin hesitated, looking at Jay. It wasn't that she was ashamed of Jay, in fact, she wanted the world to know how happy he made her. It was just that she wasn't sure if she was ready for the commitment that came with announcing their relationship. She studied his face, trying to read his expression. "I mean, we could tell Voight, if you really want to…" she offered, "I just… I don't think I'm ready yet."

Jay looked at her. The morning sun was creating a golden haze around her slight figure, but he could see the worry in her eyes. He knew that Erin wouldn't enjoy lying to Voight, but he also knew how guarded she could be with her heart. He didn't want to jeopardise things by forcing her to admit their relationship before she was ready.

"I get it," he told her. "We'll take things slow and tell people when we're ready."

A smile spread across her face as she turned so Jay's chest was pressed against her back as they lay in bed. His arms wrapped around her as she softly whispered "thank you."

"Y'know, it might be kind of exciting… sneaking around," Jay grinned into her hair. His hands started to roam over her body.

"Oh yeah?" she teased seductively, arching an eyebrow as she turned so they were both facing each other again.

"Yeah," he teased back, his grin still in place.

Before she knew what was happening Jay had flipped Erin onto her back, causing her to shriek with laughter as he began to worship her body.

* * *

Erin grinned to herself as she made her way out of the elevator and to her apartment door. It was the weekend, so she'd spent the morning with Jay after agreeing to keep quiet about their relationship. She'd eventually had to tear herself away to take a shower and get a change of clothes. She smiled at the happiness she was feeling.

She turned her key in the lock and let herself into her apartment.

"Hey," Nadia called from her position at the breakfast bar. Nadia had been living with her since getting out of rehab so she could save up for an apartment of her own.

"Hey," Erin replied, dumping her keys on the table beside the door and hanging her jacket up. "Is that coffee?" she asked, indicating the mug in Nadia's hand.

"Yup, just made a pot." Nadia had a strange look on her face and was looking at Erin through narrowed eyes.

"What?" Erin asked as she reached for the coffee pot and poured herself a cup.

"So… who's the lucky guy?" Nadia teased.

Erin choked on the sip of coffee she'd just taken. "Wha... what?" she spluttered, looking at the grin on Nadia's face.

"Oh, I don't know…" Nadia began in a sarcastic tone. "That's just two nights in a row that you haven't made it home, so… who's the lucky guy."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Erin shot back, not making eye contact.

"Oh come off it Erin, you had a smile so big when you came through the door! Somebody must have done something right last night!"

"Nadia!" Erin exclaimed, wondering how she was going to get out of this conversation.

"Is it Halstead? Please tell me it's Halstead, you guys are so made for each other," Nadia pressed on.

Erin could feel herself beginning to blush and quickly turned away so Nadia wouldn't see.

"I'm not talking about this," Erin said lightly as she made her way towards her bedroom.

"Aha! So there is something to talk about!" Nadia squealed, spinning in her bar stool so she could watch Erin cross the room.

"I didn't say that!" Erin replied, still walking away. "I'm gonna take a shower now, okay?"

"I'm gonna find out who it is!" Nadia called after her as Erin disappeared into her bedroom. Nadia grinned to herself as she raised the coffee mug to her mouth, she enjoyed teasing Erin.

* * *

Thirty minutes later, Erin emerged from her room, her hair still damp from the shower. Nadia was in the same position at the breakfast bar, her back hunched over the massive textbook she was making notes from. She looked up at the sound of Erin's footsteps and turned to face her.

"Hey, you know I was only joking earlier," Nadia began. She didn't want Erin to think she was being nosey.

"Nadia, it's fine, honestly," Erin smiled at her. She enjoyed the fact that they were good enough friends now that Nadia could tease her.

"You don't have to tell me anything if you don't want to, but I'm here if you wanna talk," Nadia offered.

"I know, thanks," Erin replied, settling herself on the couch. She'd done a lot of thinking in the shower. She wasn't sure how she was going to keep her relationship with Jay a secret from Nadia, they did live together after all. And it would be nice to have someone to talk to.

"Hey," she called over to Nadia, who had returned to her studying. "You were right, earlier. I was with a guy."

Nadia shot off her barstool and bounded over to the couch where she knelt eagerly, her legs bent under her, facing Erin.

"I knew it! Tell me everything!" she squealed, before calming down and saying "y'know, if you want to."

"There's not much to tell," Erin offered. "We're gonna take things slow and just see what happens."

"So who is he? What's he like? Do I know him?"

"Uh… yeah… you know him," Erin said coyly, staring at her hands.

"Oh my gosh it is Halstead isn't it?!" Nadia exclaimed, smiling widely at the embarrassment on Erin's face.

"Yes, alright, it's Halstead," she finally admitted, feeling the heat rising in her cheeks.

"I'm so happy for you guys!" Nadia reassured her. "Anytime you want the apartment to yourself, you just say the word and I'm outta here for the evening. Just, y'know, let me know if I need to buy earplugs or something, we do share a wall after all!"

"Shut up!" Erin laughed.

"I've been rooting for you guys all along you know," Nadia smiled.

"Would you mind keeping it quiet for now, we don't want the guys at work to know yet, especially Voight."

"No problem, my lips are sealed." She looked at Erin who was deep in thought. "So are you guys gonna be able to keep it professional at work?"

"We have to, you know Voight's rule about in-house romances, and I can't lose Jay as a partner."

She fell back into her thoughts. Sure, it'd be a struggle, but they could do this, right? It would be just like going undercover. They would keep it professional at work, and when they were sure they could do it, they'd come clean to Voight. And he'd accept that they were together and let them remain as partners once he realised that their relationship didn't affect the job.

But something told her it might not be that easy. Voight would not be happy when he found out they'd kept it from him, and Erin shuddered at the thought of what he might do to Jay when he found out he hadn't "kept it in his pants."


	2. Chapter 2 - Secret Girlfriend

**Here's is the second instalment of this Linstead FanFiction! Thank you so much for all the follows/favourites from the first chapter - it's so much more than I expected! Thank you as well for the lovely reviews, they're very inspiring so please keep them coming!**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Chapter 2 – Secret Girlfriend**

Erin and Jay had been secretly dating for almost four months now. So far they had been able to successfully hide their relationship from their co-workers, although there had been a couple of close calls.

Ruzek had almost caught them holding hands in the break room one time, and Olinsky had appeared out of nowhere when they thought they were alone in the bullpen a few weeks ago. Most recently, they had almost been caught by Atwater as he came into the locker room. Seconds before, they had been having a furious make out session, thinking everyone else had gone home for the day.

Nadia had been a great help too, covering for them a number of times when a few awkward situations came up. The last time had been when Mouse had noticed that Jay wasn't hanging out as often as he used to, and chose to voice his observations in front of the whole unit during a quiet day.

 _"So Jay, you up for Molly's later?" Antonio called across the bullpen, looking up from his paperwork. "Gabby said the guys from the Firehouse are gonna be there."_

 _"Err…" Jay lifted his head, sneaking a quick glance at Erin before looking at Antonio. Erin briefly looked up from her paperwork to meet his eyes before dropping her head again. She and Jay had planned a romantic date night for that evening. "Sorry guys, I'm gonna have to give it a miss tonight."_

 _"Again?" questioned Mouse from his desk in the corner. "Seriously Jay, you've been MIA for the past few months. What's up with you?"_

 _"Yeah, you got a secret girlfriend or something?" joked Ruzek._

 _Nadia looked up from her desk to catch the panicked glances Erin and Jay exchanged before coming to their rescue._

 _"Sorry guys, it's my fault. Jay's been helping me study for the Police Academy entrance exam and we have another study session tonight."_

 _The guys accepted it without question and went back to their paperwork. Erin looked over at Nadia and caught her eye. She silently mouthed the word "thank you" to her, and Nadia shrugged, telling her it was nothing. Erin made a mental note to buy Nadia the biggest box of her favourite chocolates the next time she was out._

Other than that, Jay and Erin thought they had done pretty well at covering their tracks. They spent most nights at one of their apartments. They mostly just hung out, watching movies or sports and sharing takeout food. Those were Erin's favourite nights. The one's where she could curl up on the couch next to Jay with her head on his chest and his arm around her. She was happier than she'd ever been in her life when she was with Jay.

They occasionally went out for dinner, but didn't want to risk being seen by someone they knew, so always chose a restaurant on the other side of town. They never felt fully relaxed when they were out in public, so usually kept it short. That seemed to work well for both of them anyway as they could hardly keep their hands off each other when they were alone. Most of their date nights ended by them stumbling into one of their apartments and not always making it to the bedroom.

The holidays had come and gone and Erin and Jay had managed to successfully negotiate their way through them. They'd been able to spend Thanksgiving together, although they were also accompanied by most of the Intelligence unit and Firehouse 51, as well as numerous family members. Since the firefighters weren't on shift over Thanksgiving, they'd decided to have a big celebration at Molly's. Jay and Erin managed to keep their distance for most of the day, sneaking secret glances whenever they could, and had their own celebration later that night at Jay's apartment.

They had wanted to spend Christmas together, but Erin was invited to Voight's house for dinner with him, Justin, Olive and their new baby. Erin also took Nadia as she had nowhere else to go, and Voight seemed to like her. He said she reminded him of a young Erin. Jay, on the other hand, had been invited to the Corson's. Erin, while initially suspicious, had her mind put at rest by Jay who informed her that his high school sweetheart ex, Allie, would not be joining them. They compromised, spending Christmas Eve at Erin's apartment with Nadia, and waking up together on Christmas morning, before going to their respective dinners.

But now Valentine's Day was approaching and Jay wanted to do something special for Erin. Things had been going really well for them, and he wanted to show her how much she meant to him. He knew Erin was still struggling with letting him see her vulnerable side, but he hoped one day, she'd be ready to let him all the way in.

Jay was beginning to realise, with every second he spent with Erin, he was falling deeper and deeper in love with her. He loved everything about her, from the way she wrinkled her nose when she laughed, to her bedhead when she woke up each morning.

Erin was feeling it too. Sure, she'd dated before, and according to Voight, had left a string of broken hearts behind her since high school. But she'd never felt like this about any of them.

Usually, she enjoyed spending time with whoever she was dating, but also liked time to herself. She needed her own space. Not with Jay though. Whenever, she was with him she thought her heart would burst, and when they were apart, she couldn't wait till they were together again.

They'd come close to telling Voight a few times, especially after he pardoned Burgess and Ruzek when their relationship was exposed. Then again, Burgess wasn't in Intelligence so she and Ruzek weren't partners. Voight was also warming to Jay. When Jay first joined the unit, Voight had made it clear that Jay was not his favourite person, especially when he saw the attraction between him and Erin.

But recently, after a run of successful busts, Voight had even gone so far as to tell Jay he was a valuable member of the team. Voight had also noticed Erin's constant happiness, and had asked her a number of times what was going on.

 _Erin was standing at the kitchen sink in Voight's house, helping to wash the dishes after Sunday dinner. She was reminiscing about earlier that morning. Jay had stayed over and they had enjoyed a lazy start to the day, just lying in bed, talking, and enjoying each other's company._

 _"What's that smile for kid?"_

 _Voight had entered the kitchen and was watching Erin absentmindedly wash a dinner plate with a huge grin across her face._

 _"What?" she asked, turning to look at him._

 _"The smile that hasn't left your face since you got here, what's it for?"_

 _"Can't I just enjoy spending time with you?" she asked innocently. "And since when did a person need a reason to smile?"_

 _She grabbed a dish towel and began to dry what she'd just washed._

 _"You've just been really upbeat lately," Voight continued in his gravelly voice. "It's nice, but I can't help but wonder what's going on."_

 _"Nothing's going on," Erin replied, stalling for time._

 _Voight continued to look at her, leaning on the counter, arms crossed._

 _"I'm just really proud of Nadia is all. She's come so far and she's doing really well with her studying."_

 _It wasn't a lie, she was proud of Nadia. But it wasn't the reason for the smile Voight had asked about._

 _Voight wasn't convinced but decided to drop the subject. He was sure Erin's mood change had little to do with Nadia and a lot to do with a guy. But Erin would tell him when she was ready, and until then, he wasn't going to push it._

 _"It's all down to you, kid." Voight told her. "Nadia wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you."_

 _"Just following your example," Erin shrugged. "All some people need is a chance. You gave me_

 _one."_

 _"Yeah, and it was about the best thing I ever did. Camille would be proud of you kid," he smiled at Erin._

 _"Look at you getting all sentimental," Erin teased, smiling back._

 _"Yeah well, I love you kid, never forget that."_

After that conversation, Erin felt even worse lying to Voight. She wanted to tell him the real reason for her happiness so badly, but the thought of Voight's disappointment in her ignoring his direct orders stopped her every time. Plus the threat that Voight might kick Jay out of Intelligence, or worse, if he found out. Things had been going so well with Jay and she just didn't want to do anything that might make that change.

* * *

It was a snowy mid-January morning and Erin was sitting in the driver's seat of her car, her eyes focussed on a house across the street. The passenger door opened and a blast of frozen air hit Erin before her partner slid into the car and slammed the door shut.

"Any movement?" Jay asked as he handed Erin one of the steaming cups of coffee he was holding.

"Nothing," she sighed, wrapping her hands around the cup, trying to warm herself up.

"Y'know, I've lived in Chicago my whole life but I still can't deal with this weather," she said as she suppressed a shiver.

"Is this Erin Lindsay admitting weakness?" Jay gasped in mock astonishment.

"It's not weakness!" she defended, punching him lightly on the arm. "It's a perfectly natural response to the cold. I swear, you're not even human." She was referring to Jay's ability to withstand even the harshest temperatures Chicago threw at them.

"It's my innate toughness," he boasted to Erin, playfully flexing his arm muscles.

Erin rolled her eyes. "Keep telling yourself that, buddy," she said as she patted him on the chest.

"You can't deny my toughness Erin!" Jay continued in his playful tone.

"Oh yeah, where was this supposed toughness when we were watching Titanic the other night?"

"Hey! Jack made the ultimate sacrifice so the love of his life could live! You're telling me you didn't get choked up the first time you saw it?" Jay shot back.

"I'm just saying it was more stupid than noble, they could've easily both fitted on that door!" she grinned.

Jay rolled his eyes at her and they both turned their attention back to the house they were supposed to be watching.

After a few moments, Jay spoke in a slightly cautious tone. "So, you've lived here you're whole life, huh?"

Jay knew Erin had had an unstable childhood and had been forced to grow up too fast thanks to her junkie mother and criminal father. But other than that, he knew very little about her early life.

"Mmhm," Erin nodded, not wanting to go into detail.

"So, where abouts in the city did you grow up?" Jay continued to press her, determined not to let her shut him out as she had done so many times before.

"You know where Voight lives," she replied, turning her head towards him before quickly snapping her eyes back to the house.

"I know, but I meant before that." Jay watched her closely.

"Jay I told you before, I don't like talking about my childhood," Erin said, not looking at him.

"I know Erin." Jay's tone was impatient before he added, under his breath "believe me I know."

"And what's that supposed to mean?" Erin shot back, hearing Jay's mumble and anger bubbling inside her.

"It just means that whenever your past comes up in conversation, you shut down or change the subject. I don't need your life story, Erin, I'm just asking for a few details," Jay retorted. He desperately wanted Erin to let her barriers down and trust him. He understood it was difficult for her, he just wanted to know why.

"I don't want to talk about this anymore Jay," Erin said shortly, still looking at the house.

"I'm not asking for a lot Erin," Jay tried again.

"No, Jay, you are!" Erin's voice rose with anger as she began to lose patience. "I don't understand why we always need to discuss my childhood, and what even gives you the right to ask about it?!"

"What gives me the right?" Jay retorted, his own anger matching hers. "Oh, I don't know! Maybe the fact that we're partners and I'm your boyfriend!"

"Oh, so just because we're together means you automatically get to know everything about my past?!"

"No, but it does mean that it would be nice to know a few details about who I'm dating!"

They sat in silence as they stared at the house, anger and tension filling the car.

Jay was the first to speak. "Erin, I…"

"Just drop it Jay," she interrupted him. Her tone indicated that this conversation was over. Jay obliged, knowing he was fighting a losing battle at this point. It was one of the things he loved about her, but Erin's stubbornness was a real pain in the ass sometimes.

"We have movement," Jay said quickly as the door to the house they were watching opened.

Erin raised her camera and snapped pictures of the man that had emerged.

"I'll call it in to Voight," Jay told her.

They spent the rest of the day not discussing their argument. Although they remained perfectly polite to each other, the tension between them was at an all-time high, and the rest of the unit couldn't help but notice.

When Voight finally told them all to go home for the day, Erin shot up from behind her desk and left without a word to any of them.

"Man, you must have done something to seriously piss her off," Ruzek said, swivelling in his chair to address Jay.

"Yeah, what did you do? Try to drive again?" Atwater joked as the rest of the unit began to pack up their desks.

"Something like that," Jay muttered under his breath, not cracking a smile.

* * *

Erin's apartment was bathed in darkness as she lay on the couch, a blanket wrapped round her shoulders, staring at the blank TV screen. Nadia was having a late study session with Platt, so Erin had been on her own for the last few hours and hadn't bothered to turn on any lamps. She played the events of the day over in her head.

It had been her and Jay's first proper argument as a couple. Sure, they'd had disagreements before, but it always over silly things, like her never using a coaster or him always leaving the toilet seat up. This was the first serious argument they'd had.

Erin hated the way she had left things with Jay and immediately regretted storming out of the office. But more than anything, she missed him. She missed the flirtatious banter they usually shared while working on a case, and she missed him turning up at her apartment with takeout, as he typically did when Nadia was out late.

Erin was jolted out of her thoughts as a loud knocking filled the dark apartment. She sat up and turned a lamp on, wondering if Nadia had forgotten her keys again.

She shuffled over to the door, the blanket still wrapped around her shoulders, and pulled it open.

Jay stood before her, holding up a bag of Chinese food and a six pack of beers.

"Peace offering?" he said, a nervous grin on his face.

Erin hesitated briefly before stepping aside and letting him enter the apartment.

Jay set the food and beers on the breakfast bar and turned to look at her as she shut the door.

"Erin, look, I'm sorry about earlier. I should've just dropped it." Jay watched as she approached, stopping just in front of him.

"No, Jay, I'm sorry. I just…" she hesitated. "It's just hard, to talk about that stuff, y'know?"

"I get Erin, it's tough, but I just wanted to know more about you," Jay said, gently reaching out to hold both her hands in his.

"I know, and I know you were only asking because you care. But there's things in my past, Jay…" she trailed off and Jay squeezed her hands. "I've done things I'm not proud of. I don't want you to look at me differently," she continued, her voice low and her eyes on her feet.

"Erin, whatever you had to do to survive, I'm not going to judge you."

"You promise?" She looked up at him, tears glistening in her eyes.

"I promise," Jay assured her, pulling her to him as he wrapped his arms around her slender body. They stood in silence for a few minutes.

"Okay… I'll try to be more open." Her voice was barely more than a whisper.

She pulled back to look up at him. "And I'm sorry for storming out earlier. The guys must've thought I was being such a bitch."

"Nah," Jay assured her. "I just told them it was your time of the month," he said, grinning mischievously at her.

"You did not!" Erin exclaimed hitting him in the chest with both her hands.

"You know I didn't," he said softly, pulling her to him again.

He placed a delicate kiss on her lips and she melted into him. He gently probed her bottom lip with his tongue and she opened her mouth, granting him access. He pulled his lips away from hers and began to nuzzle her shoulder, pulling off the blanket she was still wearing. Erin moaned as he placed open mouthed kisses on her delicate skin. Jay suddenly scooped her up and she wrapped her arms around his neck. She giggled as he carried her into the bedroom, the Chinese food on the counter long forgotten.


	3. Chapter 3 - Girls' Night Out

**Thank you thank you thank you to everybody who reviewed the last chapter - it's so much more than I expected! This is a bit of a fun chapter and I had a great time writing it, so I hope you enjoy reading it :)**

 **Please remember to review with any feedback, it's really inspiring!**

 **Chapter 3 – Girls Night Out**

"Hey babe," Jay called from the kitchen to Erin as she emerged from her bedroom.

"Jay, why didn't you wake me? We're gonna be late now," she called back, rubbing a towel through her damp hair. It was Friday morning and Jay had stayed over last night.

"You looked so peaceful," he grinned back at her. "And we're not going to be late, see, I've already made breakfast," he said as he divided a stack of pancakes onto two plates.

"Yeah well, you better just hope we don't get stuck in traffic," she said as she sat down at the kitchen table.

"Even if we do, with your driving we'll still be there early," he teased back as he set a plate of pancakes in front of her and gave her a quick kiss.

She pulled a face at him and started eating. "Where's Nadia?" she asked, noticing her absence.

"She went to the library, said she wanted to get a couple hours of studying in before work," Jay informed her.

Erin nodded, her mouth full of pancakes.

"So, you excited for tonight?" he asked as he leaned across the table to wipe off a blob of syrup that had landed on her chin.

"Do I have to go?" she moaned and her shoulders sagged.

"Yes!" Jay smiled at her. "It'll be fun and it'll be good for you."

"But I'd rather stay in with you," she said seductively as she ran her bare foot up his leg under the table.

"We can stay in tomorrow night, but tonight you're going out with the girls. Besides, I'm having poker night with the guys over at Ruzek's," Jay asserted, although his insistence was fading the further up her foot travelled.

Erin moaned again. Last week, Adam had suggested that she and Kim got to know each other better. Before she knew what was happening she was being dragged into a girls night out and Antonio was saying he'd ask Gabby if she was free too. It turned out Gabby was free and she was also bringing Sylvie Brett with her. Kim had asked Nadia to join them, but she'd insisted she needed to study.

So the plan had been made. They would meet at Molly's and have a few drinks before heading to a club that Kim liked. Erin had never been a 'girl's girl', much preferring the company of guys, and she'd never enjoyed clubbing. She just didn't see the fun in hundreds of sweaty bodies grinding against each other as deafening music played. But it was too late now to back out and Erin just hoped she could drink enough at Molly's get her through the clubbing.

* * *

Erin stood outside of Molly's, psyching herself up before she entered. The late January temperature got the better of her and she pulled the door open. She walked into the bar, welcoming the wave of warmth that hit her. She quickly spotted Kim, Gabby and Sylvie sitting at a table in the corner, waving her over.

"Hey guys," she greeted them, draping her coat over the back of her chair.

"Check you out, hot stuff!" Gabby exclaimed as she saw Erin's outfit.

Erin rolled her eyes. She had had no idea what to wear, so settled on a simple black cocktail dress that she at least felt comfortable in. She'd paired it with a pair of plain black heels that she was confident she'd be able to walk in after a few drinks. Her hair was wavy and fell just over her shoulders, and she'd kept her makeup minimal, not liking to wear too much. She knew she looked good because Jay's tongue had practically fallen out of his mouth when she emerged from her bedroom.

"Shots!" Kim cried and ran to the bar.

Two and a half hours later and Erin had to admit she was enjoying herself, although that probably had something to do with the multiple tequila shots.

"Wait wait, so you're saying Ruzek actually likes that!?" snorted Gabby.

"Only when he's feeling really kinky!" revealed Kim as Sylvie collapsed into a heap of giggles.

"I'm never gonna be able to look at Ruzek the same again!" Erin choked through her own laughter.

"Maybe I should suggest that to Casey," Gabby wondered aloud and the four of them howled with renewed laughter.

"One more round of shots and then we hit the club?" suggested Kim, slurring her words slightly. They all nodded.

"This one's on me guys," Erin said as she headed for the bar.

She made her way through the tables, definitely feeling the effects of the alcohol.

"Four more shots please Herrmann," she said as the firefighter served her.

"You girls look like you're having fun," Herrmann said, reaching for the shot glasses.

"Yeah, surprisingly," she agreed.

Just then, a tall figure came out of nowhere and leaned on the bar next to Erin. She heard him say to Herrmann "I'll get those," indicating the shots he was pouring.

Erin turned her head towards him. He was about six feet tall with dark brown hair, and Erin could see his rippling muscles beneath the button down shirt he was wearing. He was very good looking, with dark eyes and a strong jawline that was lightly covered in stubble.

"Oh, thank you," she mumbled, slightly taken aback.

"Anything for a beautiful woman," he teased, his tone flirtatious.

Shocked by his openness, she managed to say "I should get back to my friends," as she scooped up the shots. "Thanks again."

"No problem," he replied. "I'm Dean by the way."

"Erin," she said backing away.

"It was nice to meet you Erin," he called after her.

Erin reached the table and handed the shots out.

"Who's the hunk?' demanded Sylvie, gazing towards the bar.

"Oh, just some guy who offered to pay for the drinks," Erin replied.

"Erin, he is totally checking you out!" squealed Kim.

"What? No he's not," Erin scoffed.

"Yes he is!"

Erin turned to look back at the bar and sure enough, Dean was staring back at her. She turned away and sat down.

"You should totally go for it Erin," Gabby said as they downed their shots.

"I don't think so," Erin replied, putting her shot glass on the table.

"Why not?" Kim asked. "He's hot stuff!"

"Kim! You have a boyfriend!" Erin exclaimed.

"What, just because I have a boyfriend means I can't admire other men?!" Kim shot back and they all laughed. "But you are a single pringle Erin Lindsay! What's stopping you?"

"I… uh," Erin stammered, not knowing what to say.

"Unless you're not single!?" Sylvie interjected, correctly interpreting Erin's feeble objections.

"Erin Lindsay do you have a secret boyfriend!?" demanded Gabby and Erin felt them all staring at her.

"What, no!" she insisted, but she could feel her face getting redder by the second and the alcohol was dramatically reducing her lying capability.

"She does!" Kim cried and the girls squealed with delight.

They continued to press her for details and Erin could deny it no longer.

"Fine, guys, alright, I am seeing someone," she said, holding her hands up. "But we're not ready to tell people yet so can we just drop it please?"

"Alright," said Kim, sensing Erin had reached her limit with this conversation. "But when you are ready to tell, we want all the juicy details!"

Erin rolled her eyes.

"In the meantime, I wouldn't say no to a piece of hot stuff," Sylvie slurred, her eyes back on the bar.

"Well I definitely need another drink after that revelation," Gabby announced. "One more round?"

"Fine, but this really is the last one this time," Kim insisted. They'd been saying "one more round" for the last hour.

Gabby returned with the shots a few minutes later and they quickly downed them.

"Alright, let's hit the club!" cried Kim, getting to her feet.

"I have a better idea," interjected Erin, the tequila definitely doing the talking.

* * *

Twenty minutes later, the four girls were stumbling out of a cab onto the sidewalk.

"C'mon, up here," called Kim, already halfway up a set of steps. The other three followed, giggling as they staggered their way up. They pushed open the doors at the top and swerved their way inside. "This way," Kim whispered loudly, gesturing to the others. They reached the end of a corridor and Kim knocked on a door as they all held their breath, trying not to laugh.

The door opened revealing Adam Ruzek holding a cigar.

"Surprise!" they cried before bursting into laughter.

"Kim, baby, what are you doing here? You know this is poker night, no chicks allowed."

"Baby!" Kim cried as she staggered over the threshold and grabbed hold of Adam for support. "We just wanted to see you all, is that so bad?" she pouted as she looked up at Adam.

The other three made their way into the apartment and Erin looked at the other guests. Sitting around the poker table was Antonio Dawson, Kevin Atwater, Jay Halstead, Matt Casey, Joe Cruz, and Mouch. Each of them had a cigar in his hand and a pile of poker chips in front of him.

Gabby had positioned herself on Matt's lap while Sylvie had draped her arms over Cruz's shoulders, leaning on his back. Adam was still supporting Kim as they made their way over to the table. Erin met Jay's eyes and wanted nothing more than to throw herself into his arms. She resisted the temptation and instead pulled herself up onto one of Ruzek's kitchen counters, where she sat.

"So, you girls having a good night?" enquired Antonio. The guys suppressed grins. The answer was obvious from the girls' slurred speech and staggering footsteps.

"You betcha!" Erin shot back, winking.

"Lindsay, are you drunk!?" Atwater teased.

"As a skunk," she replied, and the girls fell into fits of laughter.

The guys all exchanged shocked grins. Erin was usually better at holding her alcohol than any of them, so most of them had never seen her properly drunk before. Not even after a late night a Molly's.

"Hey guys, I think it's best if I get this one home," Matt said, indicating Gabby who was draped over him.

"Yeah, me too," Cruz said as he got to his feet, supporting Sylvie as she swayed dangerously.

"Hey Erin, you need a ride home?" Antonio offered, looking round at her.

"I've got her," Jay said quickly as he made his way over to where she sat on the counter.

"My hero," she said as Jay helped her down, keeping a supportive arm around her waist and steered her towards the door. "Kim, thanks for a great night," Erin called as they made their exit. At the last second, Kim reached them and pulled Erin into a tight hug.

"You too!" she cried as she squeezed Erin. Then she lowered her voice and said, just loud enough for Jay to hear, "don't worry, I won't say a thing about your secret boyfriend."

* * *

Erin couldn't keep her hands to herself on the car ride back to Jay's apartment. He didn't want to take Erin back to her own apartment in case they disturbed Nadia.

"So I think it's safe to say that girl's night was a success then?" Jay said as Erin ran her fingers over the back of his neck.

Erin giggled and said "I don't know what I was so worried about! I had a great time!"

"I can see that," smiled Jay. He was happy Erin had had a good time, she deserved to cut loose every once in a while.

When they reached Jay's building, he slipped an arm around Erin's waist and supported her up to his apartment. As he unlocked the door he said "so, the girls know about your secret boyfriend, huh?"

She groaned as he pushed the door shut and half carried her to his bedroom.

"They got it out of me Jay, I'm sorry! But I swear I didn't tell them it was you!" Jay laid her on the bed and began to slip her shoes off. She raised her head from the pillow to look at him. "Please don't be mad."

"I'm not mad," he said gently, and she laid her head back down.

"Good," she breathed. "Because I don't think I could stand it if you were mad at me," she said softly into the pillow.

Jay looked over to her. Erin's eyes had closed and her breathing was deep and steady.

Jay pulled the covers over her and gently swept a stray wave of hair from her face. He placed a soft kiss on her forehead and whispered "I could never be mad at you, Erin Lindsay," before he got ready for bed and crawled in beside her.


	4. Chapter 4 - Valentine's Day

**Hello! Thank you so much to everybody who has left a review, I've had so many more than I was expecting :) It's really encouraging to know people are enjoying this story.**

 **Here's the next chapter, I hope you enjoy it. There's a bit of drama to come in the chapter after this, so enjoy the calm before the storm!**

* * *

 **Chapter 4 – Valentine's Day**

Erin stirred in bed. Her eyes opened wide before she slammed them shut again, assaulted by the bright sunlight pouring through the window.

"Ugh…" she groaned and rolled onto her back, flinging an arm over her sensitive eyes.

"Morning," Jay said from the edge of the bed where he was pulling on socks. "How're you feeling?"

Erin removed her arm and squinted at him. "Like I drank enough tequila to fill Lake Michigan," she whimpered, her voice even huskier than usual.

Jay smiled at her before heading out of the room. He returned a minute later with a glass of water and an asprin in his hand. He walked over to Erin's side of the bed and plopped the asprin into the water before handing her the glass. She raised herself up slightly, her head pounding, and drank.

"Thanks," she whispered. Once she'd finished, she motioned to the room and said "so how'd I end up here?"

Jay smiled at her. "Well, the four of you turned up at Ruzek's apartment and crashed our poker night."

"Ugh," she groaned again as memories from the previous night came back into focus. "Yeah, I think that was my idea," she said, cringing. "Please tell me I didn't embarrass myself in front of the guys?"

"Other than telling Kev you were drunk as a skunk, I think you're good," Jay grinned at her.

Erin moaned. More memories were coming back to her and she sat up quickly, immediately regretting it as her head spun and a wave of nausea hit her.

"Jay, I think the girls know I have a boyfriend," she grimaced.

"Yeah, Kim said something along those lines," he grinned again, taking in her panicked expression. "Don't worry, the guys didn't hear."

"I'll talk to her," Erin reassured him. "Make sure she doesn't say anything."

"Okay, but it can wait," Jay told her. "Right now, I'm going to run you a nice warm bath and you're going to soak for as long as you want. Then we're gonna curl up on the couch and watch movies for the rest of the day. Sound good?"

"Sounds perfect," she smiled, tilting her head up for a kiss. Jay leaned down and gave her a quick peck before disappearing into the bathroom.

* * *

It was Monday morning. Erin had spent the rest of the weekend at Jay's, curled up on his couch and swearing she was never drinking again.

She and Jay made their way up the icy steps of the 21st district, coats wrapped tightly around them to protect from the cold. They made their way inside and were heading for the stairs as they heard Sergeant Platt's voice.

"Detective Lindsay," Platt called to them.

Erin changed direction and headed to the front desk while Jay continued upstairs.

"Good morning Detective," Platt said to her. "How are you today?"

"Good," Erin smiled at her, wondering how much Mouch had revealed about the other night.

"I just need your signature on a few documents here," Platt said, handing Erin a stack of papers.

"Sure," Erin said as she picked up a pen.

"Burgess! Get over here!" Platt called across the room at Kim, who had just rounded the corner with her partner, Sean Roman.

Kim approached the desk looking slightly hesitant. Whatever Platt wanted, it probably wasn't good.

"So, have a good night last Friday?" Platt enquired.

Kim glanced at Erin, a shocked expression on her face, before replying "Um, yes, thank you Sergeant."

"So am I right in thinking you were the brains behind this operation?"

Kim looked at Platt, unsure of where this conversation was going. "Err, well, Adam suggested it, but yeah, I guess I did most of the organising," she spluttered, wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible.

"So I'll just assume my invite got lost in the mail, shall I?" Platt stared down at her.

"Oh… I… um… I didn't realise you…" began Kim, grasping what Platt was getting at.

"Yeah, well, you'll know for next time," Platt told her, handing her a set of squad car keys. "Now take Roman and beat it, you're clogging up the front desk."

Kim scurried back to Roman as Erin finished signing the paperwork and handed it back to Platt. She quickly hurried after the officers, calling, "Hey Kim, you got a second?"

Kim turned and said, "Sure," following Erin to a quiet corner.

"Hey, um, I'd really appreciate it if you didn't say anything about what you found out the other night," Erin began.

Kim interrupted her, saying, "Of course, Erin, don't worry about it."

"Thanks Kim, I just don't want the guys busting my balls about this yet."

"I get it," Kim reassured her, giving her a quick smile. "But I'm here if you ever want to talk."

Erin smiled back and said, "Now get out of here before Platt sees you hanging around."

Kim rolled her eyes and said to Erin, "You have no idea how lucky you are to be her favourite!"

* * *

While Erin was downstairs talking to Platt, Jay had made his way upstairs and entered the bullpen. He glanced around. Olinksy was already at his desk and Antonio was starting up his computer. He walked over to Nadia's desk where she was rearranging a few pieces of paper.

"Hey," he said quietly. "I need your help with something." She glanced up to see him incline his head towards the break room.

She nodded and got up, following him across the room.

"So, what's up?" she asked when they were alone.

"Okay, so, Valentine's Day is coming up and I want to do something special for Erin," Jay said, keeping his voice low.

"Oh that's so adorable," Nadia fussed. "But what can I do?"

"Well, the 14th is a Saturday this year so I was thinking of taking her away for the weekend." Jay revealed as Nadia grinned with excitement. "Can you just pack her an overnight bag and try to make sure she doesn't suspect anything?"

"Sure thing," Nadia said, clapping him on the arm.

"We'll discuss the details later," Jay told her quickly as he saw Erin climbing the stairs.

* * *

Jay had it all planned. He was taking Erin to his family's cabin in Wisconsin for Valentine's Day, and with Nadia's help, he was sure Erin didn't suspect a thing. He had told Erin he was taking her out for dinner in the evening, so Nadia had made sure Erin wasn't busy during the day by asking for her help studying. She had packed Erin an overnight bag, making sure to pack things she wouldn't miss, and had sneaked it to Jay earlier in the week. It was now time for Jay to put the second part of his plan into action.

"Babe, what are you doing here? I thought we weren't going out till later?" Erin questioned when she opened her apartment door to find Jay standing there.

"Well I decided to start our Valentine's Day celebrations a little earlier than planned," Jay said, grinning at her and placing a delicate kiss on her lips.

"I wish I could, but I promised Nadia I'd help her study," she said, gesturing to where Nadia sat at the kitchen table.

"Erin, go! It's fine!" Nadia called to her.

"You knew about this?" Erin said, correctly interpreting Nadia's smirk.

"Go have fun!" Nadia insisted, waving them out the door.

* * *

"Jay, where are going?" Erin questioned from the passenger seat of the car. She wasn't used to riding shotgun. They had been driving for just over 30 minutes, and had left the city behind them.

"You'll see," Jay teased, refusing to disclose their destination.

A little while later, all was revealed to Erin as they approached a large sign that read "Welcome to Wisconsin".

"Wisconsin?" she said, turning in her seat to face Jay.

"Trust me Erin, you're going to love it," Jay reassured her, knowing she wasn't fully on board with the idea.

* * *

Hours later, Jay directed the car down a small dirt track in the semi-darkness. Erin looked at him.

"Are you sure you know where you're going?" she teased him.

"Of course I do," Jay grinned back.

They rounded a corner and Erin's eyes fell upon a luxury log cabin surrounded by trees. She could see a lake in the background and mountains far in the distance.

"Jay, it's gorgeous," she breathed.

"I told you you'd love it," he whispered back, seeing the delight twinkling in her eyes.

"When you said log cabin, this is not what I pictured," she smiled at him, leaning in for a kiss.

* * *

A little while later, Jay was in the kitchen preparing dinner. He had insisted Erin take a long bath while he got everything ready for their evening. He'd set a roaring fire in the living room fireplace which was throwing dancing light around the open plan cabin.

The table was laid with romantic candles and Jay had already changed into a blue button down shirt which he'd tucked into his dress pants. He'd left his top button open, choosing to go tieless for a more casual look. He was just putting the finishing touches on dinner as Erin emerged from the master bedroom.

Jay turned to look at her and felt his jaw drop. She smiled seductively as she slowly walked towards him. She was wearing a deep red, V-neck dress that came to just above her knees. The dress had a matching band that ran around her waist, and the skirt flared out below it. Nadia had packed a pair of matching heels to go with it, but Erin had decided to go barefoot.

Her hair was swept into a delicate bun which was gathered at the base of her head on the right side. She'd left a few stray strands loose to frame her face and wore minimal make-up, knowing Jay preferred her that way. She'd lightly sprayed herself with perfume before leaving the bedroom, the flowing material of her skirt dancing around her thighs.

Jay met Erin half way and she wrapped her arms around his neck as he placed his hands on her waist.

"Happy Valentine's Day," she whispered seductively as she stood on tiptoe to delicately kiss his lips.

"Happy Valentine's Day," he said back, pulling her closer to him.

"Something smells good," she smiled looking into the kitchen.

"Yeah, dinner's ready, but we could always skip it and go straight to dessert," Jay said suggestively, nuzzling her neck.

Erin looked back at him, raising an eyebrow. "Come on, let's eat" she said, leading him to the candlelit table.

They ate dinner as soft music played in the background, one occasionally leaning over to feed the other from their fork. Once they'd finished their meal, they continued to sit at the table sipping on their glasses of wine. They looked longingly at each other as "Unchained Melody" by The Righteous Brothers came on the stereo.

"Dance with me," Erin whispered as she reached for Jay's hand.

They made their way to the middle of the room and embraced each other. Jay bent his head down as Erin tilted hers up so they were dancing cheek to cheek. They swayed gently on the spot, listening to the music.

Erin closed her eyes, breathing in the smell of Jay's aftershave mingling with her own perfume, causing her heart to flutter. She couldn't remember a time where she'd felt more content than this. She wanted to stay in his arms forever.

"Thank you," she whispered into his chest. "This has been the perfect evening."

"You're perfect," Jay said softly back, still swaying to the music. He felt his heart rate increase slightly as he built up to what he wanted to say. "Erin, these past few months with you have been like a dream," he breathed into her hair.

"I feel the same," she said, smiling to herself.

There was a brief moment where neither of them spoke.

"I love you, Erin."

Jay had said it. He'd wanted to for a long time now, but wasn't sure if Erin was ready, so he'd put it off. His heart was pounding as he waited for Erin's response.

Erin's heart stopped. Nobody had ever said that to her before. She looked up at Jay and saw his sparkling blue eyes. She thought her heart might explode at the look he was giving her.

"I love you too, Jay," she breathed back.


	5. Chapter 5 - Let Me In

**Here's the next chapter - I hope you enjoy! I can't believe this story has already got over 20 reviews - please keep them coming, I love reading them!**

 **Chapter 5 – Let me in**

Jay woke on Sunday morning and a wave of euphoria washed over him as he remembered the night before. After he and Erin had confessed their love, they had melted into each other's arms and made love in front of the living room fire.

Jay reached out an arm, wanting to pull Erin to him, but found nothing but empty bed. He opened his eyes and looked around. Erin was standing in front of the floor to ceiling windows in the master bedroom, gazing out at the view. She was wearing Jay's shirt from the night before, which came down to her mid-thigh.

"Babe," Jay said tenderly. "Come back to bed."

Erin remained where she was, still looking out of the windows. A light snow had fallen overnight making it look as if everything outside was covered in glitter as the snow sparkled in the morning sun.

Jay got out of bed and pulled on a pair of sweat pants and a t-shirt. He made his way over to Erin, standing behind her as he wrapped his arms around her waist. He felt her stiffen as he touched her and pulled his arms back, panic immediately flooding him.

"Erin what's wrong?" he said, his voice full of concern.

Erin turned and Jay saw her face. Her eyes were sparkling with tears as she looked at him, her arms crossed over her chest as she hugged herself.

"I don't deserve you Jay," she whispered, almost inaudibly, dropping her head.

"What are you talking about?" Jay said tenderly, sitting back on the bed.

"I don't deserve for you to love me," Erin said again.

"Well that's too bad," Jay replied, "cause I do love you Erin."

"I'm bad news Jay, I end up hurting everyone I care about." A tear fell slowly from Erin's eye and cut a line down her cheek. She turned away, looking out the window again.

"Please don't shut me out," Jay begged from behind her. He recognised her defence mechanism and knew if he didn't get through to her before she put her walls up, he might just lose her.

"I just… I…" she turned back around to face Jay, tears streaming down her face now. "I don't want to hurt you!" she said, almost shouting.

"Erin, please tell me where this coming from?" Jay said, worry coating his voice.

"It's you Jay! You tell me all these wonderful things about me and how much you love me and how perfect I am and I'm so fucking terrified because I love you so damn much!"

Jay watched her shake, framed by the landscape outside the windows. He stood up and in one swift movement pulled her into his arms. She resisted and tried to pull out of his grip but he held her tight, stroking her hair.

"I'm here Erin, I'm here. Please let me in," he told her again and again, his arms wrapped around her. He eventually felt her go limp, losing her strength. She balled her hands into fists and gripped the front of his t-shirt as she sobbed into his chest.

Jay held her for what seemed like an eternity while she wept in his arms. He had never seen her break down like this, she was usually so strong and confident. But the women he held now seemed to be the most fragile thing in the world. He held her until she ran out of tears, whispering words of love into her hair.

She eventually took a deep breath and said in a thick voice "I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to apologise for," he assured her in a soothing tone, still stroking her hair.

"No… Jay… I just… I panicked. I was lying in bed next to you and it all came crashing down on me. How much I love you. I don't think I realised it before you said it." She sniffed and continued. "I guess I just have a hard time trusting when someone says they love me…" she trailed off, her voice even raspier than usual.

"Erin, I meant what I said. I love you so much, and I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere."

"The only people who have ever really loved me are Hank and Camille, and I've been lying to Hank for the last five months," she whispered, feeling fresh tears stinging her eyes.

Jay removed his arms from around her, placing his hands on either side of her face and tilted her head up towards his.

"Erin, Voight loves you no matter what. And so do I." He wiped away a single tear that had fallen onto her cheek with his thumb.

"How can you say that when my own Mom couldn't even love me?" Her voice was a brittle whisper as she confessed the thing that had haunted her since she was a child. Why did she deserve love, when Bunny, her own mother, couldn't even be bothered with her?

"Erin, I don't know a lot about your childhood, but I do know that anyone who doesn't love you is blind. And if your Mom couldn't stay sober long enough to see how special you are, then that's her loss." Jay's heart broke at the pain he saw in Erin's eyes as she remembered her childhood, and he could feel anger bubbling inside him at the thought of all the people who'd hurt her in her life. "Tell me what I can do to make it better," he said softly, looking deeply into her eyes.

"Just hold me," she said back, two more tears leaking from her eyes.

Jay lowered Erin down, sitting on the floor, his back against the side of the bed. He held Erin tightly as she sat in between his legs, her back against his chest, holding tight to his arms wrapped around her. They sat for a long time, just holding onto each other. Erin was the first to break the silence.

"Once, when I was seven and Teddy was almost two, my Dad was out on parole and back with my Mom who was finally sober. I got home from school one day and my Mom yells, "Erin, keep your shoes on, we're going out for ice cream!" I was so excited, y'know, we never did things like that, like a normal family. So the four of us went to this ice cream place round the corner from our building and they let me get whatever I wanted, no matter what it cost. So I got the works! Sprinkles, strawberry syrup, everything! And we were sitting at this little plastic table and I remember feeling so happy. I finally thought things were getting better, that we were going to be a proper family at last. Then the next day my Dad got arrested for beating up some guy and I came home from school to find my Mom at the kitchen table with a bottle of vodka and a syringe next to her. She saw me as I came in and started yelling about how much I reminded her of my Dad and what a bastard he was. And then I made the mistake of asking if she'd ever loved him. And she said, "Love doesn't exist Erin, it's just a fairytale, it's not real." And I never forgot those words."

It was the first detailed story about her childhood that Erin had shared with anyone other than Voight, and Jay knew it was a big deal for her. He tightened his arms around her, letting her know he appreciated her sharing this with him.

"I'm sorry I ruined our romantic weekend," she said, inwardly embarrassed at her break down.

"I said you have nothing to apologise for, Erin. This has been one of the best weekends of my life. You're my partner, and my best friend, and I love you. I'm sorry you panicked, but know that I'm always going to be here for you, no matter what." He paused before adding, "And… thank you."

"For what," Erin said hoarsely.

"For letting me in," Jay said simply.

She looked up at him and placed a tender kiss on his lips.

"I think we should tell Voight," Erin whispered, butterflies dancing in her stomach.

"You sure?" Jay asked, not wanting her to feel pressured into anything.

"I'm sure," she said. "I love you Jay Halstead and I want the world to know. Plus I hate lying to him."

"So when d'you wanna do it?" Jay felt nervous. He wasn't sure if Voight had warmed up to him enough to not kick him out of the unit.

"Tomorrow, first thing when we get in," Erin said. "Otherwise I'm bound to change my mind."

"Deal," Jay said and kissed her again. "Okay, now how about some breakfast?" he grinned.

* * *

Erin and Jay had it all planned out. They were going to walk into Voight's office and tell him everything. They hoped he would accept that their relationship had not affected their work over the last five months and let them continue being partners, but were worried about how angry he would be at their deception.

They made their way up the steps to the bullpen, nerves coursing through their bodies. Everyone else was already in and getting ready for the work day ahead. Erin and Jay looked at each other and headed straight for Voight's office.

Before they reached it however, Voight emerged and barked, "Everyone gather round and listen up. We've got a case."

Erin and Jay glanced at each other, knowing their plan had just been stopped in its tracks.

The unit gathered round to listen to Voight explain the details.

Forty-five minutes later and the unit was getting ready for a bust. Voight had received a tip that a major drug smuggler they'd been tracking was planning on moving a truck full of cocaine out of Chicago, so they were all donning their bullet proof vests as they prepared to put a stop to the operation.

* * *

The team approached the warehouse with silent steps, their weapons raised. They could hear voices talking inside. Voight signalled for Ruzek, Olinsky and Dawson to cover the back, while he, Lindsay, Halstead and Atwater took the front entrance. He nodded once to his team before Atwater broke the door down.

"Chicago PD! Put your hands up!" rang around the large room as the Intelligence unit made its way inside.

The air was ripped apart by the sound of gunshots echoing off the walls. Erin took cover behind a set of shelves as bullets zoomed towards them. From the corner of her eye she saw two men climbing into the large truck that was parked in the centre of the room. They knew from their tipoff that there would be four guys here, so the other two must be the shooters Erin thought. The shooting stopped and she glanced around.

She saw Dawson and Atwater aiming their weapons at the two guys in the truck who now had their hands up. She made her way out from behind the shelves and headed for the direction the shooting had been coming from, Jay hot on her heels.

"Drop your weapons!" she called as she rounded a corner. The man in front of her raised his gun and took more shots at them as Erin fired a bullet into his shoulder without hesitating. The man fell to the ground and Erin moved forward.

A single shot rang out.

* * *

 **I hope you enjoyed this chapter and don't mind the cliffhanger too much - w** **ho's been shot!?**

 **Please leave a review letting me know what you think and what you'd like to see happen in the future... :)**


	6. Chapter 6 - Stay With Me

**I know lots of people were wondering who'd been shot, so here you go! I hope it doesn't disappoint :)**

 **Chapter 6 – Stay with me**

Jay was following his partner through the warehouse. He covered her as she stepped out from her position behind the shelves and they followed the sound of the shooting. Erin took one of the shooters down and they continued forward. Then suddenly, out of nowhere, the second shooter emerged. Erin didn't see him.

A single shot rang out.

Jay watched in horror as Erin fell in slow motion to the floor, her hands grasping at her side.

His one thought was to get to Erin.

He raised his gun and without hesitation, fired a bullet into the shooters head.

"Erin!" Jay yelled as he sprinted towards her. "No! No! Erin!"

He heard someone radio for an ambulance.

Jay fell to his knees watching the rapidly expanding pool of blood spread out from under her. Jay reached for her and pressed his hands to her side, applying pressure to the wound.

"Stay with me Erin, stay with me!" he begged as she struggled to draw breath.

"Jay…" she choked out.

"I'm here Erin, I'm here, I'm not going anywhere, I love you so much, okay, so you have to stay with me!"

"Jay…" she choked again, her voice even weaker than before. Tears were pooling in her eyes with the shock and pain.

"No Erin! This is not how it ends! We're supposed to have our whole lives together remember! We're going to grow old and go to Wisconsin! Okay, so you just have to hold on for me!"

"Wis…con…sin…" she whispered, a slight smile on her lips.

Jay watched as Erin's eyes closed and her head fell to the side.

"No! Erin! Wake up!" Jay could feel tears streaming down his face but he didn't care.

He felt a hand on his shoulder and the gravelly voice of Voight said, "The paramedics are here, Halstead."

His voice was uncharacteristically shakey as he gazed down at the girl he considered his daughter, lying unconscious in her partner's arms.

Jay didn't move, but continued to beg Erin to wake up.

"Jay, they can help her more than you," Olinksy said softly as he bent down and pulled Jay up.

The paramedics rushed in and began tending to Erin.

"I love her, Al!" Jay said, desperation in his voice as Erin was lifted onto a gurney.

"I know you do. I know you do," Olinksy soothed Jay.

Jay could feel Voight's eyes on him as he followed Erin's unconscious body out of the warehouse to the awaiting ambulance.

"I'm going with her!" Jay stated as Voight came closer.

He expected Voight to argue, but Voight simply looked at Jay and nodded.

"We'll meet you at the hospital," Antonio called as Jay climbed into the ambo.

The doors closed and the engine and sirens started. Jay held onto Erin's limp hand, praying for her to stay with him.

* * *

The members of the Intelligence unit sat in silence in the emergency department waiting room at Chicago Med. Erin had been taken straight into surgery upon arrival and they had yet to receive an update.

Jay had watched as doctors crowded over Erin's body before they rushed her through a set of doubles door. He had stood frozen in the middle of the room, staring at the swinging doors, his blood covered hands on the back of his head. He had remained there for what seemed an eternity, although in reality it was only a few seconds.

A nurse had come over and explained that Erin was being taken to surgery and it would be a while before they knew anything. She led him to the waiting room and smiled comfortingly, reassuring him that Erin was in the best hands possible.

Jay hadn't moved since, only speaking to inform Voight of what was going on when he, Antonio and Atwater arrived. Ruzek and Olinsky had returned to the district to deal with the two guys that they'd arrested and sort out the paperwork. They had arrived a little while later and assured Voight that everything was under control.

Burgess and Roman showed up shortly after that, followed by Sergeant Platt and Nadia.

"Any news?" Platt asked the room.

They shook their heads.

"What about the shooters? There were two, right?" Roman questioned.

"One took a bullet to the shoulder. He's in intensive care but they say he'll make a full recovery. The one that shot Lindsay is dead," Antonio informed him.

They had fallen back into silence after that. Jay could feel the eyes of the others on him, but he didn't care. He knew they had all heard what he had said as Erin lay dying beneath him, but he couldn't worry about that now.

Not when his whole world was falling apart.

Jay couldn't stand the silence any more. He got up and headed to the bathroom, feeling multiple pairs of eyes following him.

He stood staring in the mirror above the sink. His eyes were bloodshot and he had a dark stain on his t-shirt. He looked down at his hands. They too were stained with Erin's dried blood. He turned on the faucet and held his hands under the scorching water, scrubbing away the evidence of the day.

He heard the door being pushed cautiously open and turned to see Nadia entering the bathroom. She looked at the broken man in front of her, before moving to pull him into a tight hug. She knew Jay would be dying inside as they waited for news about Erin's condition. Jay held her back, knowing this was hard for her too. He knew Erin had come to consider Nadia as more of a sister than just a friend, and he assumed Nadia felt the same about Erin.

They didn't have to exchange a single word, but they both knew that the other was there for them.

They emerged from the bathroom and Jay resumed his old position. He didn't know how long they all sat there for. The others made light conversation as they waited, but Jay remained silent. His mind was focussed on one thing. Willing Erin to be alright.

After a long time, his eyes fell on a man in scrubs who was making his way towards them. Jay jumped to his feet and the others joined him as the doctor approached them.

"Family and friends of Erin Lindsay?" the doctor asked as they crowded around him.

They all nodded.

"My name is Dr Hunslow. Miss Lindsay suffered a gunshot wound to the side of her chest and severe blood loss. She was very lucky in that the bullet missed any of her vital organs. We managed to repair the damage and have the internal bleeding under control for now. She is currently unconscious and in the recovery wing."

"So, what? Is she going to be okay?" Voight demanded, his voice full of concern.

"It's early days yet," the doctor continued. "At the moment she is stable, although there is a risk of infection. We will continue to monitor her vitals round the clock."

"Can we see her?" Jay croaked, his voice hoarse from not speaking for so long.

"Of course," the doctor reassured him. "But I must restrict you to one visitor at a time."

"How long until she wakes up?" Voight questioned.

"That's up to her really," Dr Hunslow informed them. "It's different for everybody. It could be a few hours, it could be a few days, there's really no way to know."

"Thanks Doc," Voight said.

"She's in room 268. Just follow the signs to recovery and you'll find her. I'll be back in a few hours to check on her. In the meantime, if you have any questions, the nurses will be happy to help." The doctor smiled at them before walking away.

Voight let out a sigh as he turned to the rest of the unit. "I want you all to go home and get some rest. It's been a stressful day, but Lindsay's alright for now so we can all relax a bit. Any change and I'll let you know."

Everyone began to gather their jackets and belongings, mumbling words of comfort to Voight, assuring him that Erin was a fighter and she'd be fine.

Once they'd gone, Voight turned back to where Jay had been standing.

"Halstead, I…" Voight started, but Jay was gone.

* * *

As Voight turned to speak to the rest of the unit, Jay crossed the waiting room and slipped out the door without anyone noticing. He looked around for a sign and made his way to the recovery wing.

As he strode down the corridor, counting off doors, he tried to prepare himself for what she might look like.

He stopped.

The door to room 268 was shut, but the blinds covering the large window to the corridor were open.

Jay stared inside the room at the frail shell of a woman that was lying in the bed. Erin was small anyway, but she seemed to have shrunk as the hospital bed surrounded her. The covers were pulled up to her waist and her hair was fanned out on the pillow behind her head, making it look as if she had a halo.

Jay could see tubes and wires connecting her to various machines, but breathed a sigh of relief. He had half expected her to have a tube down her throat, but the fact that she didn't meant she was strong enough to breath on her own. A good sign, surely, Jay thought.

He took a deep breath and quietly entered the room, leaving the door slightly ajar. He crossed the room and sat down in the seat next to the bed. He took one of her pale hands in both of his and brought his lips to it. He bowed his head.

"Erin… I… I don't know if you can hear me, but…" Jay paused as a lump came to his throat and he felt his eyes burning. He looked into her white face.

"I need you to wake up for me," he said, his voice barely more than a whisper. "I need to see your beautiful eyes. I need to hold you and kiss you and hear you laugh, Erin, because your laugh makes me want to live. And I don't know how to exist in a world where I won't hear your laugh again. We've got so much more to do, we've got our whole lives to live. We've got babies to make and grandkids to spoil and Wisconsin to retire to. And only when we're really old and sitting in our rocking chairs, we'll take our last breaths, and we'll go together so neither of us has to live a second without the other. So you see, this isn't how it ends Erin. I love you so much, you just need to open your eyes for me."

Jay continued to hold onto Erin's hand, unaware of Voight standing outside the room, listening to every word he said.

"Halstead," Voight said in his low gravelly voice as he moved into the doorway.

Jay jumped and looked around.

"Sir, I… I had to see her," he began before Voight interrupted him.

"In the hall Halstead," he said, indicating his head out of the room.

Jay nodded and got to his feet, delicately replacing Erin's hand on the top of her bedsheets as he placed a soft kiss on her forehead. He followed Voight out of the room.

Voight looked at the younger man that stood before him. He seemed to have aged a thousand years since this morning.

"I'm not gonna pretend that I didn't hear what you just said," Voight began and Jay nodded. "You love her?" he asked, his eyes not leaving Jay's.

"More than anything," Jay croaked.

There was a long pause

"I believe you," Voight said eventually. "How long has this been going on?"

"Since she left for the task force," Jay replied, seeing no point in lying. It didn't seem like Voight was going to attack him at the moment and he didn't have the strength to think of a lie.

"So nearly half a year," Voight stated and Jay nodded again.

"We were going to tell you this morning, but then…" Jay trailed off.

"Then other stuff got in the way," Voight finished for him, sighing. "I'm not happy about the two of you keeping this from me, Halstead."

"I understand Sir, and we wanted to tell you as soon as we realised it wasn't affecting our work, but…"

"But you didn't want to rock the boat," Voight finished the sentence again.

They stood in awkward silence for a few seconds before Voight spoke.

"These past few months, Erin has been the happiest I've ever seen her. You did that Halstead."

Jay's shoulders suddenly sagged and his knees gave way as his back slid down the wall behind him. He sat on the floor, back against the wall, knees bent, his head in his hands.

"I should've protected her. I'm her partner. I should've had her back. This is my fault," Jay moaned into his hands, guilt washing over him.

"Halstead, this is not on you," Voight said softly as he crouched next to the broken man and placed a hand on his shoulder. "The only person whose fault this is, is the scumbag who shot her, and you dealt with him. Don't blame yourself, you did everything you could."

Jay looked up, surprised at the reassurance and comfort Voight was giving him.

"You should go home, get some rest, it's been a long day," Voight told Jay, giving his shoulder a slight squeeze.

"I'm not going anywhere," Jay stated, looking straight at Voight.

Voight considered him for a few seconds.

"You're more stubborn than Erin, Halstead," he finally said.

"No one's more stubborn than Erin," Jay smiled.

Voight chuckled slightly and said in a low voice, "Yeah, you got that right."

He got to his feet and looked down at Jay. "Give me a few minutes with her," he said as he headed for the door.

Voight crossed the room and took the seat Jay had occupied.

"Hey kiddo," he said softly. "You really had us worried there."

Voight looked at her lying helplessly in the hospital bed and memories washed over him of the last time he had sat next to someone he loved, fighting for their life, machines doing what their body couldn't.

"If you see Camille, you tell her that it's not your time to go. You tell her to turn around, that you've got the rest of your life to live. Because you've got a man out there who loves you more than anything in the world. So you fight. You fight and you come back to him."

He gave Erin's hand a gentle squeeze and lightly kissed her cheek as he stood.

"I love you kid, I'll be back first thing tomorrow." He exited the room.

Jay was on his feet again in the corridor, having pulled himself together after Voight left. He couldn't quite wrap his head around the fact that Voight seemed to have given them his blessing. He watched as Voight came out of Erin's room, gently pulling the door closed behind him.

Jay headed over to him and said, "Sir, I just wanted to say… thank you."

"Yeah, well, you're good for her Halstead," Voight replied, smiling slightly. "But if you ever hurt her…"

"They'll never find my body, I know," Jay interrupted him, nodding.

"Glad we're on the same page," Voight said before clapping him on the shoulder. "Make sure you get some rest, you'll be no good to her exhausted." Jay nodded. "I'll be back in the morning. Let me know if there's any change."

"Will do, Sir," Jay assured him and watched Voight's retreating back before he made his way back inside Erin's room.

* * *

 **I hope you enjoyed this chapter. As always, please review!**

 **So far, I've been posting weekly updates and I think that's the schedule I'm going to stick to as it seems to be working quite well.**

 **I already have the next few instalments finished. The next chapter is called '3am' :)**


	7. Chapter 7 - 3am

**Hello! Thank you so much for all your reviews! I hope you enjoy this next chapter :)**

 **Chapter 7 - 3am**

Erin's body felt like it was filled with lead. She tried to move but couldn't muster the strength. She could hear soft breathing from somewhere next to her, mingling with a strange beeping sound. Her eyelids slowly fluttered opened.

The room was dark, only illuminated by a few thin strips of artificial light that leaked through the closed blinds at the window. She tried to swallow but her throat felt like sandpaper. Instead, she managed to turn her head slightly, which made the room spin for a second. Her eyes focussed on a collection of machines which seemed to be the source of the strange beeping. Her eyes followed the path of the wires coming from the machines and she realised that they were connected to her. She turned her head again and saw a man sitting in a chair by her bed. He was fast asleep with his head against the back of the chair, stubble lightly covering his lower face.

Erin smiled inwardly. Jay was here. Everything was going to be okay.

She tried to speak, but all that came out was a small squeak. She tried again.

"Jay." Her voice was so weak she was sure he wouldn't hear her. To her surprise, Jay's eyes shot open. He looked around and his gaze fell upon Erin.

"Hey," he smiled, his voice soft and his eyes full with tears of relief.

"Hey." She smiled back at him, the muscles in her face aching as she did. Her voice was still little more than a croak, and Jay looked at her with concern.

"Here," he said and he reached to pour her a cup of water. He placed a straw in the cup and held it to her mouth. She took a few sips, feeling the cool liquid sooth her aching throat.

"Thanks," she told him, and was pleased to hear her voice was slightly less croaky.

"How're you feeling?" Jay asked, worry coating his voice.

"Like I was shot." Erin tried to laugh, but a shooting pain in her chest caused her to grimace instead.

"I should get a doctor," Jay said as he got up from his seat.

"Don't," she whispered to him. "I only want you."

Jay looked at her before taking his seat again. He gently grasped her hand and said, "Okay."

"What time is it?" she enquired, her voice still groggy.

"3am," he informed her, checking his watch.

Erin nodded slowly and then frowned. "Wait, what day is it?" she asked, realising she didn't even know that.

"It's Tuesday morning," Jay smiled at her.

"Okay," she breathed. "So I wasn't out for too long."

"Easy for you to say, sleeping beauty," Jay teased her gently. "Seemed like an eternity from where I was sitting." His face became serious as he leaned forward, looking into her eyes. "Never scare me like that again," he whispered.

"I'm sorry," she whispered back, gently lifting her hand out of his to caress his cheek. He smiled at her touch.

"I never want to lose you. I love you so much Erin."

"I love you too."

Jay leaned over and placed his lips delicately on hers.

"I should call Voight and let him know you're awake," he said as he pulled back.

"Let him sleep, Jay," Erin started, before saying, "Wait, Voight knows you're here?"

Jay nodded. "He told me I'm good for you," he smiled.

"I don't understand," Erin said, frowning with confusion.

"I think he's okay about you and me," Jay informed her, an even bigger smile forming across his face.

Erin stared at the ceiling, shocked.

"Wow," she exhaled. "If I'd known that's all it would take to get his blessing, I would've gotten shot a lot sooner," she grinned. "Too soon?" she said, noticing the pain in his eyes.

"Just a little," he replied softly.

He gently stroked her cheek as she tried to suppress a yawn.

"You should get some more rest," he told her.

"I'm okay," she insisted, but felt her head beginning to fill with fog again.

"Go back to sleep, Erin, I'll be here when you wake up."

"Promise?" she whispered, her eyes already closing.

"Promise."

* * *

Jay had fallen back into an uneasy sleep after Erin had drifted off again. He was woken in the morning by the nurses performing their rounds. He sat and watched as Erin slowly regained consciousness. She opened her eyes and smiled at him.

"You're still here," she croaked at him.

"Where else would I be?" he said, holding the cup of water to her mouth again.

There was a soft knock at the door and Voight's head appeared as it opened.

"Hank," Erin smiled as he came closer.

"I'll go get some coffee," Jay said, offering his chair to Voight.

"You should go home Halstead," Voight told him, taking the chair.

"I told you, I'm…" Jay started to say but Voight cut him off.

"That was yesterday, but you've been here all night and you look like crap. Go get some real sleep and come back later."

Jay looked at Erin.

"Go, I'll be fine," she smiled at him. Jay walked over to her and kissed her forehead.

"I'll be back soon," he assured her before walking away.

Erin turned to look at Hank, who was staring at her with a smile on his face.

"What?" she asked, her voice still huskier than usual.

"I guess I should start setting an extra place at Sunday dinners," he said, nodding to the door that Jay had just left through.

Erin looked at him, her eyes roaming his face. "Are you sure you're really alright with this?" she questioned.

"Erin, you didn't see him after you were shot. He was…" Hank sighed as he struggled to find the right words. "… he was a mess," he finished, then said, "That man loves you Erin, even a fool could see that."

"I know," she smiled to herself. "Hank, I'm sorry. I know you didn't want this."

"I'll admit it's not ideal, but as long as I don't see it at the office, then I'm okay with it. I'm glad you're happy, kid, and I'm glad you're okay." Hank smiled at Erin's relief. "Now, I told the unit not to expect me back any time soon, so…" He sat back in his chair and reached for a remote.

The TV across from Erin's bed flickered on and Hank scrolled through the channels before settling on one.

"You know how much I love cop shows," he grinned at her.

* * *

Much to Erin's annoyance, the doctors insisted she remain in the hospital for the next week.

"But I'm feeling fine, good even," she assured Dr Hunslow when he informed that she wouldn't be able to go home yet.

"That's because we've got you on some very strong pain medication right now'" he told her. "We just want to be on the safe side, make sure you don't develop an infection."

Erin sighed, knowing she was fighting a losing battle. Even if she tried to discharge herself, she knew Hank and Jay would strap her back down to the bed if it stopped her leaving.

She had a stream of visitors over the next few days, and Dr Hunslow relaxed his rule of only one visitor at a time.

Atwater and Ruzek showed up and expressed their disbelief at how well Erin and Jay had hidden their relationship, although by the time they left, they were swearing they had known about it all along.

Burgess and Roman dropped by whenever they could, Kim bringing Erin a new token from the gift shop each time.

"Seriously Kim, is there even a gift shop left downstairs?" Erin joked when she saw Kim standing in the doorway holding a massive stuffed bear with a green bow around its neck.

"I just want you to know we're all thinking of you!" Kim shrugged the comment off as she sat the bear in the corner of the room.

Erin looked around. "It looks like the gift shop threw up in here," she said as she accepted Kim's hug.

"The least you can do is accept your gifts gracefully!" Kim said in a mock scolding tone. "Especially after you didn't tell me about you and Halstead."

"You knew I was dating someone," Erin defended, shrugging slightly.

"Yeah, I knew you were dating someone!" Kim retorted, putting emphasis on the last word. "But Halstead?! I don't know how you two kept that a secret for so long. Adam and I only made it a few weeks before people knew!"

Erin just smiled at her. Even though she was lying in a hospital bed having been shot less than a week ago, Erin was happier than she'd ever been. Everyone knew about her and Jay's relationship now. It somehow made it feel more real.

She had expected to feel scared and panicked at the thought of being in an official relationship, but she felt nothing but pure joy. Although she loved it when members of the Intelligence unit dropped by, the one person she looked forward to seeing the most was Jay.

Jay visited Erin whenever he could, knowing she was going out of her mind with boredom and daytime television. He stopped by before work every morning and tried to make it back during his lunch break.

The best times were when he came by after work, which he did every day, because Erin knew they had the whole evening together. She had initially felt guilty about taking up so much of Jay's time, but felt better when he assured her there was nowhere else he'd rather be.

On Erin's fourth day in the hospital, she looked over to Jay who was in his usual chair beside her bed. He was just finishing one of the burgers he'd brought for their dinner, knowing Erin was not impressed by the hospital food.

"So…" Erin began, a small smile playing on her lips. "What exactly did you say to convince Voight about us?" She had been wondering it ever since finding out Voight was okay about her and Jay.

"That's for me to know and you to find out," he teased her, raising his eyebrow slightly.

"How am I supposed to find out if you won't tell me?! Voight definitely won't," she whined, and Jay shot her one of his trademark grins that simultaneously infuriated her and made her melt inside. She composed herself and said seriously, "It must have been pretty special for Hank to give us his blessing."

Jay looked at her and Erin saw his heart reflected in his eyes.

"It was," he said softly.

* * *

Erin was discharged from the hospital a week later, but was infuriated when Dr Hunslow said he would be signing her off work for the next six weeks. She was happy to be going home but had no idea what she was going to do to keep herself occupied. She had never been very good at taking it easy and she'd had enough daytime television to last a lifetime.

Jay wheeled her out of the hospital after her discharge papers had been signed and helped her into his car. They arrived at her apartment and found Nadia waiting for them.

"Welcome home!" she squealed as Jay supported Erin through the door.

"Thanks, it's good to be home," Erin smiled as Jay eased her onto the couch before going back down to the car to bring in the rest of Erin's belongings.

Nadia crossed the room to perch on the end of the couch opposite Erin.

"Okay, I've stocked the kitchen with all your favourite food so if you want anything you just let me know!" Nadia smiled at her.

"Nadia you don't have to do that, you're my roommate not my servant," Erin insisted.

Nadia looked down at her hands as her fingers entwined nervously.

"Yeah, about that…" she said quietly. "I think it's time I moved out."

She glanced up at Erin before carrying on quickly. "It's not that I don't love living here, because I do! But I've got enough saved up for a deposit now, not enough for anything fancy, but enough. And it'd be nice to have my own place before I start the Academy."

Erin smiled at her. "Nadia, I'm really happy for you," she assured the younger girl. "You're getting your life on track and I'm so proud of you."

"It won't be anytime soon," Nadia continued. "I mean, I haven't even started looking yet. Besides, I could hardly leave you after you've just come out of the hospital."

"As soon as you find a place, you go for it, okay?" Erin insisted. "Don't worry about me, I'll be fine. I'm going to miss you though. Who am I gonna eat pop tarts with when we both wake up at 3am?" she joked.

"Hey, I can think of better things you could be doing at 3am, especially if Halstead is staying over!" Nadia smirked at her, raising an eyebrow.

Erin rolled her eyes and said, "Yeah, well, that's not gonna be happening anytime soon. The doctor said no physical activity for the next six weeks, so…"

"Oh man that sucks," Nadia sympathised. "How're you gonna cope?"

"Hey! I have self-control!" Erin exclaimed.

"Erin, we share a wall. I know for a fact that you have no self-control."

Erin felt herself turning bright red. "You've heard us?!" she cried with embarrassment, covering her face with her hands.

"Hey don't worry about it," Nadia grinned at her. "If I had someone that looked like Halstead in my bed, I wouldn't be thinking about keeping the noise down!"

Just then, Jay appeared in the doorway, his arms loaded with all the gifts Kim had bought Erin.

"Hey, what are you girls whispering about?" he asked as he set the giant teddy bear down.

Erin and Nadia looked at each other, before falling into fits of laughter.

* * *

 **I hope you enjoyed this chapter - please review!**

 **The next chapter is called "You, me and Voight"**


	8. Chapter 8 - You, me and Voight

**Hello! Sorry for posting this a bit later than usual - exam's have been getting in the way, but they're almost over now!**

 **I hope you enjoy this chapter... :)**

* * *

 **Chapter 8 – You, me and Voight**

Five weeks had passed since Erin had been discharged from the hospital. Jay had stayed over at her apartment almost every night since she'd come home, not wanting something to happen in the middle of the night and not be there for her.

Erin had felt good as new after the first three weeks and desperately tried to convince Jay to break the no physical activity rule. Jay, however, was adamant that he was not going put her recovery at risk, no matter how irresistible he found her.

Erin had also begged Voight to let her come back to work, but he too refused to entertain the idea until she'd been given medical clearance. She hated having to stay at home while Jay went to work each day, and he soon learned not to discuss the cases the unit was working on around Erin. One quick glance at Erin's jealous face when he complained about the amount of paperwork he had to do was enough to stop him bringing up work again.

It was Sunday morning and Erin and Jay were getting dressed.

"Hey, does this shirt go with these pants?" Jay called from Erin's bedroom.

She looked up from the bathroom mirror where she was finishing her make-up. She smiled at the sight of Jay anxiously inspecting his appearance.

"Babe, you know it does." She walked into the bedroom from her en-suite and pressed her chest against Jay's back, breathing in his scent as she wrapped her arms around his chest. "You need to relax," she told him softly.

"Erin, we're having dinner at Voight's house! How am I supposed to relax?"

"You see him every day at work, why should this be any different?" she said as she moved to the closet to search for a dress to wear.

"This is entirely different," Jay insisted, exasperated. "This is you, me and Voight, eating dinner, in his house."

"You know," Erin began in a lightly teasing tone as she pulled on a simple green dress, "You should feel honoured."

"Oh yeah, why's that?" Jay asked as he moved to pull the zipper of the dress up her back.

"Because," she said, turning to face him and wrapping her arms around his waist, "You're the first guy I've ever dated that Hank's invited to Sunday dinner."

"And that's supposed to make me feel better?" Jay said, exasperated again.

* * *

Jay was taking deep breaths to steady his nerves as he and Erin made their way up the front steps of Voight's house. Erin fought the urge to giggle. She was finding it adorable how anxious he was about this dinner.

Hank opened the door before they had a chance to knock.

"Hey!" Erin exclaimed as she moved forward to embrace Voight. "Be nice," she whispered into his ear as she hugged him.

She stepped aside and Jay moved forward.

"Jay, good to see you," Hank said, extending his right hand.

Jay hesitated for a second, momentarily stunned at Voight's use of his first name. He composed himself and grasped his outstretched hand.

"You too, Sir," he said.

"Jay, when you're in my home, you call me Hank, okay?" Hank told him.

"Okay, Hank," Jay corrected.

Erin smiled at the exchange as they made their way inside.

"What've you got there, Jay?" Hank asked, spotting the bottle in Jay's hand.

"Wine," Jay said, holding the bottle up.

Hank took it and examined the label before nodding his approval. "Nice, good choice."

Jay felt himself relax a little as he slipped an arm around Erin's waist and they followed Hank into the kitchen.

* * *

Thirty minutes later and the three of them were sitting around Hank's dining room table, tucking into their meal.

"So, you excited about coming back to work next week kid?" Hank asked Erin as he loaded his fork with mashed potato.

"Oh, I can't wait," she assured him. "There is some serious garbage on TV during the day and I think Nadia's had enough of me reorganising the kitchen."

"Yeah, well I think after the seventh time her patience finally ran out," Jay laughed and she rolled her eyes at him.

"So, when's she moving out?" Hank asked.

Nadia had found an affordable apartment only one block away from Erin's, and she'd immediately filled out an application.

"Two weeks," Erin replied.

"You gonna be okay living on your own again? It's been over a year since she moved with you," Hank said, reaching for his glass of wine.

"Uh, actually…" Erin and Jay looked at each other, both lowering their knives and forks. "We wanted to talk to you about that."

* * *

 _Erin was jolted awake by a strange buzzing noise. She reached over to pull her phone off the bedside table, but the screen was still black._

 _"Jay…" she mumbled, still groggy from her deep sleep. "Jay, your phone."_

 _She watched as Jay sat up and glanced at his illuminated phone screen._

 _"Anyone important?" she asked, gingerly levering herself into a sitting position, careful of her recent injury._

 _"Just my landlord," Jay said as he set a reminder on his phone. "I meant to call him back last night but I guess I forgot."_

 _"What does he want?"_

 _"Oh, he just needs me to confirm that I want to extend my contract for another year," he said, replacing his phone on the table beside him before swinging his legs out of bed._

 _"You're getting up now?" Erin complained. "But it's still so early!"_

 _"Erin, the alarm's gonna go off in ten minutes, I'm just getting a head start," Jay told her, disappearing into the en-suite._

 _Erin leaned back on her pillows as she heard the shower turn on, deep in thought._

 _Five minutes later, Jay appeared again, a towel wrapped around his waist and water droplets running down his bare chest. Erin felt her pulse quicken at the sight of her almost naked boyfriend just feet from her._

 _"Hey, I've been thinking," she said cautiously. "What if you didn't extend your contract?"_

 _"Huh?" Jay asked, not paying attention._

 _"Your apartment contract, what if you didn't extend it?" she repeated._

 _"Well then I'd have to move into Al's garage in a month because I'd be homeless," Jay said, confused as he pulled on a t-shirt._

 _Erin rolled her eyes at how slowly he was grasping her point._

 _"No Jay, what if you didn't extend your contract and you moved in here? With me?"_

 _Jay turned to look at her. She was looking right back at him, smiling._

 _"You serious?" he asked, his heart beating fast as he sat down on the edge of the bed next to her._

 _"Yeah I'm serious!" she replied. "It makes sense, I mean you're here every night anyway, and if your lease is up then…"_

 _Her words were lost as Jay crashed his lips against hers._

 _"I guess that's a yes?!" she grinned as he pulled away._

 _He grinned back at her and said, "Yes Erin Lindsay, I will move in with you!"_

* * *

Hank looked up from his plate, intrigued.

"We've decided that Jay is going to move in to my apartment after Nadia leaves." Erin said it fast and she and Jay held their breath as Hank looked between them.

"Okay," Hank shrugged casually and continued eating.

Their eyes both widened in shock.

"You're… you're okay with this?" Erin stuttered, not quite believing what she was hearing.

"I've told you both, as long as I don't have to see it at work and it's not affecting the job, then I'm okay with the two of you." Hank motioned his fork between her and Jay. "Sure, I think it's a little fast, but…"

"We've been together for over six months Hank!" Erin interrupted him.

"Yeah, well, I haven't known about it for six weeks yet," Hank reminded them and they both dropped their eyes to their plates, embarrassed. His expression softened as he looked at Erin. "Look, if you're happy, then I'm happy, okay? So if this is what you want, then I'm good with it."

"It's what I want," she said gently, looking at Jay and extending her hand to him.

"It's what we both want," he said, just as gently, taking her hand in his.

* * *

Two hours later and Erin had just finished clearing the kitchen after dinner. She had sent Hank and Jay into the sitting room together, insisting she had everything under control. She really wanted them to get to know each other a little better outside of work.

Thinking that it had been suspiciously quiet for a while, she made her way out of the kitchen and through the dining room, before stopping short in the doorway that led to the sitting room.

Hank and Jay were both sitting on the couch looking at a large leather bound photo album open in Hank's lap. She could hear them chuckling softly as Hank pointed to a photo.

"What're you two giggling about?" Erin said as she made her way into the room, taking a seat in one of Hank's comfy arm chairs.

"Oh, Hank was just telling me about the time he caught you trying to convince Justin he was an alien," Jay laughed, looking at her.

Erin rolled her eyes, knowing this was one of Hank's favourite stories to tell.

"Yeah, caught her telling him he was from planet… ugh, what was it?" Hank asked looking to Erin.

"Planet Loser-Kid," she said, grinning at her feet with embarrassment.

"That's right, planet Loser-Kid! I mean, she had the whole story planned out! The amount of thought she put into it, just to mess with the kid!" Hank laughed.

"Yeah, well he believed it for three days so joke's on him!" Erin exclaimed, joining in with the laughing.

"And Camille snapped that picture when Justin realised she'd made it all up," Hank said, pointing to the photo album.

Jay looked down. The picture showed a teenage Erin being pinned down by a young Justin who had obviously just wrestled her to the floor.

Jay smiled and looked over to Erin. "I'm glad you've got better at fighting back, or as your partner, I'd be seriously worried!" he teased her and she rolled her eyes again.

* * *

"Well, I think it's safe to say that was a success," Erin smiled as she drove her and Jay back to her apartment.

The afternoon with Hank had gone even better than she'd hoped, what with Hank accepting their moving in together and treating Jay to the family photo albums.

She glanced at Jay.

"What?" she asked, noticing his strange expression.

"It's just weird, seeing Voight like that," he answered, smiling slightly.

"Like what?"

"I don't know… like your Dad, and not your boss." Jay didn't know how to express it, but he'd just seen a side to Voight that, at one point, he was sure didn't exist.

"I've told you all along that he's a big softie!" she grinned at him.

"Yeah, well I wouldn't go that far!" Jay joked and placed his hand on Erin's thigh. He became serious as he said, "I'm glad he's happy for us."

"Me too." She paused before continuing. "Although even if he wasn't, you know it wouldn't have changed anything," she said, her tone soft, giving him a small smile.

He smiled back, his eyes a window through which she could see all his love for her. He gave her thigh a quick squeeze and saw all his feelings reflected back at him in her eyes.

* * *

 **Please review - it really helps to motivate me!**

 **Next chapter is called 'Maybe One Day'**


	9. Chapter 9 - Maybe One Day

**I can't believe this story has over 50 reviews and nearly 100 follows! It's so much more than I ever imagined and it's so encouraging to know people are enjoying my writing.**

 **I want to say a huge thank you to everybody who has followed, favourited and reviewed - I really appreciate it :)**

 **Also, I can't believe we've only got two episodes left until the end of season 3! I'll just have to spend the summer writing this story to fill the CPD shaped void! I'm really looking forward to this week's episode - from the promo photo's I'm hoping we're going to get some good Linstead!**

 **In the meantime, enjoy this next chapter :)**

* * *

 **Chapter 9 – Maybe One Day**

Erin rolled over as she woke up, squinting at the bright sunlight streaming through a gap in the curtains. She felt Jay move next to her.

"Morning," she smiled at him as he opened his eyes.

"Morning," he said back, his voice groggy as he stretched. He began to get out of bed, but Erin grabbed his arm before he stood up.

"You know what day it is?" she asked seductively, her husky voice low as she ran her fingers up and down his arm.

Jay smiled, remembering. "I do know what day it is," he replied as he leaned back in bed, pulling her to him.

Today marked six weeks since Erin had been shot, and more importantly, the end of the no physical activity rule.

"Well then," Erin said as she swung a leg over Jay so she was straddling him. "I think it's time I showed you how grateful I am for everything you've done for me," she teased as she leaned over him, peppering delicate kisses over his chest, shoulders and neck.

Jay felt his skin burning where her lips danced over him. He moved his hands to her waist, his fingers travelling under the Blackhawks t-shirt she'd borrowed. He grasped at her bare skin, needing to touch some part of her. He felt her erupt in goose bumps under his fingers.

Erin moved her lips up Jay's neck and over his jawline and she heard him moan softly. Jay wasn't sure how much longer he could take her teasing. It had been agony not being able to touch her like this for so long.

Her lips finally met his and her tongue met his as he returned her kiss with equal passion.

"I've missed you so much," she whispered into his mouth as she felt him move beneath her.

Jay flipped Erin onto her back and held himself over her body, breathing hard with desire.

"Me too," he breathed back before resuming their morning fun.

* * *

"Kim says she'll be here in five," Erin shouted from the kitchen.

"Okay!" came Nadia's response from her bedroom.

Erin emptied a family size bag of potato chips into a bowl and placed it on the coffee table in the living room.

It was Nadia's last night before moving into her own apartment, so her, Erin and Kim had decided to stay in and have a thoroughly stereotypical slumber party. Erin, whose only knowledge of slumber parties came from watching cheesy movies, was determined to make this a fun night for Nadia.

Erin heard a knock on the door and grabbed a handful of chips before heading over to answer it.

"Happy slumber party!" a pyjama clad Kim cried as Erin swung the door open. "Man, how do you manage to look hot even in pyjamas?" she said, referencing Erin's own attire.

Erin laughed as she closed the door.

"One of your neighbours gave me a really weird look in the elevator just now," Kim continued, pulling a bottle of wine out of one of her bags. "But I don't get what the big deal is, I mean, people go to the grocery store in pyjamas and everything now!"

Nadia emerged from her bedroom, also in her nightwear.

"Alright, I am ready to slumber it up!" she announced to the room. "What are we doing first? Facemasks, movies, make overs?"

"Pizza," Erin decided as her stomach gave a loud rumble and she reached for her phone.

"Good call," Nadia agreed.

"Hey Nadia, what're you drinking?" Kim called from the kitchen as she poured two large glasses of wine for herself and Erin.

"You know, I think I'll go wild with a soda tonight!" Nadia joked, inspecting the pamper set Kim had brought over. "Does this actually have snail slime in it?" she asked, pulling a face as she read the label of one of the facemasks.

"Apparently," Kim replied. "My sister swears by it. Says it leaves your skin super soft and supple or something."

"Gross," Nadia muttered, replacing the mask and silently thinking there was no way she would be putting that on her face.

"Pizza will be here in twenty," Erin said as she hung up her phone.

"Okay, well I propose a toast," said Kim as she handed the girls their respective drinks. "To Nadia, moving into her first apartment tomorrow, and to Erin, moving in with Halstead! Cheers!"

"Cheers!" Erin and Nadia chorused and they all clinked their glasses.

The pizza turned up twenty minutes later and the girls settled themselves under a big blanket on the couch.

Kim reached for a slice and turned to Erin.

"So, how's it going with you and Jay?" she questioned, an expectant look on her face.

Erin grinned and felt herself blushing as she too reached for the pizza. "Good, really good," she replied, taking a big bite. She'd never been very good at girl talk.

"Good? That's all you're giving us?" Kim cried, exasperated.

"Yeah, c'mon Erin, it's a slumber party! Spill your guts!" Nadia joined in.

"I don't know what to say!" Erin said as she held her hands up in mock surrender.

"Oh please!" Kim scoffed. "You're moving in together! It must be getting serious?"

"I guess," Erin shrugged, taking another bite of pizza. "We haven't really talked about it."

Kim and Nadia stared at her.

"You mean you're moving in together and you haven't talked about where it's going?" Kim questioned, her tone one of disbelief.

Erin shook her head, chewing on her mouthful of pizza. In all honesty, she had been thinking a lot about her and Jay's future recently, especially after she'd asked him to move in. This was the first really serious relationship Erin had ever been in, and she wasn't sure what to expect next. Yes, she loved Jay and she'd suggested he move in, but was she ready for what came next? She'd put off bringing it up with Jay, afraid of what he might say.

"What about you and Adam, how's that going?" Erin asked Kim, shifting the focus off of herself.

Kim launched into a rant about how Adam was always leaving dirty laundry everywhere and Erin let her mind wander. She knew Jay probably saw marriage and kids in his future, but she'd never really considered it properly before. It was a conversation that was long overdue and Erin realised she couldn't put it off any longer.

* * *

Erin jerked awake as a loud knocking filled her apartment. She lifted her head and rolled off the couch as she got to her feet, wrapping her blanket around her shoulders tightly. Her eyes glanced at Nadia curled up in a tight ball at the other end of the couch, before she tripped over Kim who was sprawled out on the floor. Kim grunted but didn't wake up. The knocking continued.

Erin glanced at her reflection in the mirror as she made her way to the door.

"Ugh," she moaned as she took in her appearance. The messy bun she'd scraped her hair into last night was now completely off centre, with half her hair hanging out, and she had red marks on her right cheek from the creases on the couch cushion.

She reached for the door as the knocking grew louder.

She was greeted by the sight of Jay and his brother Will standing in the corridor.

"Nice hair," Jay teased as he leaned in for a kiss.

"Crap, what time is it?" she asked, accepting his kiss before stepping aside to let them in.

"Nearly nine," Jay informed her, his eyes roaming over the disaster zone that was the living room. "You know the guys are gonna be here in like, thirty minutes?"

Erin's eyes followed his. The empty pizza boxes were piled at one end of the coffee table, two empty wine bottles next to them. An ice-cream tub, also empty, sat at the other end of the table, three spoons sticking out. Various nail polishes were littered across the table top, and multiple cushions were strewn across the floor. The potato chip bowl lay on its side, a few crumbs surrounding it, and popcorn was dotted on the rug.

"We must've forgotten to set the alarm," Erin offered, grinning sheepishly at him. Jay just stared at her, fighting the urge to burst out laughing.

"Well, you girls look like you had fun last night," Will observed, his amusement evident as his eyes scanned the mess.

Erin moved to prod Kim and Nadia awake.

* * *

Thirty minutes later and the girls were looking presentable. Erin emerged from her bedroom to see the mess from the living room completely gone. She looked over at Will and Jay, her eyes landing on the trash bag in Jay's hand.

"Thanks you guys," she said. Nadia and Kim entered the room as more knocking filled the apartment.

Will moved to answer the door which revealed Kevin, Adam and Mouse.

"Hey guys, thanks for doing this," Nadia called to them as they entered. They waved it off saying it was nothing before Kevin clapped his hands together.

"Right, let's get this show on the road. I got a truck waiting outside to take Nadia's stuff over to her new place, then we'll go over to Jay's and bring his stuff back here," Kevin said and they all nodded their agreement and set about gathering Nadia's belongings.

* * *

Hours later, Erin closed her apartment door as she waved the guys down the hall. It was early evening, and they had just finished moving Nadia out and Jay into her apartment. They'd put most of his bedroom furniture in Nadia's old room, and the rest of his furniture had been moved into storage. Erin turned to take in the apartment. Boxes were stacked everywhere, and she was having serious doubts about where everything was going to fit.

"I never realised how much stuff you have," Erin said as she crossed the room to collapse on the couch next to Jay.

He turned to look at her, grinning. "Well get used to it baby, cause I'm here to stay," he said, putting an arm around her shoulders.

He felt her stiffen and pull away slightly.

"What is it?" he asked, concern filling his head as his eyes raked over Erin's face. Was she regretting this already?

Erin dodged his stare, her eyes travelling over the boxes again.

She shrugged, looking down at her hands. "Do you ever think we should talk about where this is going?" she asked, butterflies in her stomach.

Jay stared at her.

"I guess," he replied, shocked that Erin had brought this subject up. He knew Erin's fear of commitment and so hadn't wanted to scare her by talking about their future. But now here she was, wanting to talk about it.

He shifted his position so he was facing her, his arm resting on the back of the couch.

Erin sighed before continuing. "I mean, we're living together now… and, I just… I don't know what you expect to happen next." She looked up at him, her eyes searching his.

Jay reached and took her hand in his.

"Erin," he smiled at her, "I'm not expecting anything, okay? We'll just take it one day at a time and see how it goes." His voice was gentle as he rubbed his thumb across the back of her hand.

"But I know you Jay, one day you're gonna want to get married and have kids."

"Yeah, probably," Jay admitted, thinking it was best to be honest right now. "But I'm not thinking about that now, Erin. I'm just enjoying being with you, and if one day we feel ready for something more, then we'll talk about it then. But right now, I'm so happy with this, with us." He squeezed Erin's hand as he reassured her.

Erin saw love radiating from Jay's eyes, and she felt herself relax a little.

"Thank you," she whispered, squeezing his hand back. "I've just never really thought about having a family, y'know. When I was growing up, it never really seemed like a possibility. I mean, all the men my Mom brought home were…" She paused and sighed, wondering how to phrase it. "Well, I didn't know guys like you existed. But now I'm somewhere I thought I'd never be and I love you so much. I guess it just feels weird to realise that I could have all these things I thought I never would."

She offered him a small smile and he pulled her to him.

"Maybe one day," he said softly as she laid her head on his shoulder.

"Maybe one day," she repeated. A smile crept onto her face as she began to open her mind to the possibility of a family with Jay.

"Definitely," she breathed, and Jay's heart leapt.

* * *

 **I hope you enjoyed this chapter :)**

 **As always, please leave a review and let me know what you'd like to happen next!**

 **The next chapter is called 'Too Much Too Young'**


	10. Chapter 10 - Too Much Too Young

**Enjoy this next chapter!**

 **P.S. Who else loved Linstead in last week's episode?! I love that they're finally acting like they're in a relationship, hopefully it'll continue in season 4! :D**

* * *

 **Chapter 10 – Too Much Too Young**

It had been a month since Jay had moved in to Erin's apartment and they were slowly settling into a routine. They had finally finished unpacking all of his boxes, the process having been slowed by their major case load at work. There had been a few surprises along the way. Erin had been astonished at the size of Jay's video game collection and he was shocked at her hoarding of every take-out menu she'd ever ordered from. But other than that, the whole transition had been very smooth.

Erin had also been easing back into work. Voight had initially wanted her to take it easy, so stuck her doing paperwork, much to Erin's annoyance. Thankfully, she was now back to full duty.

The unit was deep in a case at the moment, trying to shut down a child trafficking ring that was dealing with runaway and abandoned children. Erin got a sick feeling in her stomach every time she thought about it. The cases involving kids always hit her hard, but this one in particular was getting to her more than usual.

* * *

Erin sped towards the house, foot pressed hard on the gas pedal before slamming on the brakes. The car screeched to a stop and her and Jay leapt out. They saw the other members of the unit clambering out of their own vehicles. They approached the house, Voight ordering Olinsky and Ruzek to cover the back.

Antonio banged on the front door yelling, "Chicago PD, open up!"

They waited.

The door didn't open.

They hadn't expected it to.

Their investigation into the child trafficking ring had led them to this house. It belonged to an older married couple who had bought an 11 year old girl from the leaders of the ring two weeks ago. After some poking around, they'd found that the couple were also keeping three other children whose pictures matched images from multiple child pornography sites.

Voight gave the signal to Atwater and he broke the door down.

They pushed forward into the house.

Erin and Jay peeled off from the others and entered the kitchen.

"Clear!" Erin yelled and Jay signalled to a cupboard door. They pulled the door open and a narrow staircase was revealed, leading to a dark basement. They crept down the stairs, trying to prepare themselves for what they might find. They heard the footsteps of the others close behind them.

The basement came into sight. A dirty old couch was pressed against the wall closest to them, a camera on a tripod aimed towards it.

Erin's eyes fell upon three children huddled in the far corner. Two girls and a boy. The older girl seemed to be around 12 or 13, the other looked to be about eight. The boy couldn't have been more than six years old.

Erin approached them slowly.

"You're okay now, we're the police, we're here to help you," she said in a soft voice as she crouched down in front of them.

They stared back at her. Erin's heart broke as she got a closer look at them. They didn't look as if they'd had a decent meal in months, and their hair and faces were grubby.

"There should be another little girl here," she continued. "Her name is Lucy. Do you know where she is?" Erin's tone was gentle as she looked between the three children.

"She… she's new," the older girl whispered nervously, looking back at Erin. Erin nodded encouragingly and the girl continued. "They brought her back a few weeks ago, but she wouldn't do what they wanted. They hit her pretty hard. We haven't seen her since then."

Erin felt her stomach drop.

"Do you know where they might have taken her?" she pressed on, determination to find the girl coursing through her.

"They… they used to lock me in the bedroom upstairs when I was bad. We used to sleep in there, but not since they took her away" the girl continued, tears filling her eyes.

"Okay, thank you, you've done really well" Erin said comfortingly before motioning to Ruzek and Olinsky. "This is Detective Olinsky and Officer Ruzek, they're going to look after you now, okay?"

She gave the three children one last smile before she turned and hurried back to the staircase.

Erin took the stairs two at a time, Jay right behind her.

They sped up a second staircase and found themselves on a small landing with three doors leading from it. One led to a bathroom, another to the master bedroom. The third door was locked.

Jay kicked the door down and they entered the smallest room. Two sets of bunk-beds were crammed against the walls, but other than that, the room was empty.

Erin stared at the bunk-beds, transported back to her own childhood and another set of bunk-beds in a different cramped room. She remembered how she used to crawl into the tiny gap between the bottom bunk and the floor, and curl up in the tightest ball when she heard Bunny come home with company. She would stay there all night sometimes, Teddy curled up next to her, hoping that no one would come into the room.

Erin dragged herself back to the present day, and crouched down on her hands and knees. She peered under the bed.

A pair of big brown eyes stared back at her. The girl was curled up as tight as she could, her knees under her chin.

"Lucy?" Erin asked softly. The girl nodded slowly.

It took a long time for Erin to coax her out, but once she had, Lucy flung herself into Erin's arms, deciding there and then to trust her. Erin held her tight, soothing her, stroking her long brown hair. She could feel each one of the girl's ribs and wondered when her last meal had been.

The unit knew Lucy's story, having discovered her missing during their investigation. She had taken refuge in a shelter when her mother stopped caring for her, but instead of finding safety there, she'd been put up for sale and sold to the highest bidder.

* * *

Erin laid her head on her desk, exhausted. They had finally closed the investigation into the child trafficking ring, but Erin still felt sick when she thought of it. Lucy had been handed over to child services and she would eventually be placed with a foster family. Erin prayed with all her heart that her foster parents would be decent people. She knew what happened to the unlucky kids who fell through the cracks in the system, and this girl seemed to be on an unlucky streak.

Jay couldn't help but notice Erin's higher than normal investment in the case and he knew she hadn't been sleeping well. He had considered talking to Voight about it once or twice, but ultimately decided against it. Erin would never forgive him for going behind her back.

"First round's on me tonight guys," Antonio called across the bullpen and Ruzek whooped.

They had all planned to have a drink at Molly's after work to celebrate closing the case, but Erin couldn't think of anything she wanted to do less. All she really wanted was to go home with Jay, order take-out, and curl up next to him on the couch. She knew he was worried about her, but she wasn't sure if she had the energy to explain it to him at the moment.

* * *

They had been at Molly's for just over an hour, and although Erin still felt tired, she was surprised to find that the gentle banter between the guys was actually relaxing her a little.

Jay made his way over to the bar and Erin got to her feet to follow him.

"Hey," she said, taking a seat next to him as he ordered their drinks.

He turned to look at her.

"You doing okay?" he asked, noting the dark circles under her eyes.

"Yeah," she replied, seeing the concern covering Jay's face. She knew she owed him an explanation. "It's just… this case… Lucy…"

"It was a tough one," he said as he gently placed his hand over hers on the bar.

Erin gave him a weak smile before continuing.

"It could so easily have been me," she said, looking at their hands.

Jay didn't say anything, but his eyes silently encouraged her to keep talking.

"When I was Lucy's age, I stayed in a shelter for three months. Bunny was…" she trailed off, wondering how best to phrase it. "…Bunny was being Bunny and going home wasn't an option. So I went to a shelter, just like the one Lucy went to. Only, I found safety and comfort there, unlike her."

Jay looked at her. Her hazel eyes stared back at him.

"You never told me you stayed in a shelter," he said, and Erin looked away. He knew this was difficult for her.

"Yeah…" she started.

Jay watched her struggling to find words before saying, "We don't have to talk about it." He wanted more than anything for Erin to confide in him, but knew better than anyone that she couldn't be pushed into it. If Erin felt backed into a corner, her first instinct was to run.

Erin looked back at him, and saw the man that loved her sitting beside her, not judging her. She owed him this, she thought.

"No… That's not the thing, it's not like a bad memory," she began, not quite looking into his eyes. "Um… it was summer," she said, inclining her head slightly. "Air conditioner rattled a lot, it was like, right next to my bed… Bunny forgot my first day of school, so the lady that ran the place, she walked me all the way there. She held my hand the whole way. I actually drove by there a couple weeks ago and I saw her. She was walking another little girl to school."

"Did she recognise you?" Jay asked.

"I don't know, I didn't stop."

Jay studied Erin's face and saw the memories cloud over her darkened eyes. Eyes that had seen too much too young, Jay thought.

He wrapped an arm around her and kissed the top of her head, knowing what she needed right now was comfort and not more words.

They made their excuses to the rest of the unit and headed home.

Jay wrapped his arms tightly around Erin as they laid in bed that night. She let herself melt into his embrace, and for the first time in weeks, fell into a peaceful and dreamless sleep.

* * *

"Erin, seriously, you need to stop using my razor," Jay called from the bathroom to Erin who was searching through her side of the closet.

"But it works so much better than mine," she called back, grinning to herself. It was the same argument they had every morning.

It had been two weeks since they'd closed the case and Erin was feeling much better. A few good night's sleep and confiding in Jay had made all the difference.

Jay entered the bedroom as Erin pulled on her favourite green dress. He crossed the room to stand behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and nuzzling her neck.

"Have I ever told you how good you look in green?" he grinned into her shoulder as he felt her lean back against him.

"Not recently," she grinned back, feeling goose bumps erupt where his stubble tickled her neck.

"Well you do, but I think that dress would look better on the floor." He slowly started to push the straps of her dress down over her shoulders as he continued to suck lightly on her neck.

Erin felt her pulse quicken with excitement, but knew this wasn't an option. "Jay, we don't have time," she moaned as she pulled out of his grip.

"C'mon Erin, ten minutes, I swear!" he begged, reaching to grab her hand, but she was too quick for him.

"Wow, a whole ten minutes! You really know how to make a girl feel special, Detective Halstead," she grinned at him before disappearing into the bathroom.

Jay groaned before moving to the closet, knowing his plans would have to wait. He pulled out a dress shirt that would match his pants and pulled it on.

It was Saturday morning and he and Erin were getting ready for Kim and Adam's engagement party. Adam had popped the question last month, and Kim's parents were having a big celebration at their house just outside the city.

There was a knock on the apartment door.

"I'll get it," Jay called to Erin who was fixing her hair in the bathroom mirror.

Jay crossed the apartment and pulled the door open.

A blonde woman, possibly in her mid-fifties stood before him. Jay had never seen her before, but knew immediately who she was. He would know those eyes anywhere.

"I'm looking for Erin Lindsay," the woman said, peering into the apartment. Jay didn't move, but continued to stare down at the woman.

"Jay, who is it?" he heard Erin call from the other room.

Before Jay could reply, the woman called out, "Erin?"

Erin froze in the doorway to the bedroom and stared at the apartment door, blood drained from her face.

"Bunny…"

* * *

 **I hope you enjoyed this chapter, please remember to review!**

 **The next chapter is called 'Bunny'**


	11. Chapter 11 - Bunny

**Hello everyone! Firstly, there's a little bit of background information before you read this chapter.**

 **I'm writing this story as if the unit never went to New York and found Teddy, meaning Erin hasn't seen him since they were kids and she and doesn't know where he is. I'm not planning on introducing Teddy any time soon as I don't really have a need for him. Also, I'm writing as though this is the first time Erin has seen Bunny in a few years.**

 **I had a lot of suggestions saying Bunny should flirt with Jay, and Erin should get jealous! I hope those people aren't too disappointed with this chapter, but that's not how I saw this meeting going!**

 **Enjoy...**

* * *

 **Chapter 11 – Bunny**

"Bunny…"

Erin stood transfixed in the bedroom doorway, a dull buzzing filling her head.

"Erin," Bunny called to her, looking over Jay's arm which was blocking her entry into the apartment.

Erin crossed the room to stand beside Jay, her arms folded over her chest.

"Oh honey, you look gorgeous," Bunny complimented her as she took in Erin's lightly curled hair and flowing green dress.

"What're you doing here?" Erin asked, her tone cold and indifferent.

Bunny's smile faltered for a second before she replied, "Can't a mother visit her daughter?"

"It's been two years Mom," Erin told her, knowing Bunny never just turned up because she wanted to see her.

"I heard you'd been shot," Bunny tried again, painting an expression of concern across her face.

"That was months ago," Erin replied, still not buying it.

"Yes, well, since nobody thought to call me, you can't blame me for being a little late."

Erin rolled her eyes in disbelief. Was Bunny actually serious?

"Well aren't you going to invite me in?" Bunny asked when Erin didn't reply.

Erin looked at her before moving silently away from the door. Jay stepped aside too, allowing Bunny to enter the apartment.

Erin had crossed the room to stand in front of the big windows that overlooked the city.

"What do you want Mom?" she said bluntly, wanting Bunny to leave as quickly as possible.

"I told you, I was worried about you," Bunny said from her position behind the couch.

Jay had moved over to stand beside Erin, ready to support her if she needed it.

"Yeah, well you're about thirty years too late to play the concerned parent," Erin said, determined not to swallow any of Bunny's crap.

"Oh not this again," Bunny said as she rolled her eyes. "Erin, I was sick. It wasn't my fault."

Erin exhaled in disbelief and turned away, unable to stand the sight of Bunny any longer.

"Besides," Bunny continued, "You turned out alright."

Erin flew around to stare at Bunny.

"Yeah, I turned out alright," she repeated. Her voice was low but no one could miss the anger coursing through every word.

"You had Hank Voight looking out for you! You were always going to be fine!" Bunny continued, her own anger building. This was not the welcome she had been hoping for.

"He shouldn't have had to look out for me!" Erin cried, her frustration at her mother getting the better of her. "Where were you Mom?! Where were you when Teddy and I were crying for food?! Where were you when the heat was shut off and we were freezing?! You were supposed to be there!"

A lifetimes worth of anger and disappointment was flooding through Erin as she stared at the blonde woman in front of her.

"I had a problem Erin! Besides, you have no right to talk to me like that! I am your mother!" Bunny was yelling now too and she stomped her foot on the last word like an angry toddler throwing a tantrum.

Erin strode across the room and pulled the door open.

"I think you gave up the right to call yourself my mother a long time ago," Erin said calmly. The rage had left her voice. Instead, it was filled with icy fury.

Bunny's eyes flicked between Erin and the open door, but she remained where she was.

"I think you should leave," Jay said to Bunny, speaking for the first time as he took a step forward.

Bunny turned to face Jay instead.

"Oh, you think I should leave!" she cried. "And who are you exactly?!"

Erin opened her mouth to yell at her mother again, but Jay answered before she could make a sound.

"I'm Detective Jay Halstead. I live here too and I think you've outstayed your welcome." His voice was very calm, but there was no mistaking the authority in it.

Bunny looked between Erin and Jay before she eventually stalked over to the open door. She stopped as she stepped into the hall and turned to look at Erin, her eyes narrowed into vicious slits.

"You'll never be able to lose where you came from Erin. It's part of you. I'm part of you. You can play happy families all you like," she said, motioning to Jay, "But we both know who you really are and where you'll end up. You wait, one of these day's you'll open your eyes and see Hank Voight has been pulling your strings the whole time, and you'll come crawling back to me, begging for forgiveness."

Erin stared at her Mother, resentment and disbelief clouding her vision as she listened to the venom spill out of Bunny's mouth.

"Believe me Mom, I'm not the one who needs forgiveness," she said in an icy voice before she slammed the door shut.

She heard Bunny's retreating footsteps down the hall as she laid her forehead on the door, breathing hard.

Jay crossed the room in a few steps and pulled Erin into a tight embrace. He could feel her shaking in his arms. He wasn't sure if it was with anger or shock, or maybe both, but he continued to hold her.

"So that was Bunny," he eventually said when it became clear that Erin wasn't going to speak first.

"That was Bunny," Erin breathed into his chest, grateful for his strong arms around her.

* * *

An hour later, Erin and Jay were pulling up to Kim's parents' house for the engagement party, trying to find a place to park. They were running late thanks to Bunny's unscheduled visit.

Erin had been very quiet on the car ride over and had even allowed Jay to drive. Jay had tried to make light conversation to distract her from the events of the morning, but Erin had been reluctant to join in, merely nodding or shaking her head as Jay talked to her.

As Jay put the car in park, Erin turned to look at him, catching his eye.

"Jay… about Bunny… I'm sorry," she said in a quiet voice as her hands twisted in her lap.

"Hey," Jay said, holding her gaze and reaching out a hand to grasp her fidgeting fingers. "You don't ever need to apologise for her. You have done nothing wrong." He gave her hands a reassuring squeeze and flashed her a small smile.

He made to get out of the car, but Erin held tight onto his hand. He looked back at her.

"Thank you Jay," she whispered.

Jay studied her face, taking in the worry and anxiety that had settled in her eyes since Bunny turned up.

"What for?" he questioned, wondering what he'd done to warrant a thank you.

"For being there, standing by me." She shrugged slightly. "You've just seen what I might turn into, I wouldn't blame you if you felt like running a million miles right now." Her eyes were glazed with unshed tears as she spoke. Jay hated the effect Bunny's appearance had had on her, making her feel as helpless as the child she used to be.

"Erin, you are not your mother. You will never be her." She offered him a small smile as his words reassured her. He leaned over and took her face in both of his hands. "And I'm not going anywhere, okay? So you don't have to worry about me. I'm here to stay." He placed a light kiss on her forehead and he felt her relax a little.

"Okay," she whispered, comforted by Jay's words.

"Now come on, we've got a party to get to," Jay grinned and they both climbed out of the car.

They walked up the path to the big house, Erin slipping her arm through Jay's so they were linked.

She smiled up at him and said, "You know, I think it's time I met more of your family."

Jay looked down at her, surprised at her suggestion.

"Okay, well, you already know Will," Jay began as they climbed the front steps onto the porch. "So unless you're counting my whole extended family, there's only my Dad really…"

"What's he like?" Erin questioned, eager to learn more about Jay. She knew his mother had died a number of years ago, but other than that, she knew relatively little about his family.

Jay's face momentarily clouded over and Erin was unable to read his expression.

Jay chose his next words carefully.

"Well, he's no Bunny, but he's not exactly a walk in the park either."

"How d'you mean?" Erin questioned as she rang the doorbell.

Jay thought for a moment, wondering how best to describe his relationship with his father.

"Let's just say he wasn't exactly approving of my career choice when I signed up for active duty."

Just then, the front door of the house swung open and their conversation was cut short. Erin was lost in thought as they were shown through the house and into the back yard where the party was being held. How, in all the years of her and Jay being partners, had she not known of his father's disapproval?

* * *

Erin was standing alone in the garden of Kim's parents' house. She and Jay had mingled with the other guests for a while, congratulating Kim and Adam and making polite small talk, but Erin's mind was elsewhere. She'd broken off from the main party and wandered to the end of the garden when Jay went to get them fresh drinks. She stood staring down at a big rose bush, thinking about Bunny and what Jay had said about his father, wondering why families had to be so complicated.

"Smile kiddo, it's a party."

The familiar rough voice of Hank Voight reached Erin's ears and she looked up to see him walking towards her. She offered him a small smile, knowing he would see right through it.

"What's up?" he asked as he reached her, his hands in his pockets.

She stared into the distance, chewing the inside of her mouth.

"Bunny showed up this morning," she said, deciding to confide in Hank.

Anger and disapproval flashed across Hank's face before his features settled into a worried expression. He reached out and placed a hand on her arm.

"Are you okay?" he asked, fatherly concern coating his words.

"Yeah, I'm…"

She wanted to tell him she was fine, but couldn't quite make the words come out. Hank rubbed her arm comfortingly.

"She just… she was rude to Jay and said some really nasty things," Erin confided, shivering slightly even though the day was warm. "Typical Bunny really."

"Don't let her inside your head Erin," Hank warned her, knowing the effect Bunny could have.

"I know, I know…" Erin reassured him. "She knows how to get to me, that's all."

Erin turned as she saw Jay walking towards them, a bottle of beer and large glass of wine in his hands.

"Sorry I took so long, I got talking to Herrmann and Mouch," he said as he handed Erin the wine glass.

"I heard you had an unexpected visitor this morning," Hank said to Jay as they shook hands.

"Uh, yeah," Jay said as he raised the beer bottle to his mouth. "I finally had the pleasure of meeting Bunny."

Just then, Kim came scurrying up to Erin and pulled on her arm.

"Sorry guys, I need to borrow this one," she said to Jay and Hank before turning back to Erin. "My sister's just turned up and I want to introduce her to you and Nadia. You're going to be spending a lot of time together as my bridesmaids!"

She tugged on Erin's arm and Erin let Kim lead her away, leaving Jay and Hank standing alone.

Hank's eyes followed Erin as she made her way back up to the house.

"How's she doing?" Hank asked Jay.

"She hasn't said much," Jay replied, knowing Hank's concern.

Hank sighed, rubbing his hand over his chin. "Yeah, well, Erin can take a lot, but Bunny's always had a way of getting under her skin."

"Yeah, I saw earlier," Jay said, remembering the effect Bunny's appearance had had on Erin.

"Did Bunny say what she wanted?" Hank asked as he watched Erin in the distance.

"She said she heard about the shooting and was worried," Jay informed him, his tone making it clear he didn't believe the story.

"Bunny never does anything unless there's something in it for her," Hank said, more to himself than to Jay.

Hank lost himself in thought, wondering why Bunny had suddenly reappeared. He silently came to the conclusion that this wouldn't be the last time Bunny showed up.

* * *

 **I hope you enjoyed this chapter - please review!**

 **The next chapter is called 'Such a Disappointment'**


	12. Chapter 12 - Such a Disappointment

**Hello! Thank you so much for all the follows and reviews - I really appreciate it!**

* * *

 **Chapter 12 – Such a Disappointment**

"Okay, so Adam and I have decided we don't want to do the whole long engagement thing," Kim said as she reached for her coffee cup.

It was a Saturday morning, and Kim had invited Erin and Nadia out for coffee to start planning her wedding. Kim's sister was also supposed to be joining them, but had just texted to say she was stuck in traffic.

"So," Kim continued, "We were thinking of a fall wedding, sometime in late September maybe. That only gives us four and a half months to get everything organised."

Kim reached down to a big bag by her feet and pulled out a large folder.

"I've already started gathering some ideas for inspiration," she rambled on, pointing to pictures of flowers and table decorations.

Erin exchanged a quick glance with Nadia, wondering how on earth everything was going to be organised in four and a half months.

"Of course, we haven't ruled out a destination wedding, you know, I've always thought Hawaii would be nice," Kim finished and looked expectantly at Erin and Nadia.

They offered her weak smiles and she beamed back at them.

* * *

While Erin was out at coffee, Jay was at Will's new apartment helping him put together some bookshelves.

"What's so funny?" Will called as he saw Jay grinning down at his phone.

"Erin," Jay told him, chuckling slightly as he typed out a reply. "She says Kim's turned into bridezilla."

"You won't be laughing like that when Erin turns into a control freak over your wedding," Will teased as he twisted a screw into place.

"Don't let Erin hear you say that," Jay warned as he pulled a bottle of water from the refrigerator and took a sip.

"Say what? The part about her being a control freak or the part about you two getting hitched?"

"Both," Jay replied, seeing the familiar mischievous grin on Will's face.

"Come on Jay! You live together, you spend practically every second together, surely you're gonna ask her soon?!"

"No, I'm not," Jay informed him, shaking his head at his brother's raised eyebrows.

Will frowned with confusion. "What? You're saying you don't want to marry her? Jay, I've never seen you like this over a girl before, you're crazy about her!"

Jay took a deep breath and sighed. "I'm not saying I don't want to marry her! Believe me, I'd like nothing more, but Erin's complicated, y'know. We've talked about it, and we're just taking things as they come at the moment."

Will held his hands up in mock surrender. "Whatever you say man," he said as he shook his head.

"She did say she'd like to meet more of my family, so I guess that's the next thing," Jay said absent mindedly, moving the conversation along.

"Well of course she does!" Will cried, his grin back in place. "I mean, knowing how awesome I am, she must be wondering what the rest of the Halstead's are like!"

Jay rolled his eyes as they lifted the first completed bookshelf into place.

Will's face became serious as he stepped back to look at Jay. Jay turned, seeing his brother clearly struggling to say something.

"What?" Jay questioned.

"I, uh… I was talking to Dad the other day," Will began, and he saw Jay's face cloud over at the mention of their father. "He's coming into the city next week for a conference and we're gonna grab dinner. You should come, bring Erin."

Will looked at Jay hesitantly, unsure about how he was going to react.

Jay sighed.

"It's been over a year, Will. He doesn't want to see me."

"He does!" Will insisted. "He's just too proud to…"

"To what? To admit he was wrong!?" Jay shook his head, knowing his father would rather do anything but that. "Seriously Will, it's the same every time. He always has to make some dig about me and I'm sick of it."

Will knew his father could be cruel, but had never experienced it like Jay. Growing up, Jay had always been the one to stand up to their father while he stood by and did what he was told. Will paused before trying again.

"Jay, please. Mom always hated to see you two arguing," he tried to reason, thinking the mention of their mother might make Jay see sense.

Jay sighed deeply again. His mother's death had hit him hard and he had never quite forgiven Will for not coming back for her funeral. He thought of a biting comeback to throw at Will, but swallowed it, not wanting to fall out with him too. He knew Will had his reasons for not coming back, but it still hurt.

He took another sip of water before saying slowly, "Alright, I'll ask Erin."

* * *

Erin let herself into the apartment and dropped her keys in the bowl beside the door. Jay turned to look at her from where he was sitting on the couch.

"Hey, how's Bridezilla?" he asked, pausing the game he was watching.

"Ugh," Erin replied as she dumped the stack of wedding magazines Kim had given her on the kitchen counter. "She's already got me calling caterers and flower suppliers for prices."

Erin toed off her shoes and made her way to the couch. She flopped down and scooted closer to Jay. She rested her head on his shoulder and sighed.

"Who new wedding planning could be so exhausting."

They sat quietly for a moment before Jay turned his head slightly to look at her. "Hey, I wanted to talk to you about something," he said.

Erin lifted her head off his shoulder saying, "Yeah?"

"Yeah," he said, turning his body to face her better. "Um… Will said he's having dinner with our Dad next week, and he asked if we'd like to join them. What d'you think?"

Jay held his breath as he waited for Erin's response.

She smiled at him, putting his nerves at rest.

"I would love to meet your Dad," she told him and a smile broke over his face too. But there was something nagging in the back of Erin's mind. "But if I'm going to meet him, you're gonna have to tell me what exactly went down between you two." Erin had been thinking about the subject since Kim and Adam's engagement party, but hadn't had the nerve to bring it up until now.

"Honestly, there's not much to tell," Jay said as he lightly rubbed Erin's thigh. "My Dad wanted me to follow him and Will to medical school, but I told him it wasn't for me and signed up for the Rangers. Things haven't been right since then."

Jay's eyes were dark as he remembered his past, and Erin snuggled closer to him, providing the comfort he needed.

* * *

It was Friday night, and Erin, Jay and Will were sitting in a fancy restaurant, waiting. Erin could tell Jay was on edge, and she was nervous too. She really wanted to make a good impression tonight. She watched Jay drain his scotch glass of the amber liquid and motion to the waiter for a refill.

"Jay slow down," she told him. "We've got the rest of the night to get through."

"Believe me, Erin, I'm gonna need it," he said as he saw his father making his way towards their table.

They all got to their feet and Will warmly greeted the older man, smiling. As Will moved aside, Jay met his father's eyes.

"Dad," he said shortly, nodding once.

"Jay," his father replied as they briefly grasped hands.

Jay moved over to where Erin was standing and placed a gentle hand on her back.

"Dad, this is Erin."

Erin smiled warmly saying, "It's nice to meet you Dr Halstead."

Jay's father looked her up and down before smiling back. "It's nice to meet you too," he said, lightly taking her hand in his. "And please, call me Malcolm."

Erin took in Malcolm's appearance. He was wearing a very expensive suit and looked a lot like Will, except that his hair was lightly flecked with grey and his skin was lined. Jay must get his piercing blue eyes from his mother, she thought.

They all took their seats and a waiter provided them with menus. Will and Malcolm made light conversation, talking about the medical convention the older man had attended earlier that day. Erin and Jay mostly listened, offering their opinions when the conversation called for it. Jay and his father were perfectly civil to each other, but there was no denying the awkwardness in their exchanges.

The waiter's delivered their first courses, and Malcolm turned his attention to Erin.

"So Erin, tell me, what do you do for a living?" he said as he raised his fork to his mouth.

"Oh," Erin looked up, momentarily surprised at her inclusion into the conversation. "I'm a detective in intelligence with Jay. We're partners actually."

"Really?" Malcolm replied, raising his eyebrows slightly.

"Yeah, Dad. Erin's saved my ass more times than I can count," Jay told him, knowing his father's disapproval of women in powerful jobs. Malcolm thought a woman's place was at home raising children and cooking dinner.

Malcolm simply nodded and said nothing as he took another bite.

"Yeah, so you guys were partners for a couple of years before you started dating, right?" Will asked, not sure of the finer details of their relationship having still been in New York when they first got together.

"That's right," Erin confirmed, smiling at him. "We actually kept it a secret for ages."

Will looked up in surprise. "Really?" he asked and Erin nodded. "Why?"

Erin glanced at Jay quickly, before answering. "Our, um, sergeant made it clear that he didn't exactly approve of in house romances, but he came around eventually." She grinned at Jay, still wondering what exactly he had said when she'd been shot to convince Voight about them. Jay grinned back, knowing what she was thinking.

Malcolm looked up from his food to look between Erin and Jay as he said, "So, Jay received a direct order from his superior, but went ahead and did whatever he wanted anyway. Careful son, you're developing a pattern."

The atmosphere around the table changed instantly, tension filling the air. Jay kept his eyes on his plate as he set his cutlery down. Erin and Will looked nervously between Jay and his father, wondering what was going to happen. Jay eventually looked up and spoke.

"So, we couldn't even make it to the main course." His voice was calm, but his eyes were burning as he addressed the older man.

Will tried to diffuse the tension as he said, "Jay, I'm sure Dad didn't mean…"

"Don't!" Jay cut him off, holding a hand up. "Don't make excuses for him." Jay turned his attention back to his father. "Seriously Dad, can't we just stop with the offhand comments. Just say what you want to say."

Malcolm met Jay's stare as he raised his head. "Alright, I'll say what I want to say." His voice was icy as he addressed his son. "I gave you everything. You and your brother never wanted for anything, and I asked only one thing of you, for you to follow in my footsteps. But of course, you always had to do things your own way. And now look at you. You're some underpaid cop who could've had everything if he'd just done what I said."

Jay felt anger building inside him at his father's words. He knew it was what his father had always thought, but it hurt much worse to actually hear it said out loud.

"Y'know, I'm sorry I disappointed you Dad, but if I had the choice, I'd do it all over again." Jay held his father's stare, determined not to look away. "I am proud to have served my country, and I'm proud to protect the streets of Chicago every day. And sure, I might not earn as much as you or Will, but not everything is about money Dad. Some things are more important. And if I'd gone to med school, become a doctor, I would never have met Erin, and she's the best thing that's ever happened to me."

Erin thought her heart might just burst out of her chest at Jay's words, she loved him so much. She reached out and grasped his hand, squeezing it gently in support.

Malcolm looked at the wordless exchange between Erin and Jay, the displeasure evident in his eyes.

"Oh yes, your life has turned out great," he said, sarcasm dripping off his words. "You spend your days issuing parking tickets and will end up married to a woman in a cheap dress who will put her career before your children." He looked over at Erin, and she felt his disapproval wash over her.

Jay stood up, fury burning in his eyes. "You know what, I think we're done here."

He reached for his wallet, pulling a handful of cash out. He dropped the cash in front of his father saying, "Let me pay for dinner, I think I can stretch to it on my underpaid cop salary."

He pulled his jacket from the back of his chair and helped Erin to her feet.

"Jay come on, just stay for the meal," Will begged, but Jay interrupted him.

"No Will. He can say what he likes about me, but I am not going to sit here while he insults the woman I love."

"Jay, please…" Will began but was interrupted again.

"Let him go Will, your brother always did do things his own way," said Malcolm.

Jay placed a hand on Erin's back saying, "Come on, we don't have to listen to this." They turned to leave, but Malcolm raised his voice again.

"You know, I don't know where I went wrong. What did I do to deserve such a disappointment?"

Jay met his father's gaze, his eyes burning and his words icy as he said, "The feeling's mutual Dad."

With that, he took Erin's hand and led her out of the restaurant, not looking back at his father.

* * *

Jay and Erin sat in the parking lot of the restaurant. Erin could hear Jay breathing hard as he tried to control his temper. She placed her hand on his arm, gently rubbing up and down comfortingly.

"Are you alright?" she said after a while, moving her hand off his arm to grasp his hand.

Jay sighed, running his free hand across the back of his neck, calmed by her touch.

"I don't know what I expected," he said, meeting her concerned eyes. "It's the same every time, I don't know why I thought this would be any different."

Erin moved her hand to the side of his face and gently stroked her thumb across his cheek. "Because you're a good man, Jay. And you want to believe the best in people." She leaned forwards and placed a tender kiss on his lips. "Come on, let's get outta here," she said softly and she directed the car towards the exit.

* * *

 **I hope you enjoyed this chapter :)**

 **The show hasn't gone into much detail about Jay's father, so I improvised a bit to add some drama!**

 **The next chapter is called 'What Happens In Vegas'**

 **I'm not sure when I'll be able to post the next chapter as I'm on a field trip in Greece next week, and I don't know what the internet will be like. Hopefully, I'll be able to post it, but if not, it'll be up as soon as I get home!**


	13. Chapter 13 - What Happens In Vegas

**Hello! I'm so sorry I didn't post this last week, I was on a field course in Greece and didn't have any time to spare!**

 **This is a slightly longer chapter - I hope you enjoy :)**

* * *

 **Chapter 13 – What happens in Vegas**

Two months had passed since Erin and Jay's disastrous dinner with his father. They had discussed it a couple of times, Jay joking the last time that neither of their parents would be winning any awards for their parenting skills.

They hadn't heard from either Bunny or Malcolm since their last meetings and neither of them were particularly bothered about it. Will had tried to convince Jay to call their father, but Jay had refused point blank. As for Bunny, Erin had no idea where she'd disappeared to and she had no intention of finding out.

They had been kept busy at work, trying to bring down a money laundering operation. The trail had gone cold a couple of weeks ago and they'd assumed the mastermind behind the set-up, a man called Bill Gomez, had moved away from Chicago, knowing they were closing in on him. There had been no new leads until that morning, when Voight received a call from the Las Vegas police department. It appeared that Gomez had resurfaced in Vegas and was now running his money through the casinos there.

Voight had ordered Jay and Antonio to go and join the detectives in Vegas and bring them up to speed with everything they knew about Gomez. They were booked onto a flight for the next morning. Erin had been annoyed when Voight didn't send her with Jay, but knew better than to question him. She didn't want him thinking she was acting with anything other than professional concern.

"Have you seen my phone charger?" Jay called to Erin from the side of the bed as he rummaged through his drawer.

"Here," she said, entering the bedroom holding the cable out.

He took it from her saying, "Thanks." He rolled it up and placed it in the duffel bag lying open on the bed.

Erin plopped down on the bed as Jay moved the bag to the floor. She looked up at him, her eyes wide as she gave him a puppy-dog expression.

"Don't give me that look," Jay said to her, grinning. She knew he could never resist her when she made that face.

"I just don't want you to leave," she pouted, her big eyes staring up at him.

"It won't be for long, I'll be back before you know it."

"I know," she said, still pouting. "I just wish I could come with you." She knelt up and moved to the side of the bed, reaching out a hand to Jay. Jay moved over to her and she pressed her body up against his as she draped her arms around his neck. "I'm gonna miss you is all," she said quietly, looking into his eyes.

"I'm gonna miss you too," he said back, leaning his head down so his lips met hers.

She eventually broke their long, soft kiss to say, "I've given Antonio strict instructions to make sure you behave yourself. Make sure you don't do a Severide and come back married or something."

He grinned down mischievously at her before saying in a teasing voice, "You know the rule, what happens in Vegas…"

She shot him her own playful grin, entwining her fingers in his short hair. "Well then, I think I'd better remind you what a fool you'd be to risk this."

Her hands moved from his hair to grasp at his t-shirt and she tugged it over his head. It fell to the floor as she sucked lightly on his neck, her hands roaming over his bare chest.

Jay moaned at the pleasure she was causing him, reaching out to grasp her waist, needing to touch some part of her.

"Erin, you have nothing to worry about," he gasped.

She removed her lips from his neck and whispered, "I know," into his ear. She moved her head down his body, leaving a trail of open mouthed kisses over his chest and stomach, knowing it was driving him crazy. Her lips finally reached the top of his jeans and she moved her hands to unfasten his belt buckle.

* * *

Erin looked down at her phone. 12:45am. She'd spent the evening watching Dance Moms on repeat. It was one of her guilty pleasures, and with Jay being away, she was making the most of being able to watch it without his complaining. Although, she had a sneaking suspicion that he was just as hooked as she was.

She got up from the couch and switched the TV off. She placed the long list of tasks Kim had given her to do for the wedding on the coffee table and made her way to the bedroom. She got ready for bed, pulling on one of Jay's t-shirts, breathing in his scent that lingered on it. Erin pulled back the covers and crawled into bed. It felt cold and empty without Jay next to her and she knew sleep wouldn't come easily to her tonight, even though she felt exhausted.

Jay had left for Vegas that morning and Erin was already counting the hours until he returned. This was the first night they'd spent apart since he'd moved in, and the time he'd be away for would probably be the longest they'd been apart since they'd started dating. Even before Jay moved in, she'd had Nadia, so this was the first night that she'd been truly alone in a very long time.

She rolled over so she was lying on his side of the bed, and let her mind wander. She wondered what Jay was doing right now. She laid there for a long time, lost in her thoughts, sleep evading her.

She was jolted back to reality by a buzzing coming from her bedside table. She reached over and squinted at her bright phone screen. She saw Jay's name flash up, telling her he was trying to FaceTime her. She reached over and turned on the lamp before answering the call, holding the phone out in front of her face.

Jay's face appeared on the screen and Erin's heart leapt at the sight of him.

"Hey," he said, a smile breaking over his face.

"Hey," she replied sleepily. "You know it's the middle of the night here, right?" Her voice was strained with tiredness.

"I know," he said, smiling at her raspy voice. "And I'm sorry, I just wanted to see your face and hear your voice before I go to sleep. I miss you."

Erin felt a wave of warmth and happiness spread over her at his words.

"I miss you too," she told him softly, rolling over onto her stomach and squashing her pillow under her. She saw Jay smile as she tried to stifle a yawn. He loved it when she yawned, her nose always scrunched up and even though she hated it, he found it adorable.

"I'm sorry I woke you," he apologised, knowing it had been a busy day.

"I wasn't asleep," she said, laying her head on her bent arm.

Erin watched as Jay's forehead crinkled with concern. "Why not? It's like, 2am in Chicago, is everything okay?"

"Everything's fine Jay," she reassured him. "The bed just feels too big without you."

"I'll remind you of that when you're kicking me to back onto my own side in a couple nights time," he teased her and she grinned tiredly at him. "I'll be home soon," he told her comfortingly and she closed her eyes momentarily. "Get some sleep Erin, I'll call again tomorrow."

"Okay," she whispered, feeling exhaustion wash over her.

"Love you," Jay said, watching as Erin's eyelids drooped again.

"Love you," she breathed back, opening her eyes to get one last look at Jay's face before he hung up.

She set her phone back down on the bedside table and reached to turn off the lamp. The room was filled with darkness again as Erin closed her eyes. She was asleep in seconds, soothed by the short conversation with Jay.

* * *

Erin woke up early the next morning and felt a pang of longing for the man that usually slept next to her. She looked over at the empty bed and sighed. Just a few more nights, she told herself, willing the investigation to hurry up so Jay could come home.

Erin had always prided herself on her independence, but there was just something about being apart from Jay that made her feel incomplete. It was as if she was missing a part of herself. She had got so used to him being there that it felt strange when he wasn't. They just seemed to fit each other perfectly. Like they were two parts of one whole, rather than two separate beings.

She laid on her back, staring up at the ceiling, deep in thought. She was slowly coming to the realisation that she didn't ever want to be apart from Jay again. That she wanted to wake up next to him every day for the rest of her life. There was no "maybe one day" about it. This was what she wanted. Him forever. Definitely.

She smiled, realising that the thought didn't scare her at all. In fact, she felt a flutter of excitement at the idea of the future they could have. Deep down, she thought she'd always known her and Jay would end up together, but it had taken his going away for her to realise that it was what she desperately longed for.

* * *

Erin struggled through the apartment door, her arms full with the large pizza box. Out of the two of them, Jay was the chef, so Erin had been living on take-out food since he'd left three days ago. She kicked the door closed behind her and slid the pizza box onto the counter. She decided to change into something more comfortable before she took up her usual evening position on the couch.

She emerged from the bedroom with her hair scraped back into a messy ponytail and wearing her favourite sweatpants with one of Jay's t-shirts. She had just settled herself on the couch and was about to take her first bite of pizza, when there was a knock on the door. She paused, the pizza halfway to her mouth. The knocking came again. Erin replaced the pizza and heaved herself to her feet. She crossed the apartment and pulled the door open.

She felt shock mingling with curiosity as her eyes fell on the person before her. Jay's father stood in the doorway, his eyes, so much like Will's, scanning her as she tried to engage her brain and think of some words to say. Why did she have to look such a mess right now? Erin wasn't usually one to worry about what people thought of her, but imagined Jay's father probably wouldn't appreciate her sloppy attire, and Erin really didn't want to add to the tension between them.

"Dr Halstead," she said, painting a smile on her face. "Umm… Jay's not here right now."

"Oh… Will he be back soon?" Malcolm asked. His demeanour was completely different to the last time Erin had seen him. He seemed nervous, even unsure of himself. It was a world away from the seemingly untouchable doctor that Erin had met a few months ago.

"Not tonight I'm afraid. He's in Las Vegas helping with a case," Erin informed him, offering a small apologetic smile.

"Oh… Well, I'd actually like to talk to you too," Malcolm said after a slight hesitation, and Erin felt a flutter of nerves, wondering what he could want with her.

"Okay, um, come in then." Erin stood aside and Malcolm entered the apartment. He took in Erin's obviously just vacated seat on the couch and open pizza box, as Erin closed the door and moved to stand behind the couch, hugging herself.

"It appears I've interrupted your dinner," he said, gesturing to the pizza.

"It's not a problem," Erin reassured him.

He moved to the wooden bookshelves that framed either side of the television set and examined the various books, photos and knick-knacks that Erin and Jay had on display.

"Hmm," he gave a sad little chuckle as he removed a framed photo from one of the shelves. "My father," he said, holding the photo up so Erin could see.

Erin recognised it as one of Jay's favourites. It showed an older man with Jay's characteristic grin standing with his arm around a ten year old Jay, who was also grinning widely. They were both holding fishing poles and there were mountains and a lake in the background.

"Jay reminds me of him a lot," Malcolm said, replacing the picture. "Stubborn, strong-minded, and a damn good fisher."

Erin smiled. Jay had told her his grandfather had spent one summer teaching him everything he knew about fishing, hunting, and the outdoors in general.

"He always said I was too hard on the boys when they were growing up," Malcolm continued. "But I only ever wanted the best for them. But I can see now that what I thought was best for Jay, might not've been the right path for him."

Erin stood still, stunned into silence. Whatever she had been expecting Malcolm to say, it wasn't this. She wondered what had triggered his complete attitude turnaround.

"I came here this evening to try to rebuild my relationship with my son. I can see Jay's done pretty well for himself, even with no help from me."

He reached to a higher shelf and removed another picture. "I owe you an apology as well," he said, raising his eyes to look at Erin. "I should never have said what I did at dinner, and I don't blame you for leaving. I never expected Jay to fall for such a strong, confident woman, but it's obvious how happy you make him." He held up the photo in his hand and Erin recognised it as the one of her and Jay on his last birthday. Jay had just blown out his candles and Erin had surprised him by smearing frosting across his face. They were both roaring with laughter as they gazed into each other's eyes.

He replaced the photo as more knocking filled the apartment.

For the second time that night, Erin pulled the door open to feel shock radiating through her. Bunny stood before her, agitatedly fidgeting from one foot to the other and wringing her shaking hands. Erin felt a sinking feeling in her stomach. She had seen this behaviour often enough to know that Bunny was on something, and she'd chosen the absolute worst time to show up.

Erin started to explain that this wasn't a good time, and tried to block her access to the apartment, but Bunny barged straight in without so much as a hello.

"I need cash Erin," Bunny stated as she strode past. She stopped short, noticing Jay's father standing by the bookshelf. She threw Erin a cruel smirk before saying, "Where's Detective Muscles? Traded him in for a better model I see. Or are you charging for your services now? It wouldn't be the first time."

Erin was utterly humiliated. She chanced a quick look at Jay's father and saw he had an expression of embarrassed shock on his face. She looked back at Bunny who had resumed her agitated hand wringing, and Erin could tell she was looking for her next fix.

"You need to leave Mom," Erin said sternly, and she saw Malcolm fidget uncomfortably at the realisation of who Bunny was. She knew this wasn't going to be easy, but figured it was better to get it over with quickly.

"I told you Erin, I need cash!" Bunny cried, and her desperation was pitiful.

"I haven't heard from you for months, Mom," Erin began, but Bunny cut her off.

"You threw me out last time! You threw me out when I needed you! So this is all your fault!"

"How is this my fault?" Erin questioned in disbelief. Malcolm shifted awkwardly, watching the exchange between mother and daughter.

"If you'd just heard me out last time, none of this would've happened!" Bunny cried, becoming more agitated by the second. "I needed your help! I was with a bad guy Erin, and now he's got his claws into me! I need cash!" she pleaded.

Erin refused to feel guilty about Bunny's situation. It was Bunny's inability to say no when a guy offered her a way to numb the world that had got her into this mess, not Erin.

"If I give you cash, it's just gonna go straight in your arm," Erin said matter of factly. Bunny didn't even have the decency to deny it.

"Just two hundred bucks, please Erin!" Bunny begged, but Erin stayed firm.

"No Mom. I'm not a little kid that you can bully into doing what you want anymore. You need help." She crossed to the drawer where she stored her large supply of take-out menus and rummaged around before finding what she was looking for. She held out a small rectangular card to Bunny and said, "This is the name and address of a good rehab centre. Come back when you're clean and maybe we can talk."

Bunny took the card and stared at Erin. "You promise we can talk if I go to this place?"

"If you stick with it, then yes, maybe."

Bunny's eyes lit up. She was like a child being told she could finally have a long wanted for toy.

"I'm going to do it Erin! You just watch, I'm going to do it!"

Erin had heard Bunny promise the same thing too many times before to get her hopes up very high, but was pleased none the less as Bunny made her exit. She was relieved that there hadn't been a bigger scene. Historically, Bunny's drug fuelled visits were a lot more dramatic, so Erin felt she'd gotten of lightly on this occasion.

The door closed behind Bunny, leaving Erin and Malcolm alone again. Malcolm was still hovering awkwardly by the bookshelf.

"So, I take it that was your mother," he finally said.

Erin nodded ashamedly. "I'm sorry you had to see that," she apologised, but Malcolm waved it off.

"It thought you dealt with her rather well," he praised.

"I've had a lot of practice," Erin said under her breath. She knew they were skirting around the elephant in the room. "About what she said about my past," she began hesitantly. "I… I had it rough growing up and I've done things I'm not proud of, but that's not me anymore."

"You don't need to explain it to me," Malcolm interrupted. "I can see you've had it hard, but from what I can tell, you've got your head screwed on right and you're a good person. Jay is lucky to have you."

Erin stared in shock and astonishment. That had been the last thing she was expecting. She'd thought he'd tell her to stay away from Jay, judge her by the past that she tried so hard to keep behind her.

"Thank you," was all she could get out.

Malcolm gave her a quick smile before starting towards the door. "I think I've taken up enough of your time," he said. "When Jay gets back, can you tell him I'd like to talk?"

"Of course," Erin replied, and Malcolm nodded once before following Bunny out the door.

* * *

Erin climbed the stairs to the bullpen and saw she was the first to arrive, apart from Voight who was closeted away in his office as always. She wasn't surprised she was first in, she had been every morning since Jay had left eight days ago. The case wasn't moving as quickly as she had hoped it would, but Jay had assured her when they spoke last night that they were almost ready to make a move on Gomez. She hadn't yet told him about his father's visit, thinking it would be best to have the conversation face to face, so she was extra anxious for him to come home.

The rest of the unit made their way up the stairs over the next thirty minutes and Voight exited his office as the clock struck nine.

"Okay, so, I had a message from Lieutenant Holden in Vegas late last night," he addressed the unit as everyone turned to look at him. "They're planning on making the bust later today and assuming everything goes to plan, Dawson and Halstead will be home tomorrow morning."

Erin felt her heart leap at the news and excitement flooded her at the thought of only being 24 hours away from seeing Jay again. He'd only been gone for just over a week, but it felt like a lifetime to Erin.

She refocussed her attention and continued to listening to Voight.

"Other than this Gomez case, we've got no open investigations, so I want everyone catching up on paperwork today," Voight finished and made his way back into his office.

They all set about gathering up case files and Erin started counting down the hours until she was reunited with Jay.

* * *

The day seemed to drag by. Erin found herself checking the clock every half hour, wishing it was the end of the day already. She'd looked up five minutes ago, thinking it must be nearing four o'clock at least, to find that it was only two-thirty.

Erin sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. She leaned back in her desk chair, stretching, trying to relieve some of the tension that had built up in her shoulders.

"Yo Lindsay, you alright?" Atwater called from his desk as he looked up.

She smiled at his concern. "Yeah, all this paperwork is just giving me a headache."

Atwater nodded, knowing how she was feeling. "Ruzek and I are gonna blow off some steam at the boxing gym later if you wanna join?" he asked, looking over Adam who had just bent down retrieve a dropped pen.

"Hey, she's only invited if she promises not to kick my ass again!" Ruzek called from under his desk. "I've still got the bruises from last time!"

"I'm not promising anything Ruzek," she laughed as Adam reappeared, pulling a face at her.

Just then, Voight pulled his office door open, his expression dark and serious. Everyone turned their attention to him at once and a nervous energy filled the room as they waited for the sergeant to speak, sensing something was off.

"I've just got off the phone with Lieutenant Holden in Vegas," Voight said in his gravelly voice. He turned to look at Erin who felt her heart drop as Voight spoke again. "It's Halstead… there's been an incident."

* * *

 **What's happened to Jay!? I hope you don't mind the cliffhanger too much :) Please review**

 **The next chapter is called 'What The Hell Happened?" - I'm hoping to post it at the usual time, but I'm away again (this time in Portugal), so it all depends on whether I can get Internet! I'll try my best!**


	14. Chapter 14 - What The Hell Happened?

**Hello! Apologies for the long wait! I've been on holiday in Portugal and the WiFi at our villa was awful so I couldn't upload this! I'm home now for the rest of the summer, so I'll be able to do lots more writing and regular uploads from now on :)**

 **Thank you so much for all the reviews - I can't believe I have over 100 now! It's so encouraging to know people are enjoying reading this story as much as I'm enjoying writing it :)**

* * *

 **Chapter 14 - What The Hell Happened?**

"It's Halstead… there's been an incident."

Voight watched as the blood drained out of Erin's face and panic filled her eyes. She could hear her heartbeat pounding in her ears and she felt as if all the air had been sucked from the room as she tried to draw breath.

"Sarge, what's happened?" Ruzek asked, concern evident in his voice.

Voight turned away from Erin to look at the questioning faces of the rest of the unit.

"According to Lieutenant Holden, Halstead, Dawson and the Vegas squad were heading in to make the bust on Gomez when Halstead and two other officers got separated from the rest of the group."

Erin inhaled deeply and let out a long, rattling breath. A dull buzzing had filled her ears. Everything seemed to be moving in slow motion, but at the same time, it all moved too fast.

She found her voice and whispered, "Hank…"

She met his eyes as he turned to look at her again and she silently pleaded for answers. Hank heard the desperation in her voice. It was precisely for situations like these that he didn't like in house romances.

Voight took a deep breath before he delivered the news.

"Gomez is holding Halstead and two officers hostage in the back room of a casino. There's a negotiator on site, but they've already been in there for over two hours." Voight gazed down at Erin, wishing he had something better to tell her. "I've told Holden to keep me in the loop, so as soon as anything happens, we'll know."

Erin felt despair wash over her, knowing there was absolutely nothing she could do to help Jay. Her stomach flip-flopped and twisted into knots as she felt bile rising in her throat. She shot to her feet and strode to the locker room, ignoring everyone's stares.

Panic was clouding her vision as she paced back and forth, her hands on her head. Anger at the bastards who had Jay and annoyance at not being there to help him got the better of her and she slammed her fist into one of the lockers, punching the cold metal repeatedly as hard as she could. She was rewarded with nothing but pain and bruised, bleeding knuckles.

"Damn it," she cursed as she looked down at her cut up hand and felt tears threatening to spill from her eyes. She crossed to the locker room sink and held her throbbing hand under the cold water. She grabbed a few paper towels and dried off before sitting down on one of the benches behind her, leaning back against the cool locker, breathing hard. Her whole body was shaking with fear for Jay and she closed her eyes, silently praying for everything to be okay.

Erin heard the locker room door being pushed open. She knew they must've heard the banging of her punching the locker from the bullpen and wondered who had come to check on her.

She opened her eyes as she felt someone sit down on the bench next to her. Hank was looking back at her, concern creasing his forehead.

"Erin," Hank began, but Erin cut him off.

"What if something happens to him?" It was her deepest fear and came out as barely more than a whisper. Her voice shook as tears filled her eyes. She gazed at Hank, searching his face for answers she knew he didn't have.

Hank took her unbruised hand into both of his and squeezed it tight, trying to offer her some comfort. "You can't think like that Erin," he told her as a single tear rolled down her cheek. "Lieutenant Holden is good police. He'll get Jay out."

"He has to," she told him, desperation leaking out of her. "I don't know what I'd do without him Hank." Two more tears trickled down her face. Hank placed his arm around Erin's shoulders and she laid her head against him. "I love him so much."

"I know Erin, I know." His heart broke for the girl he thought of as his daughter. Right now, Erin wasn't the strong, confident women she'd grown into, but was the small, vulnerable teenager that needed Hank's help. He tried to comfort her as best he could, knowing he was not the man she longed for. "Jay's tough, he knows how to handle himself," Voight reassured her.

They heard the locker room door creak open again and Kim's voice called out softly, "Erin?"

Kim and Nadia rounded the corner and stopped as they saw the tender moment between Erin and Voight.

"Oh, sorry, we didn't mean to interrupt," Nadia said, unsure of whether they should stay.

"You didn't," Hank told her. He squeezed Erin's shoulders before getting to his feet, giving her one last look as he said, "It'll be okay, he'll be okay." He exited the room leaving Erin with the two girls.

Kim and Nadia rushed forward and pulled Erin into a three way hug, offering her all their support.

Ten minutes later, Erin had composed herself and the three women made their way out of the locker room. She had been comforted slightly by their words and Voight's reassurances, but they couldn't do anything about the feeling of helplessness that had settled in her stomach. She hated not knowing what was going on.

Kim steered Erin into the break room and poured her a glass of water as Erin and Nadia sat down at the small table. Kim extracted an ice pack from the small freezer and handed it to Erin to sooth her bruising hand.

The rest of the unit entered the room. Erin felt Olinksy place a comforting hand on her shoulder and squeeze it tight. "Hank says you can stay in here until we hear anything," he said in his calm, reassuring voice, and Erin gave him a weak smile of thanks. She thought if she opened her mouth to speak, she might throw-up.

As grateful as she was for the unit's support, she didn't like them seeing her like this. Usually, at work, she tried to refrain from showing any weakness. Sure, they'd all seen her angry and determined, but it was very rare that they saw her outwardly upset. She held back the tears that threatened to spill from her eyes and took a gulp of water from the glass Kim had set in front of her, hating the way her swollen hand shook as she lifted it to her lips.

The others made light conversation around her but Erin wasn't listening. She felt as if she was miles away, waiting for something that seemed like it would never come. She sat silently, wishing for news but terrified at what she might hear. She didn't know how long they all sat and stood there. One hour, maybe two? She didn't know. All Erin knew was that it felt like an eternity.

* * *

Erin was lost in dark thoughts of what might be happening to Jay right now as Hank strode into the room. He was holding his cell phone out in front of him saying, "It's Antonio."

Erin's head shot up, her heart beating fast. Hank set the phone on the table and the rest of the unit gathered round. He accepted the call and pressed the speaker button.

"Antonio, the whole unit's here, you're on speaker," Voight said.

They heard Antonio's voice coming from the phone. "Erin?" he asked.

"I'm here!" She leaned forward, her unbruised knuckles white as she gripped the tabled. She could feel her chest heaving up and down as her breathing quickened in anticipation.

"There's someone who wants to speak to you," Antonio said and they heard crackling as he passed the phone over.

"Erin?"

"Jay?!" It came out as a strangled cry as Erin's heart leapt at the sound of his voice. She felt the long held back tears spill from her eyes and cascade down her face as relief washed over her. "Jay, Jay, are you alright?! Are you hurt?!" she questioned him urgently, desperately needing answers.

"Erin, I'm fine, not even a scratch on me." Jay's voice was calm and reassuring for Erin who sat taking rattling breaths through her hardly controlled sobs of relief.

"What the hell happened?!" she demanded angrily as the rest of the unit exchanged looks of relief at the news that Jay was unharmed.

"They caught us off-guard, disarmed us. There was nothing we could do, you know what it's like." Erin nodded before remembering that Jay couldn't see her. "We tried talking Gomez down, but he wasn't having it. The negotiator had a go, but no luck, so we took a chance. Overpowered him when he wasn't expecting it. His henchmen weren't the brightest either so that helped."

"And you're sure you're not hurt?" she asked him again, knowing Jay wouldn't make a fuss even if he was in pain.

"Erin, they hardly touched me," he reassured her. Her tears had stopped and she finally felt herself relax a little.

Voight stepped forwards and leaned closer to the phone saying, "If that's the case then I want you both back here as soon as possible."

"Antonio's already on it Sarge, we'll be back tomorrow morning as planned."

Voight nodded his approval and said, "Good, we'll see you then. And Halstead, try not to get yourself taken hostage in the meantime."

They could hear Jay chuckle from the other end of the phone as he said, "I'll try my best."

There was a short pause as they heard muffled voices talking to Jay before he said, "Guys, I need to go give my statement now."

The unit all called out their goodbyes and Erin picked the phone up, taking it off speaker.

She held it up to her ear and said in a thick but quiet voice, "Jay, I love you."

"I love you too Erin, I'll see you soon," he replied, heart breaking at the worry he must have caused her.

"See you soon," she whispered back, and they both hung up.

She replaced the phone on the table and sat staring at it. She could feel the gaze of the others on her and knew she must look a mess. She didn't care though. All that mattered to her was that Jay was alive and unharmed, and she would see him tomorrow.

She wiped her drying tears with the back of her hand and took a few deep breaths to gather herself. She was still shaking, not with worry, but with relief now. Kim and Nadia stayed close to her as the guys made their way back into the bullpen. Voight called out for them to knock off early so they all gathered their belongings and headed home.

Kim and Nadia decided to go back to Erin's apartment with her to make sure she was alright and fix her something to eat. They offered to stay over, but Erin insisted they go home. As much as she appreciated their help and concern, she really wanted to be alone right now.

As soon as they left, she locked the apartment door and headed straight for bed. She felt exhausted, both physically and mentally. She laid her head down on Jay's pillow, breathing in his soft scent that still lingered on it. The stress of the day overwhelmed her, and gruesome images of what could've happened ran through her mind. She knew Jay was alright. She'd spoken to him, he'd told her so. But she wouldn't fully believe he was okay until she saw it with her own eyes.

She pulled her knees up to her chest, like she used to when she was little and she would hide under the bed. The worry and anxiety that had been buzzing in her head flowed out of her as she finally let herself break down, and sobbed into Jay's pillow. Her body shook as she let everything out, knowing no one could see or judge her here. She laid in bed and wept for what could've happened, with relief for what didn't happen. At some point Erin's eyes closed, exhaustion overcoming her. She lay on Jay's side of the bed and slowly drifted into an uneasy sleep.

* * *

Erin stood at the arrivals gate of the airport, eyes focussed on the tunnel that would soon reveal Jay.

She had woken at the crack of dawn and been unable to fall back to sleep. Her eyes felt tired, sore from all the tears she had shed the previous night, but try as she would, sleep would not come back to her. She had decided to shower and dress for the day, and made her way to the airport to meet Jay. She had been over an hour early, but sat people watching to pass the time as she sipped her coffee. Jay had texted a little while ago to say they'd landed, so factoring in the time it would take to disembark the plane and collect their luggage, Erin had estimated that Jay would appear any minute now.

As if on cue, Jay Halstead rounded the corner.

Erin leapt to her feet and their eyes met across the distance.

She felt herself running towards Jay and saw him drop the duffel bag he was carrying. Erin launched herself into his arms, wrapping her legs tightly around his waist as he caught her. She felt him take a few steps backwards at the force she had hit him with, but he remained sturdy beneath her, his muscles solid as they gripped her to him. She grasped his face with both of her hands and crashed her lips onto his. She could feel her tears of relief and happiness running off her face and onto his as they held their embrace.

Erin wasn't usually one for such public displays of affection, but she decided to break her rule on this occasion, overcome with joy at being reunited with Jay. The people surrounding them stared as they passed, probably thinking they hadn't seen each other for months. A few smiled at the obvious love the couple shared.

Erin finally released her grip on Jay and he lowered her gently to the floor. They stood with their bodies and foreheads pressed together. Jay's eyes roamed over Erin's face, wanting to take in every detail. There had been a short time, while he was being held in the casino, when he thought he might never see her again.

Jay's eyes flickered over the dark circles under Erin's eyes, and he could only imagine the worry and anxiety he had caused her. Erin gazed up at him and breathed, "I'm so happy you're home." Tears were still cascading down her face as Jay bent down to kiss her again.

"It's good to be home," he replied, and Erin felt her first true smile in days breaking over her face.

* * *

 **I hope you enjoyed this chapter, please remember to review!**

 **The next chapter is one of my favourites and was really fun to write, it's called 'I Promise', I'm going to upload it within the next few days to make up for the irregular uploads over the last few weeks :)**


	15. Chapter 15 - I Promise

**Hello! As promised, here's the next chapter... enjoy :)**

* * *

 **Chapter 15 – I promise**

Erin stood clinging to the man in front of her, hardly believing that he was actually here, that she could touch him. Not even twenty-four hours ago she had thought she would never see him again. They stood in the middle of the airport arrivals wing, Jay with his arms wrapped protectively around Erin, and Erin with her head resting on his chest. She was listening to his strong, steady heartbeat which told her he was still here, still alive.

Erin heard someone clear their throat nearby and turned her head towards the noise. Antonio Dawson hovered just behind them, unsure of where to look. She hadn't even noticed him as she ran towards Jay, having only had eyes for the man in whose arms she now stood.

Erin reluctantly extracted herself from Jay's embrace.

"Antonio," she smiled as she gave him a brief hug, and Jay slipped his arm around her waist as she stepped back.

"How're you doing?" Antonio asked Erin. They guys had obviously informed him of how she had reacted to the news of the hostage situation, and the concern was evident in his voice.

"Better, thanks," she answered, embarrassed by her lack of professionalism yesterday. "Glad this one's home," she said, patting Jay lightly on the chest as they made their way towards the door.

They made it to the parking lot and climbed into Erin's car. She steered them towards the exit and joined the flow of traffic.

"So, have you guys been busy at the district?" Antonio called from the backseat.

"Not really. We closed a few old cases but have just been catching up on paperwork mostly," Erin informed him.

Jay let out a sigh and said, "I am not looking forward to the pile of paperwork I'm gonna have to fill out for this Vegas case. Lieutenant Holden said he wants it ASAP."

"Actually Jay, Voight's given you and me the week off," Erin said, turning her head to glance at him before quickly returning her attention to the road.

"Why?" Jay asked, confused.

She shrugged before saying, "He just said we needed some time to get our heads back in the right place."

"Hey, I wouldn't turn my nose up at a week off," Antonio offered, but Jay still looked puzzled.

"But what about all the paperwork for the case?"

"Err…" Erin looked quickly in the rear view mirror to glance at Antonio. "Voight said Antonio could do it and you can just sign it when you get back."

Jay grinned wickedly and turned to look at the expression on Antonio's face. "Sorry buddy," he said, not sounding sorry at all.

"Great, you get a week off and I get a mountain of paperwork!" Antonio groaned, but he was smiling, knowing Erin and Jay both needed this time to themselves.

They slowly made their way through the Chicago morning traffic before Erin pulled up outside the district.

"Thanks for the ride Erin," Antonio said as he clambered out of the car with his luggage.

"No problem," she assured him.

"Say hi to the guys for me," Jay called to him as he made his way up the front steps. Antonio gave them a thumbs up to indicate he'd heard before he disappeared inside the district.

Erin reached over and took one of Jay's hands into hers, rubbing her thumb over the back of it. He turned at her touch, his blue eyes meeting her hazel ones.

"Let's go home," she smiled at him tenderly.

"Sounds great," he grinned back.

* * *

The couple spent the next few days just lounging around the apartment, enjoying each other's company and their shared time off, and spending a lot of time in the bedroom.

Erin had told Jay about his father's visit and he was just as shocked as she was by his complete attitude reversal, but was still hesitant to call him. He didn't know what it was, but he didn't think he could take another attempt to rebuild their relationship, only to have it thrown back in his face. He also felt disappointment and a little angry when Erin had confessed about the state Bunny had turned up in as well. He tried to comfort her, saying maybe Bunny was serious about getting clean this time, but could see in Erin's eyes that she wasn't hopeful.

By day four of their week off, they decided they should probably head out and do something, prompting Jay to suggest a trip to the park. Erin agreed, and they packed a picnic before leaving the apartment.

Chicago was experiencing a late-July heatwave, and the sun beamed down on them as they strolled across the large open field, hand in hand, not paying attention to where they were heading. The park was full of people. Families enjoying a summers day out, people riding bikes, walking their dogs or just lying in the sun.

Jay and Erin unconsciously made their way over to the shade of a large ash tree. They spread their picnic blanket out and sat, enjoying the break from the fierce heat. They ate their picnic, which consisted mostly of leftover takeout food, before moving their blanket into the sun.

Jay pulled his t-shirt over his head, deciding it was too warm to still be wearing it. Erin watched as Jay's sculpted abs were revealed and wondered how she ever got so lucky.

"What're you smirking at Erin Lindsay?" Jay shot at her, folding up his discarded shirt and leaning back to lay his head on it.

Erin's smirk became wider as she teased, "Just admiring the view is all." Her tone was flirtatious and her eyes roamed over Jay's abdomen as his muscles flexed.

Jay grinned wickedly before reaching up quickly to pull her down from where she was standing.

"Jay!" Erin squealed as she collapsed on the blanket next to him.

"Is that all I am? A piece of meat to be drooled over?" Jay teased, his grin still firmly in place.

"Well, when the meat looks as good as this, what else am I supposed to do?" she said in a playful tone, motioning to Jay's toned physique.

"I can think of a few things…" Jay shot back suggestively and reached his hand out towards Erin. She rolled out of his reach and sat up, mischief in her eyes as she reached down and pulled her tank top over her head, revealing the swimsuit top she'd changed into before they'd left.

Jay moaned as he gazed at her. "What're you doing to me Lindsay…?"

She raised her characteristic eyebrow and said, "Now who's drooling?"

She lightly whipped him with her tank top before she lowered herself down again. She laid at a right angle to his body, with her head resting against his abdomen. Jay's fingers immediately went to her hair and began to twist and untwist the loose strands. His other hand went to her bare stomach, where one of her hands lay. Their fingers entwined and they lay in silence for a while, bathing in the sun.

Erin could feel herself drifting in and out of sleep, it was so comfortable just lying there with Jay. She felt herself nod off again and jumped slightly as she came back into full consciousness. She felt Jay chuckle softly, his abdomen moving under her head.

"What?" she questioned.

"You," Jay answered. Erin could hear the characteristic grin on his face even if she couldn't see it from where she way laying. "I've been watching you try not to fall asleep for the last thirty minutes. You keep drifting off and then jumping when you wake yourself up." His voice became more serious as he continued. "Erin, you should sleep if you want to. I know you haven't gotten much these past few nights."

"Hey, I've been sleeping a lot better since you came home," she reassured him, but his concern remained.

"But still, if you want to sleep now, you should."

"You're right…" Erin started, deciding to confess her fears to Jay. "It's just, every time I close my eyes, it's like I'm not sure if you'll still be here when I wake up. Like you coming home has been a dream and when I open my eyes, you'll still be in Vegas and I won't have a clue what's going on."

Jay felt guilt ripple through him at the worry and anxiety he was causing Erin and wished there was something he could do to take her pain away.

"I'm so sorry Erin…" he began, but Erin cut him off, turning to look at his slightly raised head.

"Jay, it's not your fault. You didn't ask for it to happen." Her hazel eyes begged him not to blame himself. "Just promise me something?"

"What?"

"Never leave me again, okay?"

"Erin, I…" Jay began to reassure her, but she cut him off, sitting up and turning to look at him properly.

"Jay I'm serious. I never want to spend another night apart from you. I was miserable, even before we heard what happened. I need you Jay. Forever." Her voice was hoarse and even raspier than usual as she stared into Jay's piercing blue eyes.

Jay sat up too and leaned over, placing his hand on her cheek and resting his forehead against hers so he could feel her warm breath on his face.

"I love you so much Erin. And I promise to never leave you again, if you promise to never leave me?"

"I promise," she whispered back.

They sat gazing at each other. Her words had sent Jay into deep thought.

Their tender moment was broken as a loud ringing noise met their ears, and Jay reached into his pocket to retrieve his phone. His brother's name and face were flashing on the screen.

"Will," he said warmly as he answered the phone. "You sure know how to pick your moments. What's up man?"

Erin picked at a loose thread on the picnic blanket as Jay listened to whatever Will was saying on the other end of the phone.

"Tonight?" Jay asked before looking up at Erin. "Hang on, I'll ask."

Jay had gotten Erin's attention and she looked at him, intrigued.

"Will's got two extra tickets to the Cubs game tonight and they're ours if we want them," Jay said to her as he lowered the phone from his ear.

They had nothing else planned for that evening so Erin smiled and nodded, saying, "Sounds good." She enjoyed spending time with Will. He always had a good story from when he and Jay were kids.

"Alright, we're in," Jay confirmed into the phone and listened as Will spoke again. After a few moments he said, "Okay, we'll see you and Natalie at six."

* * *

The crowd roared as the batter sent the ball flying out of the stadium, scoring a home run. It was the end of the fourth innings and Erin and Jay were thoroughly enjoying themselves. They were not major baseball fans, preferring to watch ice hockey, but we're not going to let that stand in the way of them having a good time.

Will had received the tickets from a patient as a thank you for saving their life, and had asked his fellow doctor and love interest Natalie Manning to accompany him. He was struggling to choose between his other colleagues when Natalie had suggested asking his brother and Erin to the game.

"I'm just going to nip to the bathroom," Natalie said as she got to her feet.

"I'll join you," Erin said, also getting to her feet and following Natalie. She didn't know Natalie that well, having only met her a couple of times before when few a cases had led her to Chicago Med, but so far, she liked her very much.

"Thanks again for the tickets man. It's just what Erin and I needed," Jay said to his brother as the women squeezed themselves past the row of people and disappeared down the stairs.

"I still can't believe you were actually held hostage," Will grinned at his brother, shaking his head.

"Hey, it's not the first time and it probably won't be the last," Jay said back, shrugging slightly.

"I know, it's just… It's like something you see on TV, you don't expect it to happen to someone you know."

"Risk of the job."

Will clasped Jay on the shoulder saying, "Still, I'm glad you're alright." Will's expression was serious as he spoke. "Dad is too."

Jay became tense at the mention of their father. He knew Will was in a difficult position, stuck between him and their dad, not wanting to take sides.

Jay looked back at the field and said nothing.

"Come on Jay, he really wants to talk to you."

"I know, Erin said, but honestly, I don't think I can take anymore disappointment. Besides, I still haven't forgiven him for what he said at dinner. Erin's got enough doubts about herself as it is without him putting more in her head, and for him to suggest she'd put her career before her kids, I just can't."

"I know it was bad," Will agreed. "But he's really changed over the last few weeks. Can you just try one more time?"

Jay stared off into the crowed, thinking hard. Eventually he said, "Alright, I'll call him."

"Thank you," Will said gratefully, before deciding it was best to change the subject. "So how's Erin doing? She seems on good form tonight," he asked.

Jay's mind switched to Erin and he thought back to two nights ago.

* * *

 _The room was dark as Jay blinked his eyes open. The only illumination was coming from the city lights outside, which were muffled by the drapes at the window. Jay turned his head to the side, wondering what had woken him. His blue eyes met Erin's hazel ones._

 _She was wide awake and had obviously been watching him sleep._

 _"Babe, it's the middle of the night, get some sleep," Jay said groggily as sleep tried to take his body once more._

 _"I know… I'm sorry." She was obviously embarrassed at having been caught staring at him._

 _Jay repositioned himself and pulled her close to him, wrapping his strong arms tightly around her._

 _"Erin, you can stop worrying. I'm here and I'm fine. You're gonna make yourself sick if you don't get some sleep."_

 _"I'm just so glad you're here," she whispered into his chest as he kissed the top of her head. "I was so scared Jay…"_

 _He felt her warm tears on his bare chest as she cried softly into him._

* * *

"She's putting on a brave face, but she was really shaken up. She still is," Jay confided.

"I'm not surprised," Will told him. "That girl loves you, y'know. You'd expect her to be a little worried."

"I know she loves me," Jay replied, smiling at the truth of the words. "We were actually talking earlier, and I've decided something." Jay couldn't help himself from grinning as he looked at his brother.

"What?" Will asked, noticing Jay's obvious excitement.

"I'm going to ask Erin to marry me."

* * *

 **Thanks for all the feedback from the last chapter, I'm glad people enjoyed it :)**

 **As always, please review - it's so encouraging!**

 **I'll now be going back to my regular schedule of posting one chapter a week.** **The next chapter is called 'Make Her Happy'**


	16. Chapter 16 - Make Her Happy

**Hello! Thanks everyone for all the reviews and follows, enjoy this next chapter! :)**

* * *

 **Chapter 16 – Make her happy**

Will's face broke into the characteristic Halstead grin as he embraced his younger brother.

"Congratulations man," he said as he slapped Jay on the back.

"She hasn't said yes yet!" Jay said, thinking Will's congrats were slightly premature.

"She will," Will waved off any uncertainty Jay might have had. "So, when were you thinking of doing it?"

"I don't know." Jay had only decided on asking Erin to marry him ,as heearlier that day, when she had told him how she never wanted to spend another night apart from him. "I need to get a ring first. And talk to Voight." That was something Jay could not wholeheartedly say he was looking forward to. But he knew he had to do it.

"Why d'you need to talk to Voight?" Will asked.

Jay paused and sighed before saying, "I just do."

A long time ago, when they had only been working together for a month or so, Erin had told Jay that anyone who had to ask her "Dad's" permission to date her should save himself the trouble. Well, Jay thought, he hadn't asked permission to date her. In fact, he'd gone against Voight's direct orders not to date her. But this was different. This was a marriage proposal and Jay knew he had to do it right.

"Not a word," Jay shot at Will as he saw Erin and Natalie climbing the stairs towards their row of seats, each holding two hotdogs.

"My lips are sealed," Will grinned back.

The girls retook their seats as the pitcher threw an impressive curveball.

Erin handed Jay the extra hotdog she was holding before taking a big bite of her own.

"Man, you can't beat a hotdog at a baseball game, you just can't," Will drooled. "Jay, d'you remember, Mom always took us for hotdogs after our little league games." He grinned at his brother as Jay smiled at the memory too.

"You boys played little league? I can't wait to get Owen into it," Natalie said, leaning forward to look between the brothers.

"Sure did," Will nodded. "I remember Jay's first game. He steps up to the plate his first time batting, and strikes out, one two three! So he storms off the field, throws a tantrum and refuses to play for the rest of the game!" Will laughed as Jay turned to look at him with a look of confused amusement etched across his face.

"Dude, that was you!" Jay informed his brother as Natalie and Erin laughed.

"I forget the finer details," Will grinned.

* * *

Erin and Jay's week off work was coming to an end, and although they had both thoroughly enjoyed the time off together, they were also itching to sink their teeth into a new case.

It was the night before they were due to return to work, and Erin was alone at the apartment. Jay had left for an evening jog a little while ago, and she'd just settled down to read Kim's most recent email about what still needed doing for the wedding.

Adam and Kim had finally settled on a simple church wedding outside the city, with the reception being held at fancy hotel. As Kim had put Erin in charge of communications, Erin found herself constantly sending off emails and calling the hotel, making sure everything would be perfect.

Erin was just about to compose an email to the florists – Kim had changed her mind again, now wanting white flower arrangements instead of the yellow she had previously decided on – when there was a knock at the door.

Erin crossed the apartment, looking through the peephole before pulling the door open.

Nadia stood before her, an envelope clutched in her hand and a huge smile across her face.

"Hey, what's up?" Erin asked as Nadia practically hopped on the spot with excitement. She said nothing but simply held the envelope out to Erin. It was already open and Erin pulled the letter out. She began to read:

 _Dear Miss DeCotis,_

 _This letter is to commend you on being accepted as a recruit to the Chicago Police Department._

Erin read the first line and looked up, joy spreading over her.

"You did it!" she cried before pulling Nadia into a bone crushing hug. "I'm so proud of you!"

"I can't believe I actually passed! I'm going to the Academy! I'm gonna be a cop!" Her face was screwed up with joy as Erin released her and she danced on the spot.

"Who else have you told?" Erin asked, feeling just as excited.

"I went over to Platt's first," Nadia said as she perched on the back of the couch. "Let's just say she was not happy to see me."

"How come?" Erin asked, confused. Nadia was one of two people at the district, the other being Erin, who Platt actually showed any indication of liking.

"Um… I may have accidentally interrupted her and Mouch… if you know what I mean," Nadia cringed as Erin tried to withhold from laughing.

"Oh," Erin sniggered. "Well, I'm sure she's thrilled for you deep down," Erin snorted and couldn't keep a straight face, laughter bursting from her.

"I don't know what she was so upset about! I mean, I'm the one who's gonna be scarred for life. I'll never be able to unsee Mouch in those pink fluffy handcuffs…"

Erin's laughter increased as a voice said, "Woah woah woah! What about Mouch in pink fluffy handcuffs!?"

Jay had just let himself into the apartment in time to catch the end of Nadia's last sentence, and he had a half amused, half confused look on his face.

"Nadia's been accepted to the Academy!" Erin informed him, holding up the letter still in her hand. Jay's face broke into a huge smile.

"Congratulations!" he said to her as he pulled Nadia into a massive bear hug.

"Ew! Gross! You're all sweaty Halstead!" Nadia squealed as she squirmed out of Jay's arms, wrinkling her nose.

"Yeah, hit the shower Detective," Erin grinned from across the room.

"Hmm…" Jay said with a glint of mischief in his eyes as he looked at Erin, raising an eyebrow. "I distinctly remember you telling me the other morning that we should always shower together from now on. Why was it again…? To save water, Detective…?" He grinned wickedly at her before crossing the room to capture her lips in a quick kiss.

"Seriously you guys! You're worse than Platt and Mouch!" Nadia called from the back of the couch and Erin blushed as Jay backed away into their bedroom.

He pulled his sweaty t-shirt off and tossed it in the hamper before reaching a hand into one of his pockets. He glanced at the door quickly, making sure Erin hadn't followed him, before pulling out a small velvet box and staring at it, thinking of everything it signified.

* * *

 _Jay called to Erin that he was leaving for his evening jog before heading out the door. It was true, he was going for a jog, but he was not taking his usual route. Instead, he directed his feet towards Voight's house, hoping the exercise might help to calm his nerves before he got there. He had come to the conclusion that he would not be able to have this conversation with Voight at work, what with Erin always being so near and the risk of being overheard by one of the other members of the unit._

 _Jay easily jogged the distance and all too soon he found himself standing on Voight's front porch. He took a deep breath before ringing the doorbell._

 _A few moments passed before Hank Voight open the door to him._

 _"Jay? Is something wrong? Is Erin okay?" Hank felt panic begin to trickle into him. Why would Jay be here without Erin unless something bad had happened?_

 _"Erin's fine, Hank. She thinks I'm out for a jog," Jay reassured him, guessing what was going through the older man's mind._

 _"Aren't you?" Hank asked, calming down as he took in Jay's sweaty appearance._

 _"Well, yes… But… um… I actually wanted to talk to you. Alone."_

 _Hank nodded okay as he pulled the door wider and stepped aside so Jay could enter._

 _The two men made their way to the sitting room. Hank resumed his position in his armchair as Jay perched nervously on the edge of the couch._

 _"So, what d'you want to talk about?" Hank questioned. He could tell Jay was on edge._

 _Jay swallowed and met Hank's eyes._

 _"I love Erin. More than anything in the world. I would do anything for her, you know that." Jay was pleased to hear his voice was steady and sure even though his insides were flip-flopping._

 _Hank nodded. He knew Jay loved Erin, and she loved him. He had seen it almost from the moment he had partnered them up. There had always been something between them, no matter how hard he had tried to deny it._

 _"Sir, I'm planning on asking Erin to marry me, and I would really like your blessing before I do." Jay had phrased it in such a way that it was clear he was going to propose, no matter what Hank said, but he would prefer to do it with his support._

 _Hank looked at Jay. "Why are you coming to me with this?" he questioned, wondering what Jay's answer would be._

 _Jay thought for a moment before replying, trying to decide on the right words._

 _"Because I only plan on doing this once, and I want to do it right, for Erin. You're her family, the closest thing she's ever had to a father. She loves you and I love her, and that means I care about what you say."_

 _Jay never broke eye contact with the older man, but held his gaze with his piercing blue eyes, trying to read Hank's expression._

 _Hank looked at Jay for a long time, considering him. Finally he got to his feet._

 _"Stay here," he said as he exited the room, and Jay heard him descending the stairs to the basement._

 _A minute or so later, he reappeared, holding a small velvet box out to Jay. Jay took it and opened the lid, confused and intrigued. Sitting inside the box was an engagement ring._

 _"Sir…I…" Jay stammered as he raised his eyes to meet Hank's, a hundred questions bursting in his head._

 _Hank took his seat again and smiled at the shocked expression on Jay's face. "I gave that ring to Camille when I proposed to her." Hank explained and smiled at the memory. "I offered it to Justin, but Olive always dreamed of wearing her own mom's ring. So now, I want you to give it to Erin. She always told Camille how beautiful she thought it was."_

 _"Hank… I don't know what to say," Jay said quietly, overwhelmed by Hank's gesture and everything this ring meant to him._

 _"Say you'll make her happy," Hank told him, getting to his feet and holding his hand out to Jay._

 _Jay stood and shook Hank's hand. "I will, Sir."_

* * *

Jay gazed down at the little box in his hand. Now all he had to do was figure how the best way to propose to Erin. He knew she wouldn't want anything too showy, never enjoying being the centre of attention. But still, he had to make it special for her.

He pulled open his sock drawer and placed the box in the far back corner, covering it over with socks that never got worn. Until he decided how to propose, the ring could stay hidden there.

He smiled to himself, and excitement bounced inside him. Soon he was going to propose to the woman he loved, and they would begin to build the rest of their lives together. Their "maybe one day" was here.

* * *

 **I hope you enjoyed this chapter, please leave me a review letting me know what you think :)**

 **The next chapter is called 'We'll Take Her'**


	17. Chapter 17 - We'll Take Her

**Well, what a week this has been! It's a good job I already had this chapter written otherwise I wouldn't have anything to upload! After being rushed into surgery with appendicitis, I'm now back home after a short stay in hospital. The good news is, I'm going to have lots of time to write while I recover :)**

 **Anyway... I hope you enjoy this chapter, it's a little bit light on the Linstead, but I'm building up to some big stuff in three or four chapter's time!**

 **Enjoy...**

* * *

 **Chapter 17 – We'll Take Her**

Kim and Erin were enjoying a late lunch at one of their favourite cafés, discussing a few last minute details of Kim's fast approaching wedding. It was hard to believe it was less than a month away.

Erin looked down at her half eaten plate of food and her stomach churned. She hadn't been feeling right for a few days now and hoped she wasn't coming down with the stomach flu that seemed to have taken out half of the district already. Jay had been in bed all last week with it, but she'd thought she'd gotten away with not catching it. It appeared she was wrong as a wave of nausea struck and she took a large gulp of water.

Kim's radio suddenly came to life with a report of shots being fired. The address was only a few blocks away so Kim radioed back to say they were on their way.

Erin sat in the passenger seat of the squad car as Kim drove, sirens blaring. Her eyes were focussed on the road as she tried to keep down what little lunch she'd managed to eat.

Kim pulled the car up outside a quaint looking house. They were in a nicer part of town, but Erin knew looks could be deceptive. There was no one outside on the sidewalk or in their front yards, even though the day was warm. Erin could see faces at the windows of neighbouring houses, peering out, trying to see as much as they could without leaving the safety of their homes.

They climbed the front steps of the house and Erin looked through the glass of the front door. Her eyes fell upon a pair of legs on the ground. The rest of the body was hidden through an archway. Kim radioed for an ambulance and backup as she and Erin both pulled their weapons from their waists. Erin tried the door handle and found it was unlocked. They made their way cautiously inside, adrenaline settling Erin's uneasy stomach.

They stood in a narrow hallway. Stairs led to the second level on the left, while an archway revealed the sitting room on the right. The body of a young woman lay in the archway. She looked to be no older than 30, and had long blonde hair that was spread out around her. A dark stain on her blouse and the pool of blood surrounding her told them she'd been shot. Erin didn't need to check her pulse to know she was dead. She nodded to Kim and they moved forwards into the sitting room.

They heard a spluttering sound from the corner, and turned their heads to see a man collapsed on the floor, leaning against the wall. He too had a dark stain across his front, but it was lower down than the woman's, indicating he'd been shot in the stomach. They rushed over to him and Kim applied pressure to the wound.

"Sir, what's your name?" Erin asked him clearly as she crouched next to him. He seemed not to be able to hear her and his breathing became more and more ragged. He coughed, and blood filled his mouth. "Sir, do you know who did this to you?"

The man gave a tiny shake of his head and it seemed to take all of his effort. "They… ran… sirens…" His voice was breathless and raspy, and Erin nodded to say she understood, watching blood trickle out of his mouth. "Alison…" he gasped as he looked over at the dead woman.

Erin watched as the man's rattling breaths faded and his eyes glazed over. He was dead. She could hear the faint sounds of the ambulance in the distance, but knew it would be of no use to him now.

Uniformed officers turned up shortly after the ambulance, and the crime scene unit followed them. The house was taped off and a crowd began to gather outside. The rest of the intelligence unit arrived and made their way inside the house. They headed over to where Erin and Kim stood.

"What do we know?" Voight asked as he got nearer, his eyes taking in the body bags on the floor.

"DOA is Alison Pope, 28 years old," Erin said as she moved to stand next to the white body bag in the archway. "Victim number two," she said, pointing to the second body bag, "Is her husband Matthew Pope, 30 years old. He was barely conscious when we got here and died before the ambulance arrived. He did manage to tell us that he didn't know the shooter or shooters."

"Alright, let's start digging. I want to know who these people were and what enemies they had. Atwater, Ruzek, you question the neighbours. Al and Dawson, dig up what you can. Bank statements, phone record, I want it all. Get Mouse to help. Lindsay and Halstead, you stay and oversee the crime scene." They all nodded and dispersed to carry out their relative tasks.

Erin watched as the crime scene unit moved about the house, taking photos of smashed ornaments, knocked over furniture, blood smears. The evidence all pointed to the couple putting up a good fight.

Erin found herself in the narrow hallway of the house, where the stairs led up to the next level. She looked up, and saw the figure of a small child sitting at the top of the stairs, gazing through the wooden banisters. The child saw Erin watching and quickly flitted away down the hall.

Erin climbed the stairs and followed the direction the child had gone in. She pushed open an ajar door and entered what was obviously an adored little girl's bedroom. The room was decorated in pink and white, with pictures of colourful butterflies and cute bunny rabbits hanging on the walls, linked together by pastel polka-dot bunting.

A white bed with pink blankets was pushed against one wall. At the end of the bed, surrounded by a plethora of stuffed animals, crouched a little girl. She was wearing a pretty green summers dress and had a matching ribbon tied in her mousy hair, which fell in tight curls to her shoulders. She was obviously well cared for and loved. The child's big green eyes gazed up at Erin.

Erin approached the bed and crouched down in front of the girl. She gave her a reassuring smile and said, "Hi, my name's Erin, what's yours?"

The girl looked at her before saying quietly, "Audri."

"That's a very pretty name," Erin smiled at her. "Can you tell me how old you are Audri?"

"Three," Audri said in her baby voice, holding up three fingers on her small hand. She couldn't say her r's properly, and said 'f' instead of 'th'.

"Wow! Three years old, you're such a big girl!" Erin exclaimed and Audri grinned at her. "Do you mind if I sit with you?" The little girl shook her head, her curls bouncing, and moved some of her stuffed animals to make room for Erin.

Erin sat and looked at Audri, knowing the little girl's life had just been changed forever.

"You sure do have a lot of stuffed animals here Audri, which one's your favourite?" Erin asked encouragingly.

Audri searched through the mountain of toys for a second before pulling out a worn and tatty looking bunny. "His name is Pip," she said as she held the toy out to Erin. She also had a slight lisp on the letter 's'.

Erin smiled at her and watched as Audri absentmindedly stroked one of Pip's ears.

"Audri, did you see what happened downstairs with your Mommy and Daddy?" Erin asked, not sure if she wanted to know the answer.

Audri shook her head and Erin felt relieved.

"There was loud noise and bangs. Where is Momma?" Audri's big green eyes stared up at Erin, and Erin felt a pang of pity for the little girl.

"Your Momma's not here right now, sweetie," Erin said, feeling a lump at the back of her throat. "So how about you, Pip and I go downstairs, and we'll take you somewhere safe. How does that sound?"

Audri nodded and scooted to the edge of the bed, dragging the bunny by the ear. Erin got to her feet and crouched down in front of her once again.

"There's gonna be a lot of people downstairs and outside, but I don't want you to worry okay? They're all here to help, and I promise to keep you safe," Erin told the little girl, trying to prepare her for what was waiting for them.

Audri slid off the bed and stood in front of Erin. With Erin crouching as she was, they were about the same height. Audri suddenly reached out and wrapped her little arms around Erin's neck, snuggling into her, the bunny's ear still gripped in her hand. Erin pulled Audri tightly to her, trying to offer her whatever comfort she could.

She placed her hands under the little girl's arms and scooped her up, balancing her on her hip with an arm around her. Audri laid her curly haired head on Erin's shoulder and her thumb found her mouth. The tattered bunny hung from the tight fist that was raised to her face.

Erin grabbed the footie pyjamas that lay on the little girl's pillow, and the blanket that was folded up on the glider in the corner. She wasn't sure where the child would end up tonight, but knew it would comfort her to have these things from home.

Erin carried Audri out of her bedroom and away from the horror story that had happened downstairs.

* * *

Erin sat in the back of Jay's car as he drove. She had her arms wrapped protectively around Audri, who had fallen asleep almost as soon as the car had started. Her little head bobbed with every bump in the road, but her eyes remained closed, her eyelashes dark against her pale cheeks.

Jay pulled up in the district parking lot and helped Erin out of the car with the little girl, trying not to wake her. Erin carried her into the district and was met by Sergeant Platt at the front desk.

"Detectives," Platt called to them softly, cautious of the sleeping child. "I've been trying to locate a family member to take her," she said, motioning to Audri. "Both sets of grandparents are dead, and dad was an only child. She has an aunt on her mom's side who lives here in the city though, so I've left her a message. I'm just waiting for her to call me back."

"Thanks Sergeant," Erin said, smiling sadly. This morning, the girl in her arms had a mom and a dad who loved her. Now all she had was an aunt that wasn't picking up her phone. "Let me know as soon as you hear from her."

Platt nodded and Erin and Jay continued their way upstairs. Atwater and Ruzek were still questioning neighbours," but Dawson and Olinsky were at their desks, squinting at their screens. They raised their heads as they crossed the bullpen, but said nothing as they saw Audri asleep in Erin's arms.

Erin carried Audri into the break room and laid her on the couch against the wall. She covered her in the blanket she'd picked up before leaving the girl's bedroom and placed the soft rabbit in her arms. Audri fidgeted in her sleep and her thumb made its way to her mouth again, but she didn't wake.

Erin watched the sleeping child and felt tears stinging in her eyes. She blinked them away. There was no point crying over the situation. She didn't even know the dead man and woman, but she still felt a stab of grief for them, and pity for the child they'd left behind.

She felt Jay move behind her and his arms wrapped around her. She let herself be pulled into his comforting embrace as he kissed the top of her head. He could see how protective of this child Erin was becoming, and knew it was going to be a long and difficult case for her.

Erin set up a laptop at the table in the break room so as to stay close to Audri as the little girl continued to nap. She remained asleep while Erin trawled through old bank statements of Alison and Matthew Pope, trying to find any clue as to who would want them dead.

After a couple hours of no success for Erin, Audri began to stir. She yawned and rubbed her eyes with her fists before blinking tiredly at Erin, who had crouched down beside her.

"Hey Audri, did you sleep well?" she asked as Audri sat up, the blanket falling off her shoulders. She nodded as her green eyes travelled over the unfamiliar room. "It's okay, we're at the police station," Erin reassured her.

Audri continued to look scared as she said quietly, "Where's Momma?"

"She's not here right now sweetie," Erin told her for the second time that day. "How about we find you some crayons and you can draw me a picture?"

Audri nodded enthusiastically at the suggestion and Erin wondered how many more times she'd be able to distract the little girl before she realised something wasn't right, and that her mother wasn't going to come and get her.

Erin sat Audri at the break room table, propped up on a stack of cushions so she could colour comfortably. She set a few sheets of paper and a pot of crayons in front of her, and Audri began to scribble contentedly. Erin sat back down at her laptop, but continued to watch the little girl.

After a few minutes, Sergeant Platt appeared in the open doorway and motioned to Erin to step out for a moment.

Erin caught Audri's attention and said, "You keep colouring, I'll be just outside." Audri nodded and Erin left the room.

"I've just spoken to Alison Pope's younger sister Claire Conway," Platt began. "She said she's happy to take the child."

Erin felt some small relief trickle into her. At least the girl would be staying with family. But Platt hadn't finished talking.

"Unfortunately, she's on a business trip in London right now. She said she'll be on the next flight out, but in any case, she won't be here till morning at the earliest."

"So what happens to Audri tonight?" Erin asked, already knowing the answer and feeling a sinking feeling in her stomach.

"She'll be handed over to child services and placed with a foster family until her aunt gets here."

Erin sighed and looked over at Jay, who had been listening to every word of the conversation from his desk. He met Erin's eyes and nodded, knowing what she wanted to do and loving her even more for it, if that was possible.

Erin motioned between her and Jay and said, "We'll take her."

* * *

 **I hope you enjoyed this chapter! As always, please leave a review letting me know what you think and any suggestions for the future :)**

 **Next chapter is called 'Baby Mine'**


	18. Chapter 18 - Baby Mine

**Hello! Thank you to everyone who sent me get well wishes, they really cheered me up :)**

 **Here's the next chapter - enjoy!**

* * *

 **Chapter 18 – Baby Mine**

Erin motioned between her and Jay and said, "We'll take her."

Platt began to give reasons why it wasn't possible, but Erin interrupted her.

"It's only for one night Sarge, I've done it before," Erin told her, pleading with her eyes. She didn't want Audri going to stay with some foster family that she knew nothing about. She needed to know that Audri was with people who would take care of her, and the only people she could guarantee that from was her and Jay.

Platt considered Erin before saying, "Let me talk to Voight about it," and disappearing into Voight's office, closing the door behind her.

She emerged a few minutes later and walked back over to Erin.

"Okay, I'll hold off calling child services, but if her aunt doesn't show up tomorrow, I'll have no choice," she said and Erin smiled at her gratefully.

"Thank you Sergeant."

Just then, Atwater and Ruzek emerged at the top of the stairs and Dawson called over to them, "Anything from the neighbours?"

Voight emerged from his office as Ruzek started talking.

"Not much," Ruzek sighed as he collapsed into his desk chair. "They all heard two gunshots but nobody saw anything."

"A couple people reported a black car parked outside, but didn't get the license plate," Atwater continued and they all sighed with frustration.

So far, they had been unlucky with all of their searches through old phone records and bank statements, and had nothing to go on.

"I'm waiting on the ballistic report to see if we can match the bullet casings with any guns already in the system or with any other shootings. It's a long shot, but you never know," Jay offered, knowing the unit was running low on enthusiasm.

Voight glanced at his watch. "Let's give it one more hour and if we've still got nothing, then we'll come back tomorrow with fresh eyes." They all nodded and continued with their relative tasks.

Erin headed back into the break room and Audri held up her piece of paper, smiling proudly.

"Wow, that's beautiful!" Erin exclaimed, taking the picture she'd drawn. "Who's that?" she asked, pointing to a vaguely human shaped blob on one side of the page.

"That's Momma," Audri smiled. "And that's me and that's Daddy," she said in her baby voice as she pointed to a smaller shape before a larger one.

"And who's that?" Erin asked, pointing to the last shape.

"You," Audri said, and Erin felt her heart swell as she gazed at the small child.

Erin smiled before motioning her over to the couch. Audri slid off her pile of cushions and scurried over to sit on Erin's lap.

"We've spoken to your Aunt Claire," Erin told her as she wrapped her arms around the little girl. "And she said she's gonna come get you tomorrow."

Audri smiled at her. "And then I go home?" she said hopefully.

"No, sweetie, you can't go home," Erin replied softly, stroking Audri's back.

"How come?" the little girl questioned, confusion wrinkling her small forehead.

"Because your Momma and Daddy aren't there," Erin said gently. To her relief, Audri didn't ask where they were, but accepted it without question. "So tonight," Erin continued, "You're gonna come stay with me and Jay, and we'll take care of you. You remember Jay from earlier?" Erin pointed through the open break room door to where Jay was sitting at his desk.

He had watched as Erin sat on the couch and the little girl crawled up onto her lap. He waved and smiled at Audri as Erin pointed to him. Audri giggled and nodded her head as he stuck his tongue out comedically at her.

After another hour of work, the unit was no further forward with the case and Voight called for them all to go home.

Erin held tightly onto Audri's small hand as they and Jay made their way down the front steps of the district. They rounded the corner to the parking lot and Jay lifted Audri into the back of the car and buckled her in. Erin climbed in beside her and Jay drove them home.

* * *

"And Cinderella and the Prince lived happily ever after. The end," Jay read as he closed the story book that Erin had grabbed from the toy box at the district. They always had a supply of toys and books for when children were being interviewed, or had to hang around while their parents were questioned, and Erin had raided it before they left.

Jay was sitting on one side of the king-size bed, and Erin on the other, with Audri sandwiched in between them under the covers. They were in Nadia's old room, and were trying to lull the little girl to sleep. Audri was laying with her head against Erin and her thumb in her mouth as she listened to Jay finish the story.

"Alright, it's time to go to sleep now," Erin said softly. Audri snuggled further down the bed as Jay pulled the covers up under her chin. She looked even tinier than she actually was, surrounded by the large bed. "We'll be just down the hall if you need anything, you remember where we showed you?"

Audri nodded and her eyelids began to droop.

"Goodnight Audri," Erin whispered. Audri was already asleep as Erin and Jay crept out of the room. Jay flicked the light off and Erin pulled the door to, leaving it slightly ajar so some light from the hall filtered in.

They collapsed onto the couch in the living room and turned the TV on, making sure the volume was down low so as not to disturb the sleeping child. Erin sighed and ran her hands through her hair as Jay draped an arm around her shoulders. She melted into him, finally letting herself relax after a very long and stressful day.

"You feeling any better?" Jay asked softly, rubbing his hand up and down her arm. He knew Erin hadn't been feeling great for the last few days and felt guilty knowing he might've been the one to get her sick. She'd also been a lot grouchier than usual, getting irritated at the tiniest of things, and Jay was relieved that they weren't spending tonight in annoyed silence, as they had done on multiple occasions over the last few weeks.

"A little," she said. She didn't feel nauseous anymore but had a killer headache. More than anything though, she felt tired.

"What're you thinking?" Jay asked, sensing Erin's mind was elsewhere.

"I'm thinking how that girl's life has just been thrown upside down and she has no idea," Erin confessed hoarsely.

Her heart ached for Audri. Everything she had known was gone now. Erin wasn't sure what was worse, having a mother like Bunny, who didn't give a damn about her kids most of the time, or having a mother like Alison Pope, and suddenly being ripped apart from her. She was glad, in a way, that Audri was too young to know what was going on. But that also meant that she probably wouldn't have any memories of the parents who had loved her so much.

"She'll be alright," Jay reassured her, knowing how big Erin's heart was.

"We have to catch whoever did this," Erin said, as determination to get justice for Audri coursed through her.

"We will." Jay tightened his arm around Erin. "You're good with her," he said, trying to give her some comfort. Jay had watched Erin interact with Audri all day, and felt his love for Erin grow every time he saw how good she was with the little girl. He knew that one day, Erin would make an amazing mother.

Erin gave let out a light breath of exasperation. "I have no idea what I'm doing," she admitted, inexplicable tears stinging the back of her eyes. She knew she was a poor substitute for Audri's mother, and suddenly felt overwhelmed at the prospect of taking care of the little girl.

"When does anyone really know what they're doing when it comes to kids?" Jay comforted, sensing her distress.

They stayed up for another few hours before heading to bed. Erin peeked into the spare bedroom and saw Audri was still fast asleep, her tattered bunny wrapped tightly in her arms.

She crawled into bed as Jay finished brushing his teeth. Erin was asleep almost as soon as her head hit the pillow, and Jay re-entered the bedroom to hear her breathing steadily. He turned off her bedside lamp, before getting into bed beside her and plunging the room into darkness. After a few minutes, he joined her in deep sleep.

* * *

Erin felt herself being pulled back into consciousness. There was a soft sniffling sound from somewhere nearby and her eyes flickered open. By the dim light from the hallway that was flooding in through the open bedroom door, Erin could see the outline of a small child standing by her side of the bed.

"Audri?" Erin said groggily, reaching out to check the time on her phone as she sat up. 2:45am. Erin looked at the child in her yellow footie pyjamas more closely. Her little shoulders were quivering as her whole body shook with sobs and tears rolled down her cheeks. She had her arms wrapped tightly around herself, her bunny rabbit held against her chest.

"Audri, sweetie, what's wrong?" Erin said, concern filling her as all traces of tiredness disappeared.

She continued to sob and Erin got out of bed to crouch in front of her.

"Audri, please tell me what's the matter." Erin voice was soft and comforting as she rubbed the little girl's arms.

Audri tried to catch her breath as she choked, "I want my Momma." Each word was punctuated with a sob.

Erin pulled Audri into a tight hug, stroking her curly hair soothingly as she whispered, "I know, I know."

She glanced over at Jay who was still fast asleep, as she lifted the weeping child into her arms. She carried Audri back down the hall and into the spare room, and sat down with her on the side of the bed.

"I know you miss your Momma, honey," Erin soothed as she wiped Audri's red, wet face with a tissue. "But you'll see your Aunt Claire tomorrow, and she's gonna take you home with her."

"Aunt Claire," Audri hiccupped, her sobs finally subsiding.

"Yeah," Erin smiled at her. "So how about you try and go back to sleep so you can wake up nice and fresh to see her tomorrow?"

Audri nodded and Erin tucked her back into bed.

Audri's green eyes began to fill with tears again as Erin got up to leave, so Erin asked, "What does your Momma do to make you feel better when you're scared?"

"Momma sings," Audri sniffled quietly in her baby voice, staring up at Erin.

"What's your favourite song that she sings?" Erin asked, thinking she probably wouldn't know it, but could at least pull it up on YouTube on her phone if it would comfort the little girl.

Audri thought for second before saying, "Baby Mine."

Erin's breath caught in her throat. She did know that song.

She was transported back to when she was only a few years older than Audri, and would sit for hours in front of the small TV set, watching the Dumbo tape a neighbour had passed down to them. Over and over again, she would rewind the part where Dumbo's mother sang him to sleep, gaining some inexplicable comfort from the love she gave him. Love she very rarely received from her own mother. One day, the tape finally wore out after being rewound so many times in the same place, and Erin had begged Bunny to buy a new one, but she never did. Erin had only heard that song a handful of times since then, but knew every word would come back to her when she started to sing.

She placed an arm around Audri as she laid back next to her. Erin rarely sang, but could hold a tune at least. She knew it wouldn't matter to Audri either way, so began to softly lull her to sleep.

 _"Baby mine, don't you cry._

 _Baby mine, dry your eyes._

 _Rest your head close to my heart,_

 _Never to part, baby of mine."_

Audri's eyes began to droop and Erin continued to sing.

 _"Little one, when you play,_

 _Don't you mind what they say._

 _Let those eyes sparkle and shine,_

 _Never a tear, baby of mine._

 _If they knew sweet little you,_

 _They'd end up loving you too._

 _All those same people who scold you,_

 _What they'd give just for the right to hold you."_

Audri's breathing was steady and deep as Erin began the final verse.

 _"From your head to your toes,_

 _You're not much, goodness knows._

 _But, you're so precious to me,_

 _Sure as can be, baby of mine."_

Erin finished the song, feeling a lump in the back of her throat as she held the sleeping child. She looked up to see Jay leaning against the doorframe, gazing at her.

He hadn't thought he could love Erin any more than he already did, but watching and listening to her comfort and sing the little girl to sleep made his heart want to burst.

Erin extracted her arm gently from around Audri and glided over to Jay. He silently took her hand and led her back to their bedroom. She curled up in his arms, feeling his warm breath on her face.

"That was my song," she whispered as he held her. Jay's arms tightened protectively around her and she felt herself drifting back off into sleep, the song still playing in her head.

* * *

 **I hope you enjoyed this chapter, please review letting me know what you think :)**

 **Next chapter is called 'Where Are You Going?'**


	19. Chapter 19 - Where Are You Going?

**Hello! Here's the next chapter :) Thank you so much for all the lovely reviews, they're so encouraging to read!**

 **I know a lot of people wanted Erin and Jay to keep Audri, and I seriously considered the idea, but ultimately that's not where I pictured this story going when I first started writing, so I hope you're not too disappointed with this chapter...**

* * *

 **Chapter 19 - Where Are You Going?**

"Lindsay, Claire Conway is downstairs," Platt said as she approached Erin in the bullpen.

They had been working for about an hour and a half, and we're still getting nowhere with the case. As far as anyone could tell, the Pope's were model citizens. Matthew Pope had a steady job as an accountant and Alison Pope had been a stay at home mom. They were active members in their church community and got on well with their neighbours. The team couldn't find any hint of someone who might have wanted them dead.

"Thanks Sarge," Erin said as she got up. She looked over to where Jay sat at his desk with Audri on his knee, pointing at the colours on his computer screen. She motioned to him to stay here while she went down to talk to the aunt.

Erin made her way downstairs and her eyes fell upon a woman that could only be Alison Pope's sister. Her blond hair was cut to her shoulders and she looked slightly younger, but other than that they were very similar. She looked exhausted and a large suitcase stood next to her. Erin knew she'd been travelling all night and guessed she came straight from the airport.

"My name's Detective Lindsay," Erin introduced herself as she offered her hand to the woman.

"Claire Conway," the woman said, accepting her hand.

Erin motioned towards the empty office opposite the front desk saying, "Do you mind if I ask you a few questions?"

Claire shook her head and followed Erin into the room. They sat down.

"I'm so sorry about your sister and brother-in-law," Erin began, seeing the grief etched all over the young woman's face.

Claire sniffed slightly and dabbed at her eyes with a tissue. "I just can't believe any of this is happening," she said as her mouth quivered.

Erin reached out a hand and placed it on her shoulder comfortingly. "Were you close with your sister?"

Claire sniffed and nodded. "She was my best friend."

"I know it's difficult, but can you think of anyone who might've wanted to hurt them?" Erin hated having to question her when she was so upset, but knew the investigation wasn't getting anywhere fast.

Claire shook her head as a few tears leaked down her cheeks. "No, I can't think of anyone. They were so happy. Matt had just been offered a new job to be a big law firm's private accountant, and Ali was so in love with Audri. They were even trying for another baby. They wanted Audri to have a little brother or sister." More tears fell down her face and Erin felt a pang of grief for what Audri could have had. "Is Audri alright?" Claire asked, looking around for the little girl.

"She's fine," Erin reassured her. "She's upstairs with my partner at the moment."

Claire nodded and asked, "Does she know? About Matt and Ali?"

Erin shook her head and Claire put her head in her hands.

"How am I going to explain all this to her?" she moaned. Erin rubbed her shoulder comfortingly as Claire calmed herself down. "Can I see her?" Claire asked after taking a deep, steadying breath.

Erin nodded and said, "I'll go get her."

A few minutes later, Erin returned with Audri clinging to her hand. As soon as Audri saw her aunt, she released Erin's hand and flew into Claire's arms, squealing, "Aunt Claire!" Claire held her tight, clinging to the only family she had left.

"Hey Audri-bear," she whispered into Audri's hair.

Erin watched them, and even though it was an awful situation, she felt relief and reassurance. She could tell that Claire loved Audri very much and was sure she'd take good care of her.

"How about we go home, huh?" Claire suggested to Audri and the little girl nodded enthusiastically. "I can take her home can't I?" Claire asked Erin, who nodded.

"You just need to sign some paperwork with Sergeant Platt at the front desk saying we're releasing her into your custody. I'll stay with Audri," she said as Claire got to her feet.

"Thank you," Claire said, and she exited the room.

Once they were alone, Erin crouched down in front of Audri, taking her small hands into her own.

"This is goodbye now, Audri," Erin said, and felt a lump at the back of her throat. Although she hadn't even known the little girl for twenty-four hours yet, she had grown surprisingly attached to her.

"Goodbye?" Audri asked, her forehead crinkling in question.

"Yeah, your Aunt Claire is gonna take you home with her," Erin said, trying not to let the tears that were stinging her eyes spill down her cheeks.

Audri gazed into Erin's face with her big green eyes before flinging her small arms around Erin's neck and holding tight. Erin hugged her back before quickly tickling her under her arms. Erin knew if she held the girl any longer, she'd never want to let go. Audri giggled and squirmed as Claire came back into the room.

"Alright Audri-bear, let's go," she said, and held her hand out to the little girl. Audri took it and Erin stood up. "Detective," Claire began as Erin turned to face her. "Sergeant Platt's just told me what you did for Audri last night. I don't know how to thank you…" Claire trailed off, struggling to express the gratitude she felt.

Erin smiled at her and said, "It was no problem." She looked down at Audri before adding, "She's a sweetheart."

The three of them left the office and stood in front of the district's main doors.

Erin reached into her pocket and pulled out a small rectangular card. "If you think of anything else that might be useful for our investigation, please call me," she said as she held out the card.

Claire nodded once as she took the card before turning to lead Audri out of the district. Erin watched as they descended the front steps. Half way down, Audri turned and waved up at Erin, who waved back until they had rounded the corner and disappeared out of sight.

She felt a hand on her back and turned to see Jay standing just behind her. Erin smiled sadly up at him.

"She okay?" he asked, enquiring after Audri.

"Yeah, she'll be fine," Erin said, and was surprised to find that she actually believed it. "We just need to catch the bastards that did this."

Now she knew Audri would be alright, she could give her full attention to the case, and determination to find whoever did this coursed through her as she thought of the family that Audri had been robbed of.

"We might have a lead, Voight wants you back upstairs," Jay informed her and she looked up at him questioningly, wanting to know all the details.

"What kind of lead?" she demanded.

"The ballistics report came back. The bullet casings match those found at two other shootings from the last three months."

Erin took the stairs two at a time in her haste to get back to work and up to speed with the case. She and Jay entered the bullpen in time to see Dawson pinning two pictures up on the case board next to the pictures of Matthew and Alison Pope. Under one picture he wrote 'Andrew Kentworth' and under the other he wrote 'Simon Baker'.

Erin reached her desk as Dawson started briefing them.

"The same casings were found at each of these crime scenes," he said, pointing to the pictures. "We already know the connection between Kentworth and Baker. They both worked for the same law firm. But so far, there's nothing to link them to the Pope's."

Erin was suddenly struck by something Claire had just mentioned downstairs.

"Guys, Alison's sister just told me Matthew had been offered a new job as a big law firm's private accountant," she informed them all. They all leaned in closer as they finally began to piece together the case.

Just then, the district commander, Commander Crowley, emerged at the top of the stairs. They all watched as she made her way across the room, signalling to Voight she wanted to talk privately in his office. They didn't see her often, but the commander's appearance rarely came with good news.

She and Voight disappeared inside his office and the unit waited. They emerged a few minutes later, Voight looking displeased. Crowley crossed the room again and made her way back down the stairs without saying a word.

Voight stood and looked at them, his hands in his pockets and his expression sour.

"We're to turn everything we know about this case over to the gang unit," he informed them.

They all let out noises of displeasure and annoyance.

"Why!?" called Ruzek as he threw the stack of case notes he was holding onto his desk in frustration. "There's no way the Pope's were mixed up with a gang!"

"This law firm represented a big gang leader earlier this year and lost. The guy got life in prison for murder. The gang unit have intel that the he wants revenge and the gang is hitting back against the law firm. They're starting small. Kentworth worked in the copy room and Baker was an intern. But apparently it's all part of some much bigger plan. The Pope's were seen as an easy target apparently since only a few people knew of Matthew's job offer. Gangs have undercovers already in position, but they're playing the long game."

They all started gathering up their case notes, but Erin didn't move.

"If gangs knew the law firm was being targeted, why didn't they stop the hit on the Pope's? If they've got undercovers inside, they must've known it was coming. Why not get them into protective custody?" she questioned.

"You know as much as I do," Voight answered, looking at her.

"So they're just expecting us to pass the case over!?" she exclaimed.

"The commander's told us to stop our investigation, so that's what we've got to do," Hank replied calmly as Erin rolled her eyes at him.

"Yeah, and when have you ever done what you were told to do!?" she shot at him.

The rest of the unit exchanged nervous glances as they collectively held their breath. Erin was the only person who could ever get away with talking to Voight like that.

Voight could tell Erin was getting worked up and didn't want to make a scene.

"My office," he said to her.

Erin got up from her desk and stalked into his office, closing the door behind her with a little more force than was necessary.

Hank sat down behind his desk and Erin stood in front of him with her arms crossed.

"I can't believe you're just going along with this!"

Erin was struggling to keep her anger at the situation under control. They all hated it when another unit came in and took over their case, but this time it was different. Erin wanted justice for Audri, and she wanted to be the one to put the cuffs on the person responsible.

"I don't know what you expect me to do Erin. My hands are tied," Voight said to her, leaning back in his chair.

Erin exhaled with annoyance. She couldn't believe Voight was choosing now of all times to decide to follow the rules.

"Hank, that little girl deserves justice. If we just leave this to gangs, they'll only go after the leaders. I want the guy that pulled the trigger. Give us twenty-four hours to see what we can find…"

"No," Voight cut her off. She glared at him.

"Why?"

"You're too involved. You got attached to that little girl and now it's personal for you," Voight told her, making sure to keep eye contact.

"That's not true," Erin said, not quite believing what she was saying, but was determined not to go down without a fight.

"Can you honestly say if you caught the guy, you'd be able to think like a cop? You wouldn't want revenge for the kid?" Voight raised his eyebrows at her.

Erin pursed her lips and looked away, feeling her anger at Voight building surprisingly fast. Did he really think she wouldn't be able to control herself if she came face to face with the person that had robbed Audri of her parents?

"You should know me better than that," she said, her voice cold.

"Erin, I…" Voight began, but Erin cut him off.

"No! I don't understand what's with you lately! First, you don't send me to Vegas with Jay, and now you won't let me see this case through!"

Voight looked at her, shocked. She was shocked as well. She hadn't realised she was still bitter about Dawson going to Vegas instead of her until it had come out of her mouth.

"Erin, I didn't send you to Vegas because Dawson was more involved in that case. There was no point in sending you as well," Voight told her calmly, not wanting to argue with her. He knew Erin had been feeling under the weather lately and so was probably slightly more irritable than usual.

"But I'm Jay's partner!" she shot at him, her voice rising. "If I'd been there, he might never have been taken hostage!"

"Yeah! And if you had been there, I might've had two detectives in that room! So right now I'm glad as hell that I didn't send you, and I'd do it again!" Hank replied, his resolve to not get drawn into an argument fading as his temper ran out.

"Seriously Hank, you need to stop treating me like your daughter and more like a cop," Erin told Voight as she looked daggers at him.

Voight looked down, hurt by her words. Erin knew she'd probably gone too far, but right now she didn't care. Weeks of built up frustration and the stress of the last day, combined with feeling like throwing up, were catching up with her.

"Fine," Voight said finally. "Detective Lindsay, you are on desk duty until further notice."

"What!?" Erin glared at him, her eyes icy.

"You want to be treated the same as any other cop in this unit? Any other cop would be out of my office and on desk duty if they spoke to me like that. Now I think we're done here Detective," Hank said, motioning to the door.

Erin glared at him before saying, "Fine, _Sergeant_ ," putting emphasis on the last word. She turned on her heel and stalked out of the office.

* * *

"Uggghhh!" Erin moaned in frustration and threw the TV remote to the other end of the couch. She had been trying unsuccessfully for the last five minutes to pry the dead batteries out, finally giving up and hurling the remote away from her.

She checked the time on her phone. It had just turned nine pm. She wondered when Jay would be home.

After Erin had stormed out of Voight's office, she'd spent the rest of the day in a foul mood, doing paperwork with the rest of the unit and not talking to anyone. She had felt Jay's questioning eyes on her, but avoided being alone with him, not wanting to have to explain her argument with Hank. Towards the end of the day, the unit had been called to a crime scene. As they all prepared to set off, Voight reminded Erin that she was on desk duty, so she'd had to watch in frustration as the others all left without her.

She'd remained at the district for a little while longer, but Jay texted to say they wouldn't be back anytime soon, so she'd packed up and headed home.

She had been stewing over her argument with Voight all evening, knowing she shouldn't have lost her temper with him. She knew he didn't have a choice in the situation and she couldn't understand why she'd gotten so mad.

Erin pulled open the refrigerator and scanned it for something she could quickly reheat. Her eyes fell on the box of leftover Chinese food from a few nights ago and she felt her stomach churn at the thought of it.

She took a few deep breaths but the feeling wasn't going away. Erin crossed the room as fast as she could and made it to the bathroom just in time. She leaned over the toilet as she gave in to the nausea.

When she finally felt strong enough to stand up, she got to her feet and splashed her face with cold water as she rinsed her mouth out.

As Erin heard a key in the apartment door, she quickly dried her face before exiting the bathroom. She didn't want Jay to know she'd finally succumbed to the stomach flu he'd probably passed to her.

"Erin?" she heard him calling.

Erin rounded the corner to see Jay pulling off his jacket.

"Hey," she greeted him, leaning on the doorframe.

"Have you eaten yet?" Jay asked as his stomach rumbled loudly so that Erin could hear it from across the apartment.

"Ugh, yeah, I had something," Erin lied. She didn't think her stomach could handle food right now and she wasn't going to risk it.

Jay crossed to the refrigerator where he began to pull out various ingredients.

"So how was the crime scene?" Erin asked, trying to keep the note of jealousy out of her voice as she looked anywhere but at the food in Jay's hands.

"Brutal," Jay said as he began to prepare a quick stir fry. "Two beheadings and a disembowelment. Seriously, you're lucky you weren't there."

He'd said the wrong thing.

Erin suddenly felt frustration building up inside her at Jay's words.

"Lucky?!" she exclaimed and Jay jumped at her sudden change in demeanour. "So I'm lucky Hank put me on desk duty, huh?"

Jay sighed and rubbed a hand across his forehead. "That's not what I meant," he moaned tiredly, knowing he didn't have the energy for an argument.

It had been like this for the past few weeks. He'd make some comment without thinking, and Erin would fly off the handle at him. He had hoped Erin's mood swings were just due to stress and exhaustion combined with coming down with the stomach flu, but after Erin's argument with Hank earlier, Jay was beginning to get worried about her. Fighting with Hank was never a smart move.

"Oh yeah?!" Erin fired at him, continuing to argue even though it was clear Jay was in no mood for it. "Well what exactly did you mean then?"

Jay tried as best he could to keep calm and not get drawn into the argument that Erin seemed determined to have.

"I was just trying to say that it wasn't pretty. If I had a choice, I would rather not have seen it," he tried to explain.

"Well thanks to Hank I didn't get a choice, did I?" Erin's frustration had well and truly got the better of her. Deep down, there was some rational part of her that knew she was being totally unreasonable, but it was entirely overshadowed by her immediate annoyance at Jay and Hank.

"Erin, you yelled at Voight! I don't know what you expected him to do other than put you on desk duty!" Jay told her, exasperated. His patience was finally wearing out and he wasn't sure how much more he could take.

"Since when did you start agreeing with Voight?!" Erin shot at him, annoyed that he'd taken Hank's side.

"He's worried about you, and so am I!" Jay fired back. His words only seemed to infuriate Erin more.

"So you and Hank have been talking about me behind my back, have you?!" she demanded, her hands clenching and unclenching at her sides.

"We're just concerned, Erin," Jay told her in a gentler tone, but Erin had had enough.

"Well, if you and Hank seem to know what's best for me, why don't you spend the evening with him then, seeing as you're best buddies now!" she said angrily as she crossed the apartment to the front door.

"Erin where are you going?!" Jay shouted at her as she disappeared from his line of sight. He rounded the corner, emerging from the kitchen to see her yanking the apartment door open.

"For a walk!" she shouted back as she stormed out, slamming the door hard behind her.

Jay stared at the door, not quite sure about what had just happened or how they'd got there. He looked over the half completed stir fry, not in the least bit hungry anymore.

* * *

 **I hope you enjoyed this chapter - please leave a review letting me know what you think and what you'd like to see in the future :)**

 **Next chapter is called 'Two Minutes'**


	20. Chapter 20 - Two Minutes

Hello! I can't believe this story has over 150 followers and such lovely reviews! Thank you so much! :)

Enjoy...

* * *

 **Chapter 20 – Two Minutes**

Erin immediately regretting storming out on Jay almost as soon as she got in the elevator and jammed her finger into the down button, but her stubbornness and pride kept her from turning around and running into his arms to apologise. So instead she'd spent the last thirty minutes walking around the neighbourhood, trying to clear her head.

She thought about her mood over the last few weeks and sighed. It had been unpredictable to say the least, and it was no wonder Jay was fed up and worried about her. And now she'd started taking things out on Hank as well, judging from her argument with him earlier. Although, she thought he was being a little hypocritical, lecturing her about not getting personally involved in a case. But, she had to admit, he had a point and she couldn't understand why she was taking it so badly.

"What the hell's wrong with me?" she muttered under her breath as she ran her hands through her hair. Why was she being so grouchy and awful to the people she loved the most? Jay was probably in the process of packing up all his things right now, wanting to get as far away as possible from her. She knew she'd been a nightmare to live with recently, and commended Jay for his patience so far. She didn't think she would have been able to deal with all the crap she'd given him for so long if their positions had been reversed.

She glanced at her wrist watch. It was almost 10pm. Erin knew she should probably head home and start her grovelling apology to Jay, but something stopped her. She wasn't sure if she'd be able to keep her frustration at herself in check yet, and certainly didn't want to have another row with Jay right now.

Instead, she directed her footsteps to Nadia's building, knowing she wouldn't judge her, no matter how awful she'd been to Jay. Besides, her heart to hearts with Nadia always made things seem better and maybe it would be good to get a fresh perspective.

In less than no time, Erin was knocking on Nadia's apartment door, preying she was home. After a few seconds, Nadia pulled the door open saying, "Hey, you're ear–,"

She stopped abruptly, mid-sentence as she saw Erin before her.

Erin glanced around the empty corridor before saying suspiciously, "Were you expecting someone else?"

"No," Nadia said quickly, surreptitiously scanning the hallway behind Erin. "No, I was just, um, waiting for the pizza guy." She took in Erin's miserable expression and asked, "Hey, are you okay? What's wrong?"

Erin sighed and her shoulders sagged.

"I had a fight with Jay," she said, and all of a sudden tears began to flow down her cheeks. She covered her face with her hands and Nadia pulled her into a tight hug, concerned for her friend and her uncharacteristic display of vulnerability. Erin let Nadia lead her into the apartment and they sat down on the couch.

She was embarrassed by her breakdown and inwardly cursed at herself for being so over emotional. This wasn't like her.

She managed to compose herself and wiped her face with the tissue Nadia was holding out.

"Hey, things can't be that bad," Nadia said reassuringly, but Erin wasn't so sure.

"It's bad, Nadia. I stormed out and I've been so awful these last few weeks. I even fought with Hank earlier. I don't know what my problem is!" Erin sniffed, dabbing at her eyes.

Nadia watched as her friend stewed in her own despair.

"It's probably stress. You're overworked and tired and just taking it out on the people around you," she offered.

"But I'm always overworked and tired," Erin pointed out.

Nadia thought for a moment. "Maybe it's just the worry of what happened to Jay in Vegas finally catching up with you. It was only five weeks ago after all," she suggested.

Erin gave a non-committal shrug. Maybe Nadia had a point, but Erin was sure there must be something else going on. She was usually better at dealing with things like that.

"I don't know then," Nadia sighed, running out of ideas. "Maybe you're just majorly PMS-ing."

"Maybe," Erin agreed, leaning back on the couch, trying to work out where she was in her cycle to see if it was a possible explanation.

Erin sat up slowly and turned to look at Nadia, her eyes wide. She could feel her heart pounding in her chest.

"What's wrong?" Nadia asked in concern, alarmed by Erin's sudden change in demeanour.

Erin said nothing but continued to stare at Nadia.

"Erin come on, you're starting to scare me," Nadia pushed her.

Erin swallowed hard before saying quietly, "I'm late."

Nadia stared at her for a second before her eyes widened too as she realised what Erin was implying. "Late? As in late late?"

Erin nodded slowly, feeling shock radiating through her body.

"How late?" Nadia asked.

"I don't know," Erin breathed huskily as she shook her head. How had she not noticed?

"Think back, when was your last period?"

Erin thought for a few seconds. "Like, a few weeks before Jay went Vegas," she told her, as the realisation sunk in.

"Maybe it's the stress of everything messing you up," Nadia suggested, but Erin shook her head.

"Nadia, you know me. I'm never late."

Nadia sighed. She knew it was true from when they lived together and their cycles managed to synchronise. Erin's body ran like clockwork.

"Okay, well there's no point in panicking before we know for sure," Nadia said and she jumped to her feet and grabbed her purse from the coffee table.

"Where are you going?" Erin questioned, jumping at Nadia's sudden movement.

"I'm gonna run to the store to get a pregnancy test. You stay here and try to make yourself need to pee by the time I get back," Nadia said as she pulled a pair of boots on.

Nadia was out the door before Erin had a chance to process what she was saying. Erin leant back on the couch and ran her hands over her flat stomach. Could she really be pregnant? She thought she and Jay had always taken precautions, but now looking back, she knew there had been a number of times when it had all gone out the window in their moments of passion.

The nausea and mood swings suddenly all made sense now. "Well at least I'm not crazy," Erin thought to herself, feeling somewhat reassured that there could be a perfectly reasonable explanation for her recent attitude.

She got to her feet and crossed to the small kitchen. She pulled a clean glass from the draining board and filled it with water from the tap. She raise it to her lips with a shaking hand. Erin drained the glass in one go and was just refilling it when there was a knock on the apartment door.

Erin looked up in confusion. Nadia couldn't be back yet, she hadn't been gone long enough. She moved to look through the peep hole.

In the distorted view it gave, she could make out a familiar figure in the hallway.

"Mouse?" she said as she pulled the door open and Jay's old Ranger's buddy was revealed.

Mouse stared at her in alarm. He looked like a rabbit caught in the headlights.

"Oh, um, hey Erin," Mouse stammered. "Is, err, is Nadia in?"

"She had to run to the store, but she'll be back soon," Erin informed him. "D'you wanna come in and wait?"

"Oh, err, no. No it's okay. Um, just, err, just tell her I stopped by. Um… Bye then."

Mouse gave an awkward little wave before quickly retreating down the corridor and disappearing out of sight.

Erin stared after him and suddenly realised who Nadia had been expecting when she'd opened the door earlier, only to find Erin standing before her.

She smiled to herself as she closed the door. She'd never considered Nadia and Mouse as a couple before, but now she thought about it, it made a lot of sense. Sure they both had their demons, but Erin knew Nadia had a heart of gold, and from what Jay had told her about Mouse, he was the reason Jay had gotten through Afghanistan.

Erin sat deep in thought about Mouse and Nadia as she waited for the latter to return from the store. She was glad to have something else to concentrate on other than her possible pregnancy. There was a noise at the front door and Nadia was revealed a second later with a paper bag clasped in her hand.

"Okay, so there were about ten billion pregnancy tests to choose from, but I got the one that looked the best," she said as she pulled off her boots.

"Thanks," Erin said as she got to her feet. "You had a visitor by the way," she said casually and grinned as Nadia froze.

"Oh, really?" Nadia feigned ignorance as she hung up her jacket. "Who?"

"Mouse."

Nadia tried to look anywhere other than Erin's face.

"Nadia, relax," Erin told her. "I think you and Mouse are a great idea."

"Really?" Nadia asked. Erin's opinion meant so much to her.

"Yeah, Mouse is a great guy," Erin smiled at the look of relief on Nadia's face.

"We've only been out a few times so far, but I really like him," she blushed. "We were just gonna have a movie night tonight."

"Sorry I kinda ruined it," Erin apologised, feeling awful.

"Hey, this is way more important!" Nadia reassured her and glanced down at the paper bag still in her hand. "Now quit stalling and go take this test!"

Erin took the bag from her and disappeared into the bathroom, feeling less like there were butterflies in her stomach, rather a herd of elephants prancing around.

A few minutes later, Nadia heard the click of the bathroom door being unlocked and she hurried inside. Erin was perched on the side of the bathtub, her hands clasped in her lap and her gaze fixed on the little plastic stick that was sitting on the counter next to the sink.

Nadia balanced herself next to Erin and said, "how much longer?"

"Two minutes," Erin said, her voice shaking.

Their nervous energy filled the room as two minutes seemed to take an eternity. Finally, Nadia glanced at her watch and said, "time."

Erin took a few deep breaths but didn't move from her position. She couldn't seem to move her arms.

"You do it, I can't look," she said to Nadia. She twisted and untwisted her fingers anxiously as Nadia reached forward and picked up the plastic stick.

Nadia stared down at the little window on the front of the test. There was a moment of silence before Nadia spoke.

"It's positive."

Erin let out a long breath that she didn't realised she'd been holding.

"Positive?" she questioned, her voice even raspier than usual.

Nadia nodded and held the test out for Erin to see.

Erin took it and saw for herself that Nadia was right. She was pregnant.

She ran a shaking hand through her hair in shock.

"How d'you feel?" Nadia asked nervously, unsure as to how to read Erin's reaction.

"I don't know," Erin told her. It was the truth. She had absolutely no idea how she felt. All she could feel was her heart pounding in her chest.

She shot to her feet and made her way quickly from the bathroom, still clutching the test, her breathing rapid.

"Erin?" Nadia called, following her through the door.

"I need to go, I need to talk to Jay," Erin said breathlessly. There was a ringing in her ears, and fear and anxiety were making her brain feel foggy as she distractedly looked around the small apartment for her jacket or purse, before realising she hadn't brought anything with her.

Nadia crossed the short distance between them and placed her hands reassuringly on Erin's shoulders. She could tell Erin was working herself up into a panic and knew that was the last thing she should be doing.

"Erin, hey, look at me," she said as Erin's eyes continued to dart around the apartment. Instead Erin fixed her eyes on Nadia's. "Whatever happens, whatever you decide, I'm here for you, okay?"

Erin nodded and felt herself calm down a little. She took a few shaking breaths as Nadia pulled her into a tight hug.

They crossed to the apartment door. "I'll call you tomorrow," Nadia said as Erin stepped into the hall. They shared a nervous smile before Erin turned and walked down the corridor.

When she got outside, Erin wrapped her arms around herself. It was early September, but there was a definite chill in the night air and Erin wished she'd brought a jacket. She strode down the street, glancing at her watch. It was almost midnight.

Despite the late hour, the streets were far from empty. Erin could see and hear a rowdy group of men heading towards her, so crossed to the other side of the street. Her hand automatically went to her waist, wanting to feel the reassuring shape of her gun in its holster, before realising she'd left it on her bedside table when she'd got home earlier. She felt her jeans pockets for her phone, but could only feel the thin pregnancy test in the back left one. The image of her phone on the coffee table at home swam before her and she cursed herself for leaving it behind.

One of the men called out drunkenly to her, but she kept her head down and quickened her pace. Things like that didn't usually bother her, but being out late without her gun or her phone made her feel very exposed. Or maybe it was because she knew she didn't just have herself to worry about now.

* * *

 **I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Lots of people guessed that Erin was pregnant and the response has been really great, so I hope you like the direction I'm taking this story in.**

 **As always, please leave a review :)**

 **Next chapter is called 'I Need To Tell You Something'**


	21. Chapter 21- I Need To Tell You Something

**Hello everyone! Thanks for all the wonderful reviews for the last chapter - I can't believe I'm almost at 200! And I'm so glad people are happy that Erin's pregnant!**

 **Enjoy this next chapter... :)**

* * *

 **Chapter 21 – I Need To Tell You Something**

Jay paced the apartment. It had been hours since Erin had stormed out and Jay was beginning to get very nervous. He'd tried calling her, only to find her phone ringing on the coffee table in the living room.

He glanced at his watch and decided enough was enough. He would drive around the neighbourhood and if there was still no sign of her, he'd start calling their friends. If none of them had heard from her, then he could really panic. He was just grabbing his car keys when there was a noise at the apartment door and a second later, Erin was revealed.

"Where the hell have you been?!" Jay fired at her, his relief at her reappearance clashing with his frustration at her staying out so late.

Erin took in Jay's expression and guilt trickled into her. She could see how worried he'd been and knew it was all her fault.

"Jay I'm sorry. For everything. I should never have left and I shouldn't have taken things out on you and I'm so so sorry, please believe me," she apologised and begged to him.

Jay could hear the genuineness in her words and his frustration at her melted away as he saw how bad she felt. He crossed the room and pulled her into his embrace.

"It doesn't matter," he breathed into her hair. "I'm just glad you're back now."

"No, Jay, it does matter," Erin said as she pulled away from him. "You don't deserve the way I've been treating you and…"

Her words were lost as Jay caught her lips in a soft kiss, telling her wordlessly that he accepted her apology and everything was forgotten.

They broke apart but stayed close to each other. Erin took a few deep breaths, trying to work herself up to what she knew she needed to say.

"Hey, um, I need to tell you something," she said eventually, looking at his chest rather than his eyes.

"Okay," Jay said, his interest caught. "Is this an 'I'm being sent undercover in Bolivia for six months' kind of something, or…" he grinned, remembering their conversation from almost a year ago which had also started by her saying she needed to tell him something.

Erin glanced at his face quickly, before dropping her eyes again.

"Okay, Erin you're starting to scare me, what is it?" Jay said as his joke failed to draw a smile from her.

Erin swallowed hard and took a deep breath before raising her eyes to meet Jay's bright blue ones.

"I'm pregnant," she whispered.

She saw her own shock reflected in Jay's eyes. He ran a hand through his hair and leaned on the back of the couch for support.

"Pregnant?" he finally said and Erin nodded. "You're sure?"

Erin reached into her back pocket and pulled out the pregnancy test. Jay took it and stared down at it.

"Well, this explains the mood swings and nausea," he smiled weakly at her. He set the pregnancy test down and moved from the back of the couch and took both her hands into his. "How d'you feel about it?" he asked nervously.

Erin gazed into his eyes. "I don't know if I can do it Jay," she confessed hoarsely. "I know we said maybe one day, but right now? I'm not ready for a baby, I don't know the first thing about being a mom!" Tears were leaking down her cheeks as she revealed her deepest fear. "What if I turn out like Bunny?"

"I won't let that happen, Erin," Jay reassured her, squeezing her hands comfortingly. "You're so much stronger than Bunny. And besides, you and me, we're unstoppable! We chase down drug dealers and murderers for a living, how hard can a baby be?" he grinned at her.

Erin let out an involuntary gasp of laughter at his words and looked at him exasperatedly.

"Okay, I know it won't be as simple as that," Jay confessed. "But we're partners. We can do anything as long as we have each other, and I know we can do this. Besides, look how good you were with Audri. That girl loved you and she only knew you for a day. I know you'll be an amazing mom." He moved his hands to Erin's face and gently wiped away the last of her tears.

"I'm so scared Jay," Erin admitted in a terrified whisper.

"So am I," Jay told her. "But this is our baby Erin," he said as he moved his hands to her waist and rubbed his thumbs over the thin material of her shirt that covered her still flat stomach.

"And you're not mad at me? I mean, the timing's not great…" she began, but Jay cut her off.

"Why would I be mad at you?" he asked in disbelief that she could even think that. "This is as much my doing as it is yours. Besides, the woman I love is giving me the best gift I could have ever asked for. How can I be mad at that?"

Erin felt her heart expand with all the love she felt for Jay and his words that always made everything seem like it would be okay.

"We're really gonna do this?" she asked, letting his infectious excitement begin to fill her as well.

"We're really doing this," he confirmed, a massive grin spreading over his face as he lowered his forehead to rest on hers.

"We're having a baby," Erin said, and felt a smile claim her face too.

Their lips met in a soft, tender kiss. When they parted, Jay stared down into Erin's face and his whole body felt consumed with all the love he felt for her. They were going to be a family. A proper family. Jay knew what he had to do.

"Marry me Erin," he said, gazing deep into her eyes.

"What?" Erin breathed in shock, unsure if she'd heard him right.

"Marry me," he repeated, grinning at her astonished expression. "Wait, don't move," he said quickly, and ran across the apartment before disappearing into their bedroom.

He emerged a second later with a small velvet box clasped in his hand. He approached Erin, who felt her heart rate pick up at the realisation of what was in the box.

Jay stood before Erin, who was staring at him.

"Erin, I love you so much, and I've wanted to do this for a long time now, but I kept waiting for the perfect moment. Well, I don't know what's more perfect than the night you told me we're going to be parents. This is the start of the rest of our lives, and I want it all with you. So, Erin Lindsay," Jay bent down on one knee and opened the velvet box, "Will you make me the happiest man on earth and say you'll marry me?"

Erin stared down at Jay kneeling before her, her heart pounding.

There was a buzzing in her ears. Was this really happening? Was Jay, her partner, her rock, really asking to spend the rest of their lives together? She had never expected to fall in love with such a good man, such a caring, passionate man, and the knowledge that he was just as in love with her sent shivers up and down her back.

She gazed into Jay's bright blue eyes as he waited for her answer.

Erin's face broke into the biggest smile she thought she'd ever given as tears filled her eyes and she gasped, "Yes! Yes, I'll marry you!"

Jay extracted the ring from the box and slid it onto Erin's finger. It was a perfect fit. As he stood up, Erin threw her arms around his neck and crashed her lips onto his. She was overcome with joy.

Jay grasped at her, feeling as if he'd never known true happiness until now. Everything paled in comparison to this feeling. The feeling of the love of his life agreeing to spend the rest of their lives together and knowing their baby was on its way.

As they broke apart, Erin gazed down at her ring adorned hand, admiring the effect. Her breath caught in her throat as she recognised the ring.

"Jay, this is…"

Words failed her and fresh tears filled her eyes as she stared into Jay's smiling face.

Jay nodded.

"But how…?" Erin began, but again, the words seemed to get lost on the way out.

"I talked to Hank right after I got back from Vegas, and he gave me the ring. Told me to make you happy," Jay informed her, knowing what the ring meant to both Hank and Erin.

Erin was in a state of disbelief. Firstly, over Jay asking Hank's permission to marry her, and secondly, over Hank giving it.

"This is the best night of my life," she whispered as she and Jay gazed at each other.

They went to bed that night happier than either of them had ever thought possible. Erin crawled in beside Jay and snuggled into him as he pulled her closer.

"You know, if you'd told me this morning that I'd be going to bed pregnant and engaged, I would've said you were crazy," she grinned at him, her dimples deepening.

"It's been a day full of surprises," he grinned back.

"Hey, talking of surprises," Erin said as she remembered something. "You'll never guess who Nadia's dating?"

"Who?" Jay questioned, intrigued.

"Mouse!" Erin revealed, smiling.

"Really? Wow," Jay said, feeling happy for his friend. "Good for them."

"I know, right! It makes so much sense, I don't know why I didn't think of setting them up before," Erin continued, and Jay smiled to himself. He loved how happy she was for their friends.

As Erin yawned widely, Jay reached over and turned his bedside lamp off. The room was plunged into darkness. As their eyes adjusted, Erin held out her hand. They could just about make out its outline in the darkness, but the ring on her finger sparkled in the dim light of the city that penetrated through the curtains.

* * *

The next day was a Saturday, and they spent a lazy morning in bed, enjoying the glow of their engagement. Jay was rubbing his hand over Erin's flat stomach, excited at the prospect of their baby growing within her. Erin watched him in fascination as he caressed her.

"So when d'you wanna tell people?" Jay asked, lifting his gaze from Erin's belly.

"I don't know," Erin began and thought for a second. "I guess we should wait until we see the doctor and go from there," she decided. "Nadia knows, but she won't tell anyone."

"I could call Will, see what doctor he recommends? I mean, we want the best," Jay suggested.

Erin agreed on the condition that Jay made Will promise not to tell anyone, before she headed into the bathroom to take a shower.

Jay reached for his phone to make the call to Will.

Ten minutes later, Jay hung up. Will had been over the moon at the news of their engagement and pregnancy, and said he knew a doctor who owed him a favour. Jay was just waiting for him to confirm the time of their appointment.

He could still hear the sound of the shower running and decided to surprise Erin by having breakfast ready for her when she got out, so he headed into the kitchen and started pulling out ingredients from the refrigerator.

A while later Erin emerged from their bedroom, rubbing a towel through her wet hair. She caught sight of Jay cooking in the kitchen and grinned at his domestication. If this was what she had to look forward to for the rest of her life, bring it on, she thought.

The smell of frying bacon reached her and all of a sudden, nausea came crashing down on her. Jay caught sight of Erin standing in the living room with the towel in one hand and the other hand clasped over her mouth. She turned and rushed for the bathroom, making it just in time as she heaved over the toilet.

Jay rushed to her and crouched down to rub her back as another wave of nausea engulfed her. When the feeling had finally passed, she leaned back against the cool bathtub, her eyes closed.

"I guess the baby doesn't like bacon then," Jay joked and Erin rolled her eyes at him.

* * *

 **I hope you enjoyed this chapter and are happy for Erin and Jay! As always, please review and let me know what sort of pregnancy scenarios you'd like to see Erin and Jay face... :)**

 **The next chapter is called 'Seven Weeks'**


	22. Chapter 22 - Seven Weeks

**Hello! Thank you so much for all the reviews, the response to this story is so overwhelming, so thank you!**

 **Enjoy the next chapter... :)**

 **Chapter 22 – Seven Weeks**

Monday morning dawned dull and miserable as a light drizzle of rain fell over the city. Erin and Jay's deep breathing filled their bedroom as their alarm clock broke the silence. They both stirred and Jay reached out an arm to turn the sound off.

Erin rolled over and opened her eyes, her head still feeling foggy from the sleep she'd just been dragged out of. The familiar feeling of nausea settled in her stomach and, moaning, she swung her legs out of bed and disappeared into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her.

Jay felt a pang of sympathy for Erin. Her morning sickness had really taken a hold of her over the last few days, since finding out she was pregnant. Jay thought it probably had something to do with the fact that Erin knew what was causing the nausea now, and so simply couldn't just will it away with her stubbornness and refusal to give in to the stomach flu they'd thought she'd caught. It didn't just happen in the morning either. Since discovering that the baby didn't like bacon, they'd also found that the smell of bananas, scrambled eggs, fried chicken, and coffee also set Erin off.

An hour later, Erin and Jay were sitting in the waiting room in the doctor's office. Will had managed to pull a few strings and get them an early appointment with a well-known OB/GYN, so here they were, waiting to be called in.

Jay bounced his leg up and down as they waited. Erin gave him an irritated look and he stopped his fidgeting immediately. He knew Erin was suffering from her coffee withdrawal and was not in the best of moods. Usually by this time in the morning, she'd already had two cups and was onto her third, but the fact that the smell now made her want to throw up combined with it not being good for the baby meant that she'd had to quit cold turkey.

A middle aged woman in a white coat appeared in a doorway and looked around the waiting room.

"Erin Lindsay?" she called, and Jay and Erin turned their heads before getting to their feet.

The doctor gave them a friendly smile and led them into the room behind her.

"I'm Dr Adams, it's nice to meet you," she said as she extended her hand to Erin and then Jay.

"Hi, I'm Erin and this is Jay," Erin said motioning to herself and Jay.

"So, I understand you're pregnant?" Dr Adams asked, entering a few details on her computer screen.

Erin nodded. "I took a home pregnancy test and it came back positive."

"Okay then," the doctor smiled. "If you could just change into this gown for me," she said, handing Erin a folded gown and indicating the curtain she could change behind.

Erin disappeared behind it and emerged a few minutes later wearing the gown.

"Excellent," Dr Adam's smiled. "Now just hop up onto the bed here and we'll get started.

Erin did as she was told and Jay took his position beside her head while Dr Adams busied herself with the various machines and equipment. The doctor approached and Erin had a few moments of discomfort before black and white images began to pop up on the computer screen. Dr Adams began to study them as Jay and Erin stared, not having a clue what they were looking at. The doctor smiled at them.

"Everything looks great," she said, and Erin and Jay breathed a sigh of relief. "Now, it's unlikely we'll hear a heartbeat this early on, but if you look here," she pointed to a tiny blob on the screen. "That's your baby."

Erin and Jay stared in awe. The reality that this was actually happening hit Erin as she gazed at the image of their developing baby. She looked at Jay and smiled widely at the look of wonder on his face. He met her eyes and lowered his face to hers, placing a loving kiss on her lips.

The doctor smiled at them. "I'll be able to give you a better estimate of how far along you are at your next appointment, but I'd guess you're about seven weeks gone. Does that sound about right?"

Erin nodded. "Yeah, that fits," she replied hoarsely.

"Have you been experiencing any morning sickness or other symptoms?" Dr Adams asked, and Jay and Erin grimaced.

"Uh, yeah, I've had some pretty bad morning sickness, especially over the last few days, and I've been a little grouchy," Erin informed her.

Jay let out a short breath of laughter. "That's an understatement," he said, and Erin grinned at him embarrassedly.

The doctor smiled understandingly.

"The good news is the morning sickness is likely to only last for your first trimester," she assured them. "I'd suggest sticking to plain food for the most part, maybe try some dry toast before you get up in the morning." Erin nodded, welcoming the suggestion. "The bad news is the mood swings are here to stay I'm afraid. It's all due to the changing hormone levels in your body and there's not much that can be done about it," the doctor smiled apologetically. "A little extra understanding and patience will go a long way," she smiled at Jay, who nodded in acceptance that he was just going to have to grin and bear Erin's mood swings. "There's not much to see, but would you like a picture of the ultrasound?" Dr Adams asked as Erin sat up and straightened her gown.

Jay answered before Erin had a chance. "Definitely," he said and Erin smiled at him.

"Okay, two copies?" the doctor asked, getting to her feet.

"Actually, can we have three?" Jay asked and Erin looked at him questioningly. "One each for us and one for Hank," he told her, and Erin felt herself melt inside at his consideration of the second most important man in her life. They'd already decided that they had to tell Hank about the baby right away. Erin remembered how it had felt keeping her relationship with Jay secret from her father-figure, and didn't want to go through it again, plus they were dying to share their news with somebody else.

"Three it is," the doctor confirmed. "I'll get them printed while you change," she said to Erin and disappeared from the room. Erin lowered herself off the table and retreated behind the curtain to change back into her own clothes.

Dr Adams returned and handed Jay the small black and white images as Erin emerged, fully dressed.

"If you head out to reception you can make your next appointment," she smiled at them. "Any worries or questions, please don't hesitate to call."

Erin and Jay thanked her for seeing them so soon and exited the room, heading for the front desk. They booked their appointment for five weeks' time and made their way to the car.

* * *

"You ready for this?" Jay questioned nervously as he and Erin sat in the car in the district parking lot.

"As I'll ever be," Erin replied, and they climbed out of the car and hurried into the district, their hoods pulled up over their heads to protect from the drizzle that had turned into heavy rain.

They shook off the water droplets that had landed on them as they stood inside the front door and made their way up to the bullpen. Erin had a similar feeling as she did on the morning she and Jay had planned to reveal their relationship to Voight. Of course, the later events of that day would forever haunt both of them, and Erin could only hope that this day would have a better ending.

They were the first in, as they knew they would be. They had come straight here after leaving the doctor's office, so were over thirty minutes early. Hank was already in, of course, and they could see him sitting at his desk, his office door closed.

Erin took a deep breath and Jay gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. She gave his a light squeeze back before knocking on the door. They heard Hank call to come in, and Erin moved forwards to enter the office. Jay stayed outside while Erin went in, knowing she wanted to talk to him alone before they revealed their news.

"What can I do for you Detective?" Hank greeted her, raising his eyes from a long document he had been reading.

Erin took another deep breath.

"Hank, I need to apologise," she began.

"You're damn right you need to apologise," Hank told her. Erin could tell he was still pissed at her for what she'd said last week, and in all honesty, she couldn't blame him. "I don't care who you are, nobody in my unit speaks to me like that."

Erin felt ashamed and annoyed at herself. "You're right, I was out of line and I should never have said those things. I'm sorry."

Hank studied Erin from across his desk. He knew this apology was hard for her, her ingrained stubbornness making it torture to admit she was wrong sometimes. He had planned on punishing her for longer, but now as she stood before him, he suddenly realised he didn't need to and all his annoyance at her faded away.

"It's already forgotten," he told her gruffly, and he saw the gratitude in her eyes. She raised a hand and ran it absentmindedly through her short hair, and Hank noticed something shining on one of her fingers.

He stood up from behind his desk and made his way to stand in front of Erin, hardly containing the smile that had spread across his face.

"Does this mean Halstead finally got on with it? I've only been waiting on him for over a month," he smiled as he motioned to Erin's raised hand.

Erin realised what he was referring to and grinned, her heart swelling as Hank looked at her with pride. She looked down at Camille's ring on her finger, and tears filled her eyes.

"Hank…" she began in a voice full of emotion and gratitude. She shook her head. "I don't know how to thank you…" she whispered. "Camille's ring… I…" Words failed her.

"Camille would be so happy for you," he said, taking her hand into his. "Congratulations, kid." Erin was one of the few people that could draw a true smile from Hank, and he was beaming at her right now. She reached and pulled him into a tight hug, trying to communicate all the things she didn't know how to express in words.

"I'm proud of you," Hank said as they pulled apart. "You've come a long way from that scrawny teenager who picked a fight wherever she went," he smiled at her, and Erin rolled her eyes at the memory of her younger self.

"It's all thanks to you," she said, and she truly meant every word. She knew full well that if Hank hadn't taken her in, she probably wouldn't be alive today, let alone engaged to the love of her life and happier than she thought she could ever be.

"I'm glad you found someone that makes you happy," Hank smiled. "Even if it is Halstead."

Erin grinned at him, knowing that although Hank would never admit it, he had grown to consider Jay as his own family now.

"I guess I should let you off desk duty after this," Hank said. "Consider it an engagement present."

Erin rolled her eyes at him.

"Homicide has taken over the case from the crime scene we caught at the end of last week, so you're all doing paperwork anyway until something new comes in," he told her.

Erin motioned to Jay through the office window as she said, "Hank, there's something else we need to tell you."

Jay entered the office and Hank looked at them expectantly.

Erin reached into her pocket and pulled out the small black and white image the doctor had given them earlier that morning and held it out to Hank. Jay slipped an arm around her waist as Hank took the photo and Erin stood back. Hank studied the image.

"Does this mean what I think it means?" he asked, feeling joy mingling with shock.

Erin and Jay nodded their heads, their smiles dominating their faces.

"How far along?" he asked, his smile matching theirs.

"About seven weeks," Erin informed him.

"Congratulations, both of you," Hank said, shaking Jay's hand and clapping him on the back.

"Thank you Sir," Jay said, slightly overwhelmed by Hank's enthusiasm and delight.

"You realise you're back on desk duty," Hank said, turning to Erin.

"Hank, that's not necessary…" Erin began but Hank cut her off.

"It's completely necessary," he interrupted. "It's not just about you now Erin, and I will not be responsible for putting my grandkid in danger."

"Thank you," Jay said, motioning to Hank. Erin knew he wholeheartedly agreed with what Hank had just said, and it had been a source of disagreement between them over the last few days.

Erin knew they had good points, but she was still determined to argue her case.

"I know, Hank, I just don't see why I need to be on desk duty the whole time. I mean, I can still go to crime scenes and make house visits. I'll go out of my mind if I'm just stuck behind a desk."

Hank considered her. He couldn't blame her for wanting to be active, but he would never forgive himself if something happened to the baby and he could've stopped it. Finally, he agreed to a compromise.

"Okay, but you will not respond to emergency calls over the radio or go out on busts. If I say no, I expect you to listen to me. You do not enter a building first or without backup, and if I tell you to get out, then you get yourself out of there. Do you understand?" He held eye contact, trying to communicate the importance of his words.

"I understand Hank, thank you," she assured him, knowing it was the best offer she was going to get. "Um, we'd also like to hold off from telling people yet, just until after the next scan, to be on the safe side."

Hank nodded understandingly. "We'll say you're on probation for last week."

Erin knew they would have to give some reason why she wasn't on full duty, and this was as good a reason as any, but didn't like the thought of the guys thinking she was in trouble. Of course, if Hank hadn't forgiven her so easily, there was a very good chance that the lie might be the truth, and that didn't cheer Erin at all. She reluctantly agreed to the cover story, and she and Jay made their exit.

Erin couldn't stop herself from smiling for the rest of the day, and every time she looked up from her desk, she saw that Jay had an identical grin plastered across his face too. It wasn't just that they were engaged and expecting a baby, it was the fact that Hank was happy for them. Hank's approval meant everything to Erin and she was so relieved at how excited he was at the prospect of having another grandchild on the way.

* * *

 **I hope you enjoyed this chapter :) as always, please leave a review letting me know what you think...**

 **The next chapter is called 'May I Have This Dance?' (*spoiler* - it's Adam and Kim's wedding!) :D**


	23. Chapter 23 - May I Have This Dance?

**Hello! I hope everyone had a good week, not long till CPD returns! I've watched the first promo about 20 times now!**

 **I meant to upload this chapter yesterday but since it was a bank holiday here in the UK, I completely forgot and thought it was Sunday! Anyway, I've remembered now so enjoy... :)**

* * *

 **Chapter 23 – May I Have This Dance?**

Jay slid his key into the lock of the apartment door and turned it. He let himself in, moving slowly and carefully so as not to accentuate the pounding in his head. Erin had the lights on in the apartment and the brightness assaulted his eyes.

"Hey, how was the party?" Erin called from the breakfast table where she was eating a bowl of cereal, one of the only things that didn't make her feel nauseous.

Jay didn't answer, giving her a single look to communicate how bad he felt. Last night had been Adam and Kim's respective bachelor and bachelorette parties. The boys had gone paint-balling before spending the night drinking at Molly's, while the girls had had a relaxing spa day before heading to various bars in the city.

"That good huh?" Erin smiled as Jay gingerly laid down on the couch, placing an arm over his sensitive eyes.

"I don't know what we were drinking, but I'm never doing it again," he moaned. Atwater had been in charge of organising Adam's party, and had insisted they all drink a cocktail of his own invention. That was the last thing Jay could remember before waking up face down on Adam's couch this morning, the hangover of the century looming over him. "How was your night?" he asked Erin.

"It was good," she said. "Nadia and I left early, but I don't think Kim noticed."

Kim, Erin, Nadia, the girls from the firehouse and Kim's flight attendant friends, as well as Sergeant Platt who invited herself, had visited four bars before Erin decided to call it a night. By that time, everyone else was slightly worse for wear, except for Nadia of course, so didn't notice when the two women quietly made their excuses and left.

Kim had sent Erin a rather explicit picture later on that night and Erin gathered that the group had made their way to a male strip club. She felt a slight pang of regret that she was missing the fun, but since finding out she was pregnant, Erin really didn't feel like spending the whole night partying. Of course, only Nadia knew the truth behind Erin's change in behaviour, and she'd managed to explain her sudden aversion to alcohol and coffee by saying she was trying out a new detox regime.

Erin looked over at Jay suffering on the couch, and got up to get him a glass of water and an aspirin, remembering how he'd taken care of her when she'd been hungover.

"I can't believe they're getting married in a week," Erin said as she handed Jay the glass. "It's come around so fast."

"I know," Jay smiled at her, sitting up and taking a big gulp of water. "And then it's our turn."

Warmth spread over Erin at his words, and she felt the now familiar shape of the engagement ring on her finger. After a lot of discussion, they had decided to wait until after the baby was born to have the wedding, as Erin really didn't think she could cope with having to plan a wedding and prepare for a baby at the same time. She'd already agreed to take Jay's last name domestically, but had decided to keep her own name in a professional capacity. It was just easier if she remained Detective Lindsay at work. It would get confusing if they were both called Detective Halstead.

Erin smiled back at Jay and settled herself on the couch next to him.

"How're you feeling this morning?" Jay asked, taking in the outline of Erin's figure. She hadn't started showing yet, but Erin's breasts were already looking fuller. Jay felt a little guilty about enjoying that side effect of the pregnancy, knowing Erin was finding them increasingly sensitive.

"Same as usual," Erin replied, rubbing a hand absentmindedly over her stomach.

She was still having to deal with her morning sickness every day, something that hadn't gone unnoticed at work. Just the other day, she'd had to force Atwater to pull the car over so she could throw up on the side of the road while they were on their way to interview a witness. A few days before that, Antonio had treated them all to meatball subs for lunch, bringing them up to the bullpen before handing them out. Erin had made a mad dash for the bathroom when he came towards her, the sight and smell of the sandwich thoroughly disagreeing with her stomach.

"It'll only be for a few more weeks, and then you'll be into your second trimester," Jay reassured her, rubbing her inner thigh soothingly. Jay seemed to have bought every pregnancy book under the sun, and studied them religiously each night, wanting to know exactly what was going on inside Erin's body and be able to help her however he could. Erin really appreciated his dedication. It made her feel a lot better knowing at least one of them felt prepared.

* * *

Six days later saw Erin and Jay making the long car journey out of the city to the fancy hotel that would be the location of Adam and Kim's wedding reception the next day. They checked in and made their way up to their room, wanting to settle in before the rehearsal dinner that evening.

"We've been here, what, thirty minutes and the bathroom already looks like a bomb's hit it," Jay called to Erin, reappearing in the bedroom. "How d'you manage to spread your stuff everywhere so quickly?" he asked, grinning amusedly at her outraged expression.

"Shut up!" she called back from the other side of the room where she was hanging clothes in the closet.

Jay crossed the hotel room in a few strides and pulled her into his embrace. She wrapped her arms around his waist as he pushed her loose hair out of her eyes, resting his hands either side of her face.

"I wouldn't change you for the world," he said softly, gazing into her hazel eyes. "No matter how messy you are."

She smiled lovingly at him, her dimples deepening. She stood on tiptoe so her lips met his in a soft kiss.

"Y'know, if I had my way, we wouldn't be spending our one-year anniversary at dinner with a bunch of other people," Jay smiled sadly at her.

Erin raised her eyebrow suggestively. "Oh yeah? What would we be doing?" she asked in a seductive tone.

"Wouldn't you like to know," Jay whispered as his lips brushed hers tantalisingly. Erin smiled before their lips met again. Their kiss quickly became more urgent and passionate as their hands roamed each other's bodies.

Suddenly, a door flew open and Nadia burst into the room, exclaiming, "How awesome is this hotel?! The shower has, like, six different settings and our bath towels are folded into swans! SWANS!"

Nadia bounced on the spot with excitement as Mouse appeared in the doorway behind her, looking amused at his girlfriend's delight.

Jay grinned down at Erin, who was still standing in his embrace. "Remind me again why we got connecting rooms?" he asked as Erin rolled her eyes, knowing that their impromptu anniversary celebrations would have to wait.

* * *

The next day dawned bright and clear with late September sunshine and the wedding went off without a hitch.

As Erin was a bridesmaid and Jay a groomsman, they were paired up to start the procession down the aisle. As music began to play, Jay held an arm out to Erin, who took it, and they made their way past the rows of people. Erin's bridesmaid dress flowed around her, the thin, pink material clinging in all the right places and accentuating her fuller than usual breasts. Jay's tongue had practically fallen out of his mouth when he first saw her.

As they made their way down the aisle, Jay inclined his head towards Erin so only she could hear him. "I'm gonna rip that dress off you later," he whispered, and Erin felt her heart flutter with excitement as she tried to suppress a grin. They hadn't managed to celebrate their anniversary the way they wanted to the night before, as the rehearsal dinner had run late, and by the time they got back to their room they both felt too exhausted to do more than undress and go straight to sleep.

Erin lowered her voice as she replied, "Jay, we're in a church," reminding him that this might not be the best place to voice his less than pure thoughts.

They reached the end of the aisle and parted, standing on separate sides as they waited for the rest of the wedding party to join them.

Adam looked to be the happiest man alive as Kim glided down the aisle towards him, her white dress trailing behind her and her face covered by a thin veil. Erin looked over to Jay, tears of happiness sparkling in her eyes, silently communicating how much she loved him and how she couldn't wait for their own wedding day.

After the ceremony, the guests returned to the hotel and waited for the newlyweds to make their entrance. Adam and Kim arrived and took to the dance floor for their first dance.

Hours later, the party was in full swing, and the band had just finished playing an upbeat, jazzy number to begin a slower, more romantic tune. Jay appeared next to the table where Erin sat people watching. He set down the fresh drinks he'd just got them and held out his hand to her.

"May I have this dance?" he asked, grinning his signature grin at her.

Erin smiled and took his hand, getting to her feet. They'd hardly seen each other all evening, what with their respective bridesmaid and groomsman duties keeping them busy.

They made their way to the dance floor and started swaying in time to the slow music, each enjoying the closeness of the other. Their bodies were pressed tightly together, and electricity crackled between them. Erin could feel the pressure of Jay's hand resting on her lower back. It would occasionally slide slightly lower before returning to its original position, something that Erin was finding very sensual.

Erin's larger than usual breasts were pressed against Jay's chest, and he could feel them moving up and down every time she breathed. He was struggling to keep his desire under control and wanted nothing more than to rip Erin's bridesmaids dress from her body and bury himself within her. Their eyes met and they shared a look burning desire for one another. Erin felt her heart flutter at the look in Jay's eyes, astounded that he could still make her feel like the only woman in the world. She couldn't hold back any longer, and leaned forwards to whisper seductively in his ear.

"We should get out of here," she breathed, pulling back to raise a tantalising eyebrow at him.

Jay didn't need telling twice. He led Erin from the dance floor and strode quickly for the door, Erin trailing behind him still holding onto his hand, ignoring the strange looks they got from a few people as they cut determinedly through the crowds. They reached the calm of the hotel lobby and headed straight for the elevators, Jay jamming his finger into the up button.

The elevator seemed to take an eternity to arrive, but when it did, it was mercifully empty. They rushed inside, Jay absentmindedly pushing the number for their floor as the doors slid shut. As soon as they were out of sight from the lobby, Jay pulled Erin to him and they were entwined in a passionate embrace, their tongues exploring each other's mouths. Erin's hands went to Jay's hair, her fingers running through the short bristles. Jay's hands roamed over Erin's body, now free to linger wherever they wanted. They grasped at each other, as if these were the last minutes they would ever spend together.

The elevator dinged and Jay momentarily looked up to check they were at the correct floor. He saw they were still a few levels below their own, but the doors were sliding open anyway. Erin and Jay shot apart and tried to look as casual as possible as an older couple hobbled inside the elevator. Erin could feel her lips were swollen from their passionate kiss, and could still taste him in her mouth. She could see her lipstick smeared across Jay's lower face and wondered what on earth the old couple must be thinking. She was breathing hard, and wanted nothing more than to be back in Jay's arms. Her heart was pounding in her chest and she thought it might explode with all the love and desire she was currently feeling.

The elevator seemed to crawl upwards and took forever to finally reach their floor. When it did, Erin and Jay shot out and down the corridor, counting off rooms. Jay fumbled with the key card, almost dropping it in his desire to enter the room. Finally, the door opened and they crashed inside, not bothering to turn any lights on as their lips were reunited and the door swung shut. The only light came from the moonlight shining in through the large windows, illuminating their entwined silhouettes as they stumbled backwards and collapsed onto the bed.

Jay pulled up, gazing down at Erin lying beneath him. His startlingly blue eyes seemed to pierce right through her, staring directly into her soul and loving her all the more for what he saw. She had never felt more wanted or more desirable than she did in that moment.

Jay lowered his face to Erin's once again.

"Happy anniversary," Erin breathed into Jay's shoulder as his mouth began to nuzzle at the sensitive area on her neck. He parted his lips and began to suck lightly on her delicate skin, knowing the feeling drove her crazy. The rest of the night was lost in a whirlwind of passion.

* * *

Erin and Jay awoke the next morning still feeling satisfied from the night before. They hadn't made it back to the party and sincerely hoped no one had noticed their absence. They dressed quickly and made their way down to breakfast.

The breakfast room was filled mostly with guests from the wedding, although Adam and Kim were absent, having already left on their honeymoon. Erin felt a slight twinge of regret that they hadn't seen them off, but didn't feel too bad, thinking back to the fun she and Jay had been having instead.

They helped themselves to the self-service breakfast and headed towards a large table where Nadia, Mouse, Kevin, Antonio, Platt and Mouch were tucking into their food.

"Hey," Nadia greeted Erin as she sat down next to her. "Where'd you two disappear to last night?"

Erin felt pang of alarm before vaguely making the excuse, "Oh, you know, around, just mingling."

She took a sip of orange juice as Nadia leaned closer and whispered so only Erin could hear, "Oh yeah? Well that hickey on your neck says otherwise."

Erin almost spat out her mouthful of juice as she raised a hand to the side of her neck where Jay had sucked last night. She felt heat rising in her cheeks as Nadia tried to contain her amusement at Erin's horror.

"Must've been some fun mingling," Nadia smirked, and Erin rushed back upstairs to cover up the love bite.

* * *

 **I hope you enjoyed this chapter :) I originally wrote a version with the whole wedding ceremony, but since this isn't a Burzek fanfic, I decided to cut it and focus just on the Linstead moments - I hope you don't mind too much! I'm going to use a lot of it for Erin and Jay's wedding when it gets here, so you will get to read it eventually!**

 **As always, please review, I love reading all the feedback :)**

 **Next chapter is called 'How Did You Know?'**


	24. Chapter 24 - How Did You Know?

**Hello! Sorry for not getting this uploaded earlier, I've had a pretty rough few days so I'm only just getting around to it.**

 **As always, thank you so much for all the great reviews, it means so much :)**

 **Enjoy...**

* * *

 **Chapter 24 – How Did You Know?**

"Jay," Erin said in a loud whisper, lightly prodding the sleeping man next to her. Jay stirred and blinked his eyes blearily open. "Jay," Erin repeated a little louder this time, and Jay turned his head to stare groggily at her.

"What's wrong?" he asked vaguely, rubbing a hand over his face, trying to wake himself up.

"I really want a cheeseburger," Erin said, smiling angelically at Jay.

"Erin, it's…" Jay checked his phone, "three-thirty in the morning. You cannot eat a cheeseburger now."

"But I really want one Jay," she whined, giving him her best puppy-dog expression.

Jay sighed, knowing he was fighting a losing battle.

"Fine," he gave in, "but this better not be a repeat of the other night," he said, swinging his legs out of bed.

"It won't be, and I promise, this is the last time," Erin smiled happily as Jay pulled on a t-shirt and grabbed his wallet.

Last week, Erin had been struck by a sudden midnight craving for peanut butter ice cream, and the vanilla they had stored in the freezer just wouldn't cut it. So she'd sent Jay out on a wild goose chase for the specific type she wanted. He'd had to go to three different stores before he finally found it, and when he got back, Erin was fast asleep. The ice cream was still sitting in the freezer where Jay had deposited it.

As annoying as it was, Jay couldn't refuse her. She was growing another human inside her after all, so the least he could do was give her what she wanted, he thought.

Thirty minutes later, Jay wearily climbed the stairs up to his and Erin's apartment, not wanting to wake the whole building with the rattling elevator. He headed straight for their bedroom and found that, once again, Erin had fallen asleep.

He stood and watched her slowly and steadily breathing in and out, her lips slightly parted, her long lashes dark against her cheeks. She was curled up on top of the covers and was wearing a tight tank top and shorts as pyjamas. Jay's eyes fixed on her belly. He could just about make out the tiny beginnings of a baby bump under her tank top, but only, he thought, because he knew her body so well. Nobody else would notice it, and it certainly wasn't visible under her regular clothes.

Jay approached his sleeping fiancé and lightly shook her arm. Last time, Erin had been pissed that he hadn't woken her up upon returning with the ice cream, so now he was going against all his instincts as he tried to wake her.

She stirred and looked up at him.

"What?" she questioned groggily.

"I've got your cheeseburger," Jay said, holding up the McDonald's bag. "I can put it away for tomorrow if you want?"

She sat up and tried to gather her bearings, the memory of her most recent craving coming back to her. To Jay's utter dismay, Erin's eyes travelled from the bag of food in his hand to the bags under his eyes, before she suddenly burst into tears.

Jay flung the food on the bedside table and leapt onto the bed to take Erin into his arms.

"Hey, what's wrong?" he soothed as Erin continued to sob.

"I fell asleep again!" she cried, and buried her face in her hands.

Jay was in a state of utter confusion, having no idea what the problem was but suspecting that it had something to do with Erin's pregnancy hormones making her overly emotional.

"I'm just the worst person ever," Erin moaned into her hands. "I make you go out for food in the middle of the night and then can't even stay awake long enough to eat it!"

"Erin, hey, look at me," Jay said as he placed his hands either side of Erin's face and tilted it up so she had no choice but to look into his eyes. "It doesn't matter, okay?"

"It does matter Jay!" she cried before pulling out of his grip. She hung her head in shame, tears still cascading down her cheeks. "I'm an awful fiancé! You should just leave now, while you still can, go on, I won't blame you!"

Jay wrapped his arms protectively around Erin, pulling her to him so she was sitting in between his legs, her face pressed into his chest, her tears making a wet patch on his t-shirt. He whispered sweet words of love into her hair and assured her there was nowhere else he'd rather be than by her side, as she slowly calmed herself down. This wasn't the first time Erin's pregnancy hormones had made her over emotional, and Jay had learnt that the best way to deal with it was just to hold her and comfort her until it passed.

The first time it happened, Jay had been slightly alarmed at the sight of the tears rolling down his usually in-control partner's face, and couldn't for the life of him work out what had upset her. It had been lunch time and they'd decided to treat the unit to sandwiches from the shop on the corner of the street. Jay had run in to pick up their order while Erin waited outside, the smell of the food not quite agreeing with her. Jay had emerged to see Erin standing in the middle of the sidewalk, staring at a poster for a dog shelter charity pasted on the side of a city bus that was stuck in traffic, sobbing her heart out. Jay had rushed to her, anxious to find out what was wrong. Erin simply lifted an arm and pointed to the picture of the scrawny dog. The caption read, "My owner didn't love me… Will you love me?" and gave the phone number and web address of where people could donate money.

"That poor dog!" Erin had sobbed.

She had seen the funny side of it later on, admitting that she had probably overreacted to the poster just a little. When Jay had gently teased her about it, she'd replied, "Well I'd like to see what kind of thing you'd cry over if you had all these different hormones floating around your body!" and that kept him quiet for a while.

After Erin had calmed down, Jay placed the no longer wanted cheeseburger in the refrigerator, before climbing into bed beside Erin, who had already fallen back to sleep. Their alarm clock went off only a few hours later and they were both pulled reluctantly out of their slumber. Excitement quickly replaced any tiredness they felt however, as they remembered that today was the day of their next baby scan.

They dressed quickly in the October sunlight streaming through the bedroom window, Erin pulling on her favourite pair of jeans, knowing she soon wouldn't be able to fit into them. They left the apartment and headed to the doctor's office, nervous excitement filling them.

* * *

"So, how've you been feeling, any pain or discomfort?" Dr Adams asked as Erin lay back on the bed, pulling her shirt up over her stomach.

"No, none," Erin replied, wincing as the doctor squeezed a cold jelly-like substance onto her belly.

"Excellent," the doctor smiled, and began to move the ultrasound monitor over Erin's tiny baby bump, inspecting the images that appeared on her computer screen. "Everything seems to be developing as it should be," she smiled, and Erin and Jay leaned forward to look at the screen.

Erin felt her breath catch in her throat as she stared at the black and white image. Last time, the baby had been little more than a white blob, but now she could clearly make out the head, a tiny nose protruding slightly, and legs with adorable little feet. She felt tears stinging her eyes but for once thought that her emotion had nothing to do with her pregnancy hormones. She was staring at her unborn child, and the pure love that filled her entire being was overpowering and shocking. It seemed to consume every inch of her. How was it possible that she already had so much love for this tiny person that she hadn't even met yet? She wrenched her eyes away from the image of her baby to meet Jay's gaze. He too had tears glistening in his eyes and she knew he was experiencing the exact same feelings as she was.

Dr Adam's smiled at their reactions before taking a few measurements. When she'd finished she looked up and said, "From these measurements, and the results of your last appointment, I estimate your due date to be April 20th."

"April 20th," Erin smiled, trying to do the math in her head. It was only just over six months away.

The doctor printed out the best images for them to keep and they made their way through the early morning Chicago traffic to the district, feeling as though they were floating on a cloud, such was their happiness.

They waited patiently as the other members of the unit slowly made their way up to the bullpen, Atwater stifling a yawn and Ruzek looking very tanned. He and Kim had returned from their two-week honeymoon in Dubai a few days ago, full of stories of how wonderful it had been.

"Hey Ruzek, is Kim downstairs?" Erin asked as Ruzek hung his jacket over the back of his desk chair.

"Should be, how come?" Adam replied, sitting down.

"I just wanna talk to her is all," Erin shrugged as she got to her feet.

She quickly made her way downstairs, wanting to talk to Kim before Platt sent her and Roman out on patrol.

"Hey Kim!?" she called as the officers were handed their squad car keys.

Kim turned to see her friend motioning her towards the bottom of the stairs. She gave Platt a nervous half-glance before hurrying over to Erin. "What's up?"

"Not here," Erin said, glancing around. She led Kim to the downstairs locker room, checking it was empty before speaking. "So, I found something out a few weeks ago, and I wanted you to be one of the first to know," she began, and a knowing grin spread over Kim's face. "What?" Erin asked, confused by the look Kim was giving her.

"This is about you being pregnant isn't it?" Kim grinned, and Erin looked at her in shock.

"What! How did you know?"

Kim gave her an exasperated look. "You didn't seriously think I was going to believe that you gave up coffee and alcohol just for some dumb detox regime did you?" she laughed.

Erin gaped at her. "Why didn't you say anything!?" she demanded, in shock that Kim had known all along.

"I knew you'd tell me when you were ready," Kim shrugged, smiling at her friend. "Well congratulations! I've been wanting to say that for so long!" she cried, pulling Erin into a tight hug. "How far along are you?"

"Thirteen weeks," Erin informed her, pulling the ultrasound image from that morning out of her jeans pocket. "We had the dating scan this morning. I'm due April 20th."

"This is so exciting!" Kim squealed, clapping her hands together. "You never know, we might be baby buddies!"

"What?! You mean you're…" Erin began excitedly, but Kim cut her off.

"No, but from the way Adam and I spent our honeymoon, I wouldn't be surprised," Kim grinned.

"Seriously, I didn't need to know that," Erin cringed, but Kim looked at her unashamedly.

"Oh don't act like you're so innocent! Nadia talks y'know! She's told me what you and Jay are like. I know that baby didn't happen by Immaculate Conception!"

Erin felt a blush creeping up her cheeks, and quickly moved the conversation along.

"Sorry we didn't tell you sooner, we just wanted to be safe, y'know."

Kim waved it away. "Erin, I get it and it's not a big deal," she reassured her before pulling her into another congratulatory hug. Their discussion was halted as Platt stuck her head around the corner of the door.

"Burgess, they don't pay you to stand around gossiping all day. Get out there and make the city a better place," she called to Kim.

"Sorry Sarge, I was just talking to Detective Lindsay," Kim blustered, trying to gather herself together.

"Oh, has she finally told you she's pregnant?" Platt asked casually. Erin stared at her as Kim turned, an offended expression on her face.

"You told Platt before me?" she shot at Erin.

"What! No!" Erin cried. "Sarge, how did you know?!"

Platt shrugged. "Why else would your boobs have about doubled in size?" she said casually, before turning back to Kim saying, "Now beat it Burgess," and exiting the room.

Erin stared after Platt in astonishment as Kim fought to hold back her laughter. "You know, I think I'm glad I'm not her favourite!" Kim chuckled at Erin's expression.

Erin was still in a state of shock over Platt's odd observation as she made her way back up to the bullpen. Everyone was sitting at their desks, preparing to be briefed by Voight about the day's work ahead of them.

Voight emerged from his office and called for everyone's attention as Erin reached her chair.

"So, before we get on with the day, Lindsay and Halstead have something they want to say," Voight said, stepping back as he motioned for Erin and Jay to come forward.

They each made their way from around their desks, eyes meeting as they turned to face the rest of the unit. Jay took Erin's hand into his as he cleared his throat, preparing to speak.

"Um, so Erin and I have some news," he began, and Erin squeezed his hand, feeling a combination of excitement and nervousness. She was looking forward to not having to be so secretive all the time, but having everyone know somehow made her feel very exposed, something she wasn't altogether comfortable with. Still, there was no avoiding it. People would find out eventually so better they tell them now rather than have to face their questions later.

Jay looked at Erin who breathed deeply and took the lead.

"I'm pregnant," Erin grinned at them all and waited for their reactions. There was a moment of silence before their faces also broke into grins and Antonio spoke.

"Yeah, we know," he laughed.

Erin and Jay looked at them all in astonishment.

"What!?"

"Yeah, we all worked it out," Atwater chuckled as they all made their way forwards to congratulate the couple.

"Wait, I didn't know! How'd you guys all know?" Ruzek cried, looking offended that they hadn't thought to share the information with him.

Atwater laughed. "The amount of times Lindsay made me pull over so she could puke on the side of the road."

"Yeah, and the time she ate that whole jar of pickles in one afternoon," Antonio grinned. "Laura was the same with Diego."

"Al, how'd you know?" Ruzek asked, looking outraged that he'd been the only one not in on the secret.

"Because I know everything," Al said simply in his calm voice.

"So you all knew and no one told me? Why!?" Ruzek exclaimed, raising his hands to the ceiling and staring around at his colleagues. They all tried to suppress their grins at his indignation.

"Because you can't keep a secret to save your life Ruzek," Al said, patting Adam on the chest as he made his way round his desk.

"Is this why you had to get engaged?" Adam questioned, grinning at the couple, and Antonio swatted him around the head with the back of his hand.

As everyone crowed round to congratulate them, Erin and Jay looked at each other, amused by the fact that everyone, apart from Ruzek, had known all along. Apparently they hadn't been as secretive as they'd thought.

* * *

 **I hope you enjoyed this chapter, please leave a review letting me know what you thought and what you'd like to see in the future :)**

 **The next chapter is called 'Popcorn'**


	25. Chapter 25 - Popcorn

**Hello! Thanks for the great response to the last chapter, I hope you enjoy this next one...!**

 **:)**

* * *

 **Chapter 25 – Popcorn**

The secret was out. Everyone knew that Jay Halstead and Erin Lindsay were expecting a baby.

Erin was into her second trimester now, and was experiencing a welcome drop in her level of morning sickness. However, the removal of one pregnancy side effect came with the arrival of about a dozen others. Erin's baby bump was apparent to everyone now, although an oblivious person might just think she'd overdone it on the cheeseburgers. It had yet to develop the characteristic look of a pregnant belly.

She was also finding that she was being more clumsy than usual. Just the other day, Erin had managed to trip over her own feet as she crossed the apartment, and had clung to Jay as she desperately tried to prevent herself from falling flat on her face. Before that, she'd been reaching to take a stack of documents from Atwater, when the pile of papers suddenly slipped from her grip and flew to the ground, spreading out across the floor of the bullpen.

Jay had assured her that it was perfectly normal, being the expert that he was after reading his stack of pregnancy book.

"Apparently it's all due to some hormone that relaxes your joints and ligaments. It affects your whole body even though it's only needed in the pelvis," Jay informed her after she nearly dropped a giant glass vase on his foot in a store one day. They were only saved from having to buy the item by Jay's catlike reflexes as he stooped to catch it just before it smashed all over the floor. They quickly exited the store after the manager gave them a disapproving look. As they were walking through the door, they suddenly came face to face with Will and Natalie, pushing nine-month old Owen in his stroller.

"Hey!" they all cried in shocked greeting as they smiled at their impromptu meeting.

Erin bent down to pull a face at Owen and tickle him under his chin. He giggled and squirmed and she felt her heart swelling at the cuteness. She had been feeling very maternal over the last few weeks, wanting to mother everything she set her eyes on.

"Wow, he's gotten so big," she said to Natalie as she stood up. Natalie smiled sadly.

"I know! I want him to stay my little baby forever," she said, and Erin nodded understandingly. "But look at you," Natalie continued, motioning to Erin's baby bump. "You're looking great, how far along are you now?"

"Coming up seventeen weeks," Erin grinned, flattered by Natalie's compliment, although she had to disagree. Even though everyone had been telling her she was glowing and that pregnancy suited her, all Erin saw when she looked in the mirror was a tired looking woman who'd overindulged on burgers and fries.

"Hey, you couldn't do us a favour could you?" Will asked, struck by a sudden idea as he looked between Erin and Jay. "We've got this hospital benefit dinner next Friday and can't find anyone to watch Owen. You wouldn't mind having him for the night would you?"

"Of course we don't mind! We'd love to watch him!" Erin exclaimed excitedly without even consulting Jay, such was Owen's overwhelming cuteness. She crouched down to tickle the baby again.

"Yeah," Jay agreed. "I mean, we could use all the practice we can get."

"Oh thank you so much guys," Natalie gushed, and bent down next to Erin to play with Owen as well.

Will lowered his voice as he directed his next words to Jay.

"You know what the day after that is?" he asked.

Jay thought, trying to work out the date. He suddenly felt a wave of guilt rush over him as he remembered what day was coming up. He'd been so caught up with work and Erin's pregnancy that he had completely forgotten. But the memories were coming back in full force now and he kicked himself for not remembering sooner.

"Mom's anniversary," he said and Will nodded.

"I was thinking of going to the cemetery with Natalie, you and Erin could join?" Will suggested.

Jay considered it for a moment before agreeing. "Sure, we'll come with."

Will looked at Jay nervously before continuing a little more hesitantly. "And have you talked to Dad yet?"

"Umm…" Jay said, avoiding eye contact, and Will understood the answer to be no.

"Jay, you said you'd call him."

"I know what I said," Jay replied, somewhat frustrated. He had agreed months ago to call their father after he had showed up wanting to patch things up, but Jay so far hadn't been able to bring himself to dial the number. "I'm gonna do it," Jay told his brother, and Will accepted his assurances. They made the arrangements for the following week before each couple continued on their separate ways.

* * *

The week sped by in a blur of relatively easy cases for the Intelligence Unit, and in no time at all, it was Friday evening.

Erin and Jay packed up their desks and headed home while the rest of the unit made their way over to Molly's. The couple didn't mind missing out. They were wholeheartedly looking forward to babysitting Owen, although, Erin had to admit, she was a little nervous now that the time was here, and was very glad she had Jay for support.

At six-thirty, they had just finished an early dinner when there was a knock on the apartment door and Jay pulled it open to reveal Will, Natalie and Owen. Will was dressed in a smart tux while Natalie was wearing a deep blue floor length ball gown. She had a blanket over one shoulder so that none of Owen's drool got on her outfit as he sat in her arms. Will was laden down with bags of Owen's toys, clothes and food, as well as the fold up travel cot.

Jay reached to help them inside. It looked like Owen was set to stay all week, not just one night, judging by the amount of stuff they had with them.

"Thanks again for doing this," Natalie said to Erin as she wiped a strand of drool from Owen's chin.

"Honestly it's no trouble," Erin said as she pulled a face at Owen and took him from Natalie, bouncing him on her hip.

"I've written down his routine," Natalie said, pulling a piece of paper from one of the many bags they'd come in with. "We usually give him a bath around seven, then one last feed before he goes to bed at eight. He's generally pretty good at sleeping through the night, but if he does wake then he might need changing, or he might just want to know that you're there."

"Nat, stop worrying. He'll be fine," Will reassured the nervous mother as she pulled out multiple bottles of milk and jars of baby food from another bag.

"This should be enough to get you through to tomorrow lunch time," she said as she lined them all up on the counter.

Will glanced at his watch before saying, "We should probably get going if we don't want to be late."

"Alright alright," Natalie blustered, turning to where Erin was holding Owen. She stroked the baby's chubby cheek saying, "You be good for Uncle Jay and Aunt Erin," before placing a swift kiss in his dark hair and backing away.

"See you tomorrow champ," Will said, also placing a kiss on Owen's head.

They made their exit, Natalie somewhat reluctantly, and Erin and Jay were left alone with Owen.

"Man, who knew a baby came with so much stuff?" Jay said as he glanced around, looking at Owen's many bags.

"So those baby books didn't teach you everything, huh?" Erin mocked as she bounced Owen up and down.

Jay was looking overwhelmed. "They told me all about the pregnancy, but not what to actually expect when the baby gets here," he said, realising it for the first time.

"Jay relax, we've got plenty of time to figure it out," Erin reassured him. Strangely, his uncertainty seemed to calm her. "And in the meantime, we've got Natalie's list," she said, holding up the sheet of paper Natalie had left. "Now I think it's time this little man had a bath," she said, tickling Owen under the chin and speaking in that goofy voice that adults adopt when they talk to babies or dogs.

They dug through the many bags of Owen's provisions to find everything they would need for his bath. Erin undressed the baby as Jay set about filling the tub, making sure the water wasn't too hot or too cold and pouring in baby soap. When it was ready, Erin placed Owen in his bath seat and they began washing him. They soon discovered that Owen loved the water and his favourite thing to do was splash his pudgy hands in it. In no time at all, they were both dripping wet as Owen giggled up at them.

After the bath, they laid Owen on his changing mat, and Erin gently began to massage in baby lotion to his soft skin. They changed him into a fresh onesie and settled on the couch to give him a final bottle and read a story. Erin sat with Owen in her arms, holding the bottle up to his mouth as Jay squeezed in next to her with 'The Three Little Pigs' open in his lap. Erin had to refrain from bursting out with laughter at Jay's impression of the wolf, giggling internally instead so as not to disturb the drowsy baby. Owen made short work of his bottle and they moved into the guest bedroom, where they'd set up his travel cot. Erin laid him on his back and saw that his little eyes were already closing. They whispered quiet words of goodnight to him before creeping out of the room.

Erin placed the baby monitor on the coffee table as she and Jay settled down on the couch for the evening.

"See, that wasn't so difficult," Erin smiled as Jay stretched an arm around her shoulders and she leaned into him.

"We've still got tonight and tomorrow morning to get through yet," Jay reminded her as he placed a hand over her growing baby bump. Over the last week, the bump had become a lot more rounded so that it definitely looked like Erin was pregnant now. While Jay thought Erin had never looked more beautiful, Erin thought she looked like a beached whale.

"Apparently, the baby is around the size of a turnip now," Jay informed Erin as they sat with the TV volume turned down low.

"Well this turnip sure is giving me a lot of backache," Erin grimaced as she tried to get comfortable.

"Here," Jay said as he repositioned himself so Erin's back was towards him. He gently applied pressure to the sore spot, massaging her softly to ease the ache that had settled there. A low moan escaped Erin's lips as he relieved some of the discomfort she had been feeling.

"We should do this more often," Erin grinned as Jay finished his massage. He smiled at her as he laid down on the couch, pulling her to him so she was laying in his arms. He resumed his gentle stroking of her belly, loving the way her soft skin felt beneath his hand, knowing his baby was only inches away.

They heard a light snuffling coming from the baby monitor on the coffee table, but a second later, the noise had gone and they relaxed, knowing Owen must still be asleep. They remained on the couch for a little while longer, watching some show about house redecoration. As Jay was just about to suggest that they head for bed, Erin suddenly stiffened in his arms and sat up quickly. She gazed at him, an astonished look in her wide eyes.

"What?" asked Jay, panicking that something was wrong.

She smiled at him, a hand resting on her bump.

"I think I just felt the baby move."

Jay sat up too, excitement flooding through him as the biggest smile broke over his face. "Really? You mean it's kicking?" he asked as he placed a hand next to Erin's. Whatever she had felt wasn't happening anymore as Jay couldn't feel anything other than her soft skin under his fingertips.

"No, not kicking," Erin said, trying to think how best to describe the feeling. "It was more like a flutter. Like popcorn popping."

Jay stared at her in wonder. "You're amazing, you know that?" he said, leaning forward to capture her lips in a soft kiss.

"I think the baby agrees," Erin smiled as she felt the fluttering in her belly again.

* * *

 **I hope you enjoyed this chapter and the small preview of Linstead as parents! As always, please review/favourite/follow :)**

 **The next chapter is called 'Pumpkin Pie'**


	26. Chapter 26 - Pumpkin Pie

**Hello! Thanks for the great response to the last chapter :) I can't believe this story is already at almost 250 reviews! I'm so thankful for the feedback I've received. This is just a story I started in my spare time, mostly for my own enjoyment, so I'm so happy other people are enjoying it too!**

* * *

 **Chapter 26 – Pumpkin Pie**

Jay was sitting on Owen's play mat next to the baby, who was lying on his stomach and waving his pudgy arms and legs as he tried to pull himself forwards. Erin had just finished tidying the kitchen after lunch as Jay tried to entertain Owen.

Thankfully, Owen had slept soundly through the night, only waking at 4am to let them know his diaper needed changing. Jay was quick to hand the crying baby off to Erin when he realised what the problem was. Erin had returned to the bedroom after changing Owen to find Jay grinning apologetically at her.

"You just wait," she told him, climbing back into bed. "When this baby arrives, there'll be no escaping the dirty diapers," she said, placing a hand on her growing bump.

Unfortunately, their morning with Owen hadn't gone quite as smoothly as the night before. When Jay finally agreed to change a diaper, he hadn't quite been quick enough with the clean one. When Owen had felt the cool air on his bottom, he'd decided to let loose and proceeded to spray Jay's chest with urine. Erin tried her best to hold in her laughter as a dripping Jay passed her a freshly diapered Owen and headed to the bathroom for his second shower of the morning.

Erin soon discovered that Owen's favourite thing to do was grab, as he latched his chubby hand onto a clump of her hair when she leaned forward to feed him his breakfast. The baby smiled and gurgled at her as she tried to break the surprisingly strong grip he had on her. When at last she was free, she saw that Owen had since knocked the plastic bowl of baby food all over the floor. She sighed as he sat and giggled at her. The rest of the morning however had been slightly easier after Jay had emerged from his shower and they could work together as a team to keep an eye on Owen.

Erin was just thinking that they were finally getting the hang of this baby caring business as she looked over at Jay playing with Owen on the floor, when there was a knock at the door. She moved to open it, and greeted Will and Natalie as they arrived to collect Owen.

Natalie squealed as she saw her little boy, and swooped down on him, peppering kisses all over his face and head.

"How's he been?" Will asked, watching Natalie hug Owen.

"He's been an angel," Erin said as she watched Owen snuggle into his mother. He truly was a delightful child, she thought.

Will raised his eyebrows at Jay, thinking he was more likely to get the truth from him.

"Okay, so we had a little pee-incident, but we talked about it and after he agreed not to spray his favourite uncle again things went a lot smoother," Jay grinned. "Seriously, he's been great. Went to bed no problem and slept right through."

"You're such a good boy!" Natalie said to Owen, and the baby giggled at the attention.

* * *

An hour and a half later, Erin was pulling the car up beside Will and Natalie's vehicle in the cemetery parking lot. She and Jay clambered out of the car as Natalie finished strapping Owen into his stroller. They all walked through the rows of graves as they headed towards the place where Jay and Will's mother was buried. One of Jay's hands was gripping Erin's tightly, while the other was clutching a bouquet of colourful flowers.

As Erin saw the headstone with 'Louise Halstead' carved into it, she gave Jay's hand a comforting squeeze. They all gathered around, and Natalie bent down to remove some of the wilting flowers that were littering the graveside. Jay arranged the fresh flowers into the holder that was built into the headstone, and they all stood back quietly.

"Tell me about her," Erin said softly to Jay. She knew Jay missed his mother a lot and he always spoke highly of her, so Erin was eager to learn more about the woman that had raised him.

Jay took a deep breath, wondering how best to describe his mother, but Will beat him to it.

"She was one hell of a woman," he said, smiling sadly.

Jay nodded in agreement. "She had to be, to put up with Dad."

"Yeah, she always let Dad have his way at home, but when it was just the three of us, you didn't want to mess with her," Will grinned as he remembered.

Jay chuckled. "I remember one time, this older kid on our little league team was picking on Will, and Mom saw it and stormed up to the kid and gave him such a telling off I think he probably peed his pants," Jay laughed.

"So she was really protective of you? I get that," Natalie smiled, looking down at Owen who was fast asleep in his stroller.

"Yeah, she was a strong woman," Jay said as Erin leaned in closer to him. "Even at the end, when they said it was terminal, she wouldn't go down without a fight." Jay suddenly felt his throat tighten and eyes burning as he remembered his mother's last days, and he looked away, trying to compose himself. When he felt better he turned to Erin. "I wish you could've met her, she would've loved you," he said quietly.

"I wish I could've met her too," she said back, smiling sadly.

They suddenly all turned as they heard someone clear their throat behind them. Their eyes fell upon Will and Jay's father, holding his own bouquet of flowers.

"Dad!" Will greeted warmly, but Erin felt Jay stiffen as he stood next to her.

Malcolm walked forward and placed his flowers on the grave and stood back. Jay took in his father's appearance, and it suddenly hit him how old he was looking. He seemed to have aged about ten years since their last meeting, and looked as if he had the weight of the world on his shoulders.

"How've you been, Dad?" Jay asked somewhat stiffly, regretting not having called him.

"Not bad, son," Malcolm replied, looking over at Jay and Erin. "I see congratulations are in order," he said, motioning to Erin's baby bump.

Jay took a deep breath. "Dad, look, Erin told me about you coming over and I should've called. I'm sorry…" he began, but Malcolm cut him off.

"You don't need to apologise. Not after the way I've treated you over the years. You've done well for yourself son, I'm proud of you."

Jay felt a battle of conflicting emotions rising inside him. For years, he had dreamed about hearing his father say those words, but the bitterness that had plagued their relationship for as long as he could remember seemed to open up a chasm between them. He couldn't just forget everything that had happened, all the things that had been said, all the bad feeling, but he could tell Malcolm was being genuine, and he so wanted to repair their relationship. Finally, Jay held out his hand to his father, who grasped it firmly and the two men shook hands, united for the first time in years.

They all walked back through the cemetery together, and Malcolm fell into stride next to Erin.

"So, you're expecting my grandchild," he said, smiling.

"Yeah," Erin nodded as Jay took her hand. Her other hand rubbed absentmindedly over her belly. "I'm due April 20th," she said to Malcolm.

"And everything at your scans looks good?" he asked, not being able to quiet the doctor inside him.

"Yep, everything's going well so far," Erin assured him as Jay dug in his jeans pocket and extracted his wallet.

"Here," Jay said, passing his father the ultrasound picture he kept there.

Malcolm smiled at the image and looked over to Will and Natalie. "So Owen's going to have a cousin to play with," he said.

Although Will might not be Owen's actual biological father, Will had really stepped up and taken responsibility for the boy, and thought of him his own son, even if they didn't share blood.

Jay took the ultrasound picture back from his father and pulled Erin closer to him as they walked. An involuntary smile broke across his face. He seemed to be finally patching things up with his dad, and a warm feeling filled his body. He couldn't help but think that his mom was looking down on them right now, glad to see her family finally getting along after so many years.

"Hey!" Malcolm suddenly exclaimed, clapping his hands as idea came to him. "Why don't you all come to the house next week for Thanksgiving dinner? I'll cook."

Will and Natalie shared a glance. "Sure, sounds great," Will said as Natalie nodded.

Erin and Jay hesitated. They had already agreed to go to Voight's house in the evening, as he'd invited the whole unit over to watch the football and eat.

"Uh… actually Dad, Erin and I…" Jay began awkwardly, but Erin cut him off before he could say anything else.

"We'd love to come," she said quickly, and Jay looked at her questioningly. She gave him a meaningful look but said nothing.

"Great," Malcolm said happily. "I'll have dinner ready for 12:30 on the dot."

Only when they were back in the car did Jay feel it was safe to question Erin.

"So, we're having two thanksgivings then?" he said, grinning as she directed the car towards the road.

"I couldn't let you say no to your dad Jay. Not when you're finally getting back on track with him," Erin sighed.

"You know it's at least a two hour drive to my Dad's house," Jay pointed out, and Erin turned to look at him briefly as they joined a queue of unmoving traffic back into the city.

"We don't need to be at Voight's until five thirty, so as long as we leave your dad's by three thirty, we'll be fine," Erin offered, not feeling as confident as she sounded.

"Right. As long as there's no traffic and my Dad actually lets us leave on time," Jay said, feeling as though Erin's plan had some serious flaws. "And we can't exactly tell Voight we were late because we were celebrating somewhere else."

"Well we've agreed now so we'll just have to deal with it," she said, feeling that it was pointless to worry over the difficult logistics right now.

* * *

"Wow, something smells great," Jay called as he walked through the apartment door and the smell of home baking greeted him. He rounded the corner and Erin appeared in the kitchen, an apron stretched tight over her rounded belly and flour powdered at the end of her nose and across one cheek. Some had even settled in her hair, which was scraped back into a messy ponytail. "Is this Erin Lindsay actually using a stove?" Jay joked as he peered into the large saucepan she had sitting on the counter. "Maybe I'll call the fire department now and warn them."

"Shut up," she grinned. Erin wasn't known for her culinary skills, but Camille had managed to teach her how to make one dessert perfectly and Erin was very proud of it. "I'm making pumpkin pie for tomorrow," she said, motioning to the saucepan full of cooked pumpkin.

"That's a lot of pumpkin," Jay remarked, his eyebrows raised sceptically.

"That's because I'm making two, genius," she said, feeling as though she were pointing out the obvious. "One for dinner with your dad and one to take to Voight's."

It was the day before thanksgiving, and Erin had been baking for most of the afternoon. She'd come home from work early as the rest of the unit were heading out on a bust and there was no way Voight was letting her go with. Not now that her bulletproof vest no longer fit over her baby bump. So instead of sitting around filling out paperwork, waiting for their return, she'd decided to take the afternoon off and get a head start on her evening of baking.

"Aren't you the perfect housewife," Jay grinned as Erin cracked two eggs into a bowl and began to beat them.

"In your dreams Halstead," Erin grinned back, knowing full well that this was the furthest her domestication stretched. "I much prefer you being the househusband," she teased remembering their conversation from long ago. Her hazel eyes twinkled with mischief as they met Jay's blue ones.

Her pulse began to race at the look her was giving her. His eyes were smouldering and she could see his muscles rippling under his t-shirt. She tried to distract herself by measuring out sugar, knowing she had to finish the pies. But her eyes kept wandering back to Jay as he sat down to unlace his boots. Erin had recently been experiencing yet another side effect of her pregnancy, which meant that her sex drive was on overload, and she was finding it increasingly difficult to keep it together whenever Jay was close by. The urge to rip his clothes from his body came at very inconvenient times, for example, when they were being briefed by Voight or in the middle of the grocery store. And now here she was, half way through a pumpkin pie, and all she could think about was how good it would feel to have Jay's strong hands on her, caressing her, while his soft lips left her skin on fire…

"Hello? Earth to Erin."

Jay's voice seemed to float to her across a great distance. She pulled herself out of her fantasies to see Jay waving a hand in front of her face.

"What?" she questioned, wondering what she had missed.

"D'you think that's enough sugar?" he asked, laughing as he motioned to the overflowing bowl of sugar that Erin had poured out. She quickly turned the bag in her hands the right way up and set about rectifying her mistake, mentally kicking herself for her lapse in attention.

"Were you daydreaming about me again?" Jay grinned, and Erin blushed. She'd confided in Jay about her new urges, and he'd informed her that he was more than happy to indulge her desires.

He watched the blush creeping up Erin's cheeks, and quickly crossed the small kitchen to wrap his arms around her from behind. He lowered his mouth to her neck and she felt his stubble tickling her. She moaned and threw her head back as she pressed herself against him, unable to resist the temptation of his touch. She turned in his arms and leaned in to latch her lips to his. Just before their lips made contact, Jay pulled out of her reach, knowing it would drive her crazy.

"Jay don't tease me," she breathed, searching for his lips, trying to communicate the urgency of her arousal.

Jay couldn't refuse her, and he finally satisfied her impatient lips as they melted to the ground. The half completed pumpkin pie sat forgotten on the kitchen counter as they gave in to their desires.

* * *

 **I hope you enjoyed this chapter :) I'm really enjoying going into more detail about Jay's family since they haven't really covered it on the show, so I hope people are enjoying my version!**

 **As always, please review :)**

 **The next chapter is called 'Thanksgiving'**


	27. Chapter 27 - Thanksgiving

**Hello everyone! I hope you've all had a good week and enjoyed PD being back on our screens! I'm so excited for this weeks episode, I swear my heart actually exploded at the sneak peek!**

 **Enjoy this next chapter...**

* * *

 **Chapter 27 – Thanksgiving**

"Ugghh," Erin sighed as she screwed up the material in her hands and threw it to the bottom of the closet in frustration.

"What's wrong?" Jay asked from the joining bathroom where he had just finished shaving.

"Stupid dress doesn't fit," Erin mumbled, searching for something else to wear. It was Thanksgiving morning, and Erin had planned on wearing her favourite green dress to honour the occasion. However, after trying unsuccessfully to pull it over her rounded belly, it was soon clear that there was no way she would be wearing it today. She sat back on the bed and covered her face with her hands, moaning, "I'm too fat for any of my clothes."

"You're not fat, you're pregnant," Jay pointed out as he emerged from the bathroom and moved to his side of the closet. He rummaged through it for a second or two before emerging with a gift box in his hands. He sat down next to Erin and wordlessly held the box out to her. She looked at him with confusion.

"What is this Jay?" she said suspiciously, taking the box from him.

Jay smiled at her. "You said last week that you were planning on wearing your green dress and I knew you didn't have a backup for when it didn't fit." He motioned for Erin to open the box. She did so and her eyes fell upon turquoise and white patterned material. She lifted it out and held it up.

"Jay, it's beautiful," she gushed as she gazed at the maternity dress in her hands. It had short, cropped sleeves and a V-neckline. The material bunched where the top of her bump would be and the skirt flowed out loosely under it.

"Nadia helped me pick it out," Jay said modestly, but Erin leaned towards him to place a sweet kiss on his lips.

"Thank you," she whispered, the love she felt for Jay consuming her whole body.

* * *

"Okay, take the next left up here," Jay pointed as Erin drove. Erin was taking in their surroundings. They were in a very nice neighbourhood just over two hours outside the city. Large houses with expensive cars in their driveways lined the street and Erin felt slightly uncomfortable. This certainly wasn't like the neighbourhood she'd grown up in. She directed the car down the road Jay had indicated and they found themselves on another tree-lined street.

"It's just up here," Jay said as he pointed to the entrance of a long, sweeping driveway. Erin steered the car through a pair of open large iron gates and gravel crunched under the tyres as they slowly made their way up the drive.

Erin felt her jaw drop as, for the first time, she gazed upon Jay's childhood home. Sculpted bushes decorated the front lawn, which was blocked from view from the street below by a line of tall, well pruned trees. The house itself was vast, set at the end of the long driveway with intricate stonework detailing the façade. Its many windows and pitched roof loomed towards them as they approached it.

"Well, here we are," Jay said, looking up at the house with an apprehensive look. He hadn't been back here in years, not since before his mom had died.

Erin looked over to Jay in astonishment. "Jay, you're rich," she said with disbelief in her husky voice.

"My Dad's rich," Jay corrected. Jay had had to work for every penny he'd ever spent, and felt somehow disconnected from the boy that had grown up here.

"Our apartment must seem like a hovel compared to this," Erin said embarrassedly, motioning to the impressive house.

"Let me remind you that before we moved in together, I was living in an apartment where you could reach the stove from the bathtub," Jay grinned at her, and Erin felt a little better.

They clambered out of the car and approached the big house. They climbed the front steps and Jay knocked on the door with the large ornate knocker. They waited for a few seconds before the oak front door was pulled open and Will was revealed.

"Happy Thanksgiving!" he cried and they moved forwards to greet him and get out of the chilly November air. Erin gazed around the entrance hallway they had entered. It was double story, split by a balcony with a wide, sweeping staircase. An impressive, glittering chandelier hung from the ceiling and Erin felt herself staring at the grandeur.

Jay helped her off with her coat, hanging it on the stand beside the door and smiling at the sight of her in her new dress, thinking how gorgeous she looked with her swelling baby bump.

Will led them through the house to the kitchen. Erin's eyes were wide as she took in the many beautifully decorated rooms they passed on their way. She gazed upon the expensive looking pictures that hung on the walls and marvelled at the fact that she had never known Jay had come from all this.

They emerged in the kitchen, which was also lavishly decorated, and they greeted Malcolm and Natalie. Malcolm was busy preparing dinner while Natalie sat keeping an eye on Owen, whose new favourite trick seemed to be using a chair to pull himself up before toppling over onto his diapered bottom. Erin had to stop herself from staring at Malcolm. Although they'd only seen him a week ago, he seemed to have aged ten years. His skin had a greyish tinge and there were heavy bags under his eyes. Erin silently thought to herself that he didn't look well at all.

Over the next hour, Jay gave Erin a tour of the house, ending outside a door with the words 'Jay's Room' hanging on the back.

"Am I about to see Jay Halstead's childhood bedroom?" Erin asked, excitement trickling into her. She had been looking forward to this ever since they'd agreed to come here for dinner.

"It's a great privilege to be invited into my room," Jay grinned at her, his hand on the door handle.

"Oh yeah, and how many girls have you stood outside this door and said that to?" she asked as she raised her characteristic eyebrow.

"It may surprise you to hear it, what with my rugged good looks and razor sharp mind, but I wasn't always such a hit with women," he said and Erin rolled her eyes at him.

"And what makes you think you're a hit with women?" she teased, her dimples forming chasms in her cheeks as she grinned.

"I think the fact that you're pregnant with my baby is a hint," he replied, rubbing a hand over her bump. "But seriously," he said thoughtfully, "I wasn't some jock who had his pick of the girls in high school. I didn't really fit in. Will was smart and funny… but me… I don't know… I just sort of drifted around and waited for it to be over. Allie was my first girlfriend, and we only spoke to begin with because she thought I was someone else from behind."

"Jay, you don't need to tell me about not being popular in high school," Erin said, placing one of her hands on top of the one of Jay's that was rubbing her belly. "Been there, got the t-shirt," she smiled. Jay's blue eyes were twinkling at her, knowing she understood exactly how it had been for him in school and growing up. "Now can I see your room?" she begged, the suspense getting too much.

Jay turned the door handle and led Erin inside. She looked around, taking in the room where Jay had grown up. It wasn't a particularly large room when you considered the size of the house, Erin thought. A double bed stood in the middle of the room against one wall and a large, well-used desk was pushed against another. The blue bedspread matched the drapes at the window, and a wooden bookcase stood in the corner. Erin could see multiple piles of comic books sitting on the shelves, although there was one shelf dedicated entirely to out of date video games.

Erin was about to open her mouth to make a joke about the video games when she caught sight of Jay. He was gazing around the room with a strange expression on his face that she couldn't quite read.

"What?" she questioned gently, placing a hand on his arm.

Jay shook his head. "It's just… it's exactly like I remembered it." He continued to look around the room. "I don't know… I guess I half expected my dad to have turned it into a home gym or something."

"Must bring back a lot of memories," Erin said softly and Jay nodded. His face then split into a wide grin as he moved over to stand in front of the closet.

"See this dent?" he said as he motioned for Erin to come closer. She moved to stand beside him and nodded as she noticed a large dent in the wooden doorframe. "That's where I cracked my head open when I was eight. Will had said he was better at wrestling than me, so naturally I had to prove him wrong. I ended up needing twelve stitches and Mom grounded us for two weeks."

"I think you'll find it was three weeks and it was totally worth it because I proved my point. I was better at wrestling."

Will had entered the room without their noticing and joined them in front of the closet.

"You were two years older than me and I was small for my age!" Jay protested and Will shook his head teasingly. "You want a rematch?" Jay grinned at his brother, knowing that Will knew exactly who would win this time around.

"As tempting as that sounds, Dad says dinner's ready," Will grinned back.

"You always had an excuse for everything, especially when you knew you were gonna lose," Jay teased as they made their way out of the bedroom and downstairs to the dining room. Erin smiled at Will and Jay's banter, enjoying their sibling rivalry.

They took their places around the dining room table as Malcolm and Natalie carried in dishes of delicious looking food from the kitchen. Erin was very thankful she was over her morning sickness by now because she was thoroughly looking forward to this meal and was glad she didn't have to worry about it making her nauseous.

They slowly made their way through the mountain of food, which tasted as delicious as it looked. Erin out ate everyone as she helped herself to second helpings of everything, and Jay marvelled at the amount she was putting away. He was slightly worried, as Voight was putting on a Thanksgiving buffet later that evening, and right now, Jay felt like he couldn't eat another bite, so he had no idea how Erin was going to cope.

"Well, that was as delicious as I remember it," Will complimented as he set his knife and fork down on his empty plate and stretched back in his chair.

"Ah, well Thanksgiving dinner always was my speciality," Malcolm smiled tiredly. Jay's initial nerves at the prospect of having dinner with his father had disappeared almost as soon as they sat down, and Malcolm started asking questions about his and Erin's jobs as detectives. He seemed genuinely interested and appeared to swell with pride as Erin recounted a story from a few weeks ago where Jay's quick thinking had saved the day. Jay couldn't quite believe it. This certainly wasn't the man he remembered growing up with, but they were getting on better than ever, putting their old differences aside. Still, Jay couldn't deny there was an awkwardness in some of their exchanges, like they were both being overly polite and skirting around sensitive topics.

Erin's homemade pumpkin pie followed dinner, and soon after, they cleared away the dishes and Erin and Jay set about washing up everything that wouldn't fit in the dishwasher.

"So, did you forget we're supposed to be eating at Hank's later as well?" Jay questioned quietly as he handed Erin a dripping dinner plate and she started drying it.

"What're you talking about?" she asked confusedly.

"You were eating as though you'd never see food again," Jay said and grinned at her outraged expression.

"Hey, I'm eating for two here!" she exclaimed as she set the dry dinner plate down and lightly whipped him with the dish towel in her hands. She checked her watch quickly. "Y'know, we're gonna have to leave soon if we want to make it to Hank's on time."

Jay glanced at his own watch. "You're right. Let's finish up here and then we'll make our excuses.

* * *

Erin finally pulled the car up outside Hank's house. The car clock said it was nearly 6pm, which meant they were almost thirty minutes late. They had been delayed in leaving Jay's dad's house as Malcolm had wanted to pack them up with enough leftovers to last all week.

They crossed the dark street and rang the doorbell to Hank's house. Seconds later, Hank pulled the door open to them.

"Sorry we're late," Erin gushed as soon as she saw him, but Hank waved it off, taking the pumpkin pie she was holding in front of her.

"No problem, no problem. Come in, everyone's here," he said as he ushered them inside.

They removed their coats and followed Hank into the living room. Adam, Kevin and Antonio were sitting on the couch watching the TV which was showing a football game that was just about to start. Alvin was standing behind the couch, a glass of wine in his hand, talking to Mouse who was sipping on a beer. Kim and Nadia were hovering by the window, immersed in a deep conversation that probably involved gossip of some sort, Erin thought.

Jay looked around the room and smiled. It was strange, he thought, but even though he'd just spent the last few hours getting on better with his father than he ever had, he felt much more at home here with these people.

"Hey, you made it!" Adam called from the couch as he noticed Erin and Jay entering the room. "Does this mean we can eat now?"

"Is food all you ever think about?" Alvin asked Adam in his calm voice.

"Hey, it's not my fault I'm hungry! I've been saving myself all day for this," Adam retorted, and Kim gave a snort.

"You have not!" she called across the room at Adam.

"Well, I've eaten considerably less than I usually do," Adam relented, and they all got to their feet to make their way to the kitchen.

Jay's stomach squirmed uncomfortably as his eyes fell upon the vast buffet Hank had set out. He was still feeling unpleasantly full from dinner earlier and his eyes met Erin's, silently communicating his dilemma. Erin just grinned at him. She herself felt ravenous.

Jay approached the many dishes of food and began to help himself to the tiniest portions of everything. He was just thinking how grateful he was that it was a buffet as it meant he could take as much or as little as he liked, when Hank came up beside him and looked down at Jay's only half full plate.

"Something wrong with my cooking Halstead?" Hank questioned.

"Oh, no Sir, I just…" Jay began, but Hank cut him off before he could say anything more.

"Well then, help yourself to a real sized serving," Hank said, and he loaded Jay's plate with a massive pile of mashed potato and turkey. "Before Ruzek comes back for seconds."

Jay stared down at his plate as Hank walked away, wondering how on earth he was going to eat it all. Erin had watched the interaction from the other side of the kitchen, and grinned at the alarmed expression on Jay's face as she made her way over to him.

"Good luck with that," she teased as she helped herself to mashed potato, filling her already overcrowded plate with more food.

Jay swallowed hard and said nothing. They made their way from the kitchen back into the living room.

Erin looked around at everyone tucking into their plates of food, laughing and joking and enjoying each other's company. She felt a warm feeling of content in the pit of her stomach and smiled.

"Is it bad that I feel more comfortable here than I do with my own family at my childhood home?" Jay grinned at her, knowing how she was feeling.

"This is our family too," she smiled back at him as he put his free arm around her waist.

"And we're about to add one more to it," he said softly as his fingers lightly brushed over her bump. "And if today's anything to go by, this baby is gonna be able to eat like Ruzek."

Erin laughed as they watched Ruzek already heading back into the kitchen for seconds.

* * *

 **I hope you enjoyed this chapter and my version of Jay's family life. I know it might not match up completely with the little that we've learnt from the show, but it works for my story so I hope you're not disappointed :)**

 **As always, please review!**

 **The next chapter is called 'Jingle Bells' (Christmas is coming!)**


	28. Chapter 28 - Jingle Bells

**Hello! Wow - this story now has over 200 followers and over 250 reviews! I'm so thankful for everything and I'm just amazed that people are enjoying this story so much!**

 **Enjoy this festive chapter! Ideally, I would've liked to publish this chapter closer to Christmas in real life, but oh well, we'll just have Christmas in October! ;)**

 **Also, who else loved last week's episode!? Finally we got I love you's from Linstead and I'm soooo happy!**

* * *

 **Chapter 28 – Jingle Bells**

The week after Thanksgiving saw Christmas decorations go up all over the city. Erin loved this time of year and the way the city transformed into a winter wonderland, even if she didn't enjoy the freezing temperatures. She loved to watch as the fairy lights twinkled and snow flurries created a thick white blanket over the familiar landscape.

It had been a different story when she was growing up. While all the other kids were getting more and more excited for Christmas, the holiday was lost on Erin. For most of her childhood, Christmas was just another day. Most years, Bunny could hardly remember her own name on Christmas morning, let alone remember that Santa was supposed to have come. When Teddy came along, Erin tried to maintain some of the magic of the holiday for him, and would work all year clearing the neighbour's yards so she could save up and buy him something special from Santa. Of course, there was the odd year when Bunny would be sober, and Erin had a few good memories from those times, but they were few and far between, and Erin's overriding feeling towards Christmas was that it couldn't be over fast enough.

It wasn't until she was a teenager and had moved in with Hank, Camille and Justin, that she really learnt to enjoy Christmas. Bunny had never bothered getting a proper Christmas tree, usually just setting up a three-foot plastic one in the corner, but Camille insisted on having a real tree every year. Hank would take Erin and Justin to pick out the best one and they'd spend all evening decorating it, listening to carols and drinking hot chocolate. The first Christmas she'd spent with the Voight's had been made extra special when Camille had hung a hand-knitted stocking with Erin's name stitched into it up on the fireplace, next to her own, Hank's and Justin's. Erin had been living with them for about half a year before then, but hadn't really felt like a real member of their family until that moment.

Erin explained all this to Jay one evening as they decorated their apartment, and he expressed his surprise that Erin enjoyed the holidays so much.

"Seriously Jay, I never want our kid to think Christmas isn't something to look forward to," she said as she hung a red and gold ornament on their tree.

Jay had listened as Erin explained her late-found love for Christmas, and his fury at the way Bunny had treated her kids deepened with every word. They hadn't heard from Bunny since her unscheduled visit where she'd promised to go to rehab and get herself clean. Erin had called the clinic she'd recommended a few months ago, but they'd told her Bunny had checked herself out the day after she arrived. Erin had initially been mad, but that had settled now to a dull disappointment whenever she thought of her mother.

Jay watched with an ache in his heart as Erin reached into the box of ornaments again, and vowed to himself to always make Christmas extra special for her and their baby, never wanting their child to feel as Erin had once felt.

Erin was just straightening up with a new ornament in her hands, when it slipped from her grip and her hands went to her rounded belly.

"What? What's wrong?" Jay said at once as the ornament smashed on the floor, panic filling him as Erin continued to hold her bump. He rushed over to her and placed a gentle hand on her back.

Jay's panic was put at ease as Erin lifted her head and smiled widely at him. "Just a kick," she grinned as she felt the now familiar sensation. Jay was convinced the baby was going to be a great soccer player with the amount of kicking it was doing. Erin enjoyed it mostly, feeling reassured by the movement inside her, but couldn't deny it was annoying when the baby suddenly decided to start kicking her just as she was trying to fall asleep.

Jay smiled as he placed a hand on her bump, also feeling the movement under her skin. They'd had their 20-week scan earlier that day and the doctor had assured them that everything was progressing as it should be. After a lot of discussion, they'd decided not to find out the sex of the baby, wanting to be surprised on the day. A betting pool had started at the district, with Atwater, Ruzek and Burgess convinced it would be a girl, while Platt, Dawson, Mouse and Roman insisted it would be a boy. Erin and Jay both had their suspicions on what they thought it would be, but made sure not to comment on it around the others, not wanting to influence the betting and enjoying the rivalry that had struck up between the two groups.

Voight had now placed Erin on full desk duty and wouldn't hear any argument against it. As boring as it was, Erin had to admit, she was glad she didn't have to be on her feet all day as she was experiencing a definite increase in her level of tiredness. Very often, she felt as though she could happily lay her head on her desk and fall fast asleep.

* * *

As December progressed, Chicago was plunged into sub-zero temperatures and frequent snow storms. It was a week before Christmas when the heating system in Erin and Jay's apartment building decided to stop working and they consequently spent their evenings wrapped up in many sweaters and blankets, sitting close so as to conserve body heat.

The heat had been off for a few days when Erin was home alone one lunchtime, having been sent home from the district by Hank when she couldn't manage to keep her eyes open during his morning briefing. The baby had kept her up all night with its persistent kicking, and she'd only managed about 30 minutes of sleep before their alarm had gone off, signalling the time to get up. She'd tried to insist she was fine, but Hank put his foot down and she was inwardly very thankful. She'd come straight home and taken a much needed nap, waking up feeling much better.

She was just preparing a can of soup for lunch, hoping it would warm her up, when there was a knock on the door. Hank was revealed as she pulled it open and she smiled at him in surprise.

"Hank, why aren't you at work?" she asked as he stepped into the chilly apartment.

"It's a light day so I thought I'd just come and check on you," he shrugged before looking around the room. "Can't you turn the heat up? It's freezing in here."

Erin shook her head. "Heating system's given up and the building manager can't get anyone to fix it until after the holidays."

Hank gave her a disbelieving look as he said, "you're not seriously going to stay here are you?"

Erin shrugged and moved to stir the soup on the stove.

"You and Halstead are coming to stay with me until the heat's back on," he said in an authoritative tone.

Erin turned to face him. "Hank that's really good of you, but that means we'd be there over Christmas and you don't need that."

Erin and Jay had planned on having a quiet Christmas with just the two of them while Justin, Olive and Daniel were coming to stay with Hank.

"Erin, I'm not hearing it. You're pregnant and you're not staying in this ice cube, so pack a bag and I'll see you at the house for dinner, I'm making beef casserole."

Erin smiled. Hank knew that was her favourite. "If you insist," she conceded, and had to admit, she was looking forward to not having to wear three sweaters at once.

"I'll let Halstead know what's going on," Hank told her as he moved towards the front door.

Erin grinned to herself, imagining Jay's expression when he realised he'd be living with Voight for the foreseeable future.

* * *

Erin was standing in her old room in Hank's house. It was much like she remembered it, except most of her personal belongings were gone as she'd taken them with her when she moved out. Only a few old photos in frames remained on top of the dresser, a thin layer of dust making them look misty. Erin picked one up and brushed the dust off as she looked down at it.

"So you were telling the truth when you said you and Voight went to prom together," said a voice from behind her, and she turned to see that Jay had crept into the room without her noticing and was standing looking over her shoulder.

Erin rolled her eyes at him and sat down on the side of the bed. Jay sat down beside her and took the old photo into his hands. He examined it more carefully. Erin looked to be in her late teens while Hank's hair was considerably darker than it was now. They were standing side by side, Hank in a smart suit and Erin in an understated, floor length, deep blue dress. Her hair was set in careful waves and it was longer than Jay had ever seen it in person. Hank was smiling proudly at the camera while Erin was looking somewhat embarrassed by the attention.

"That was taken the day of my senior prom," she explained. "I didn't want to go but Camille insisted I'd regret it if I didn't. She helped me pick out my dress and fixed my hair and made a big fuss of me. She and Hank were chaperones so we went together seeing as I didn't have a date. Nobody wanted to be seen hanging out with the charity case kid." She gave a sad little smile as she became lost in her memories.

"So how'd it go? The prom I mean," Jay asked as Erin sat in silence.

"Oh, y'know, it was prom," she shrugged. "It's not much fun if don't have many friends. There were a few kids I hung out with but mostly I just waited for it to be over."

She took the photo back from Jay and replaced it on top of the dresser as a gravelly voice floated up the stairs to them.

"Food's ready," Hank called, and they both made their way from the room.

* * *

The next few days passed in a whirlwind of blizzards and freezing temperatures. The city was buried in snow and the TV flashed with weather warnings as the citizens of Chicago were warned to stay off the roads.

Jay couldn't say he was all together comfortable with living in Voight's house. He and Erin usually liked to curl up on the couch together in the evening, but Jay felt slightly awkward when Hank was sitting across from them in his armchair. Jay could also tell that Hank wasn't all that happy with them sleeping in the same bed in Erin's old room, even though Erin was an adult and pregnant with Jay's baby. Jay supposed it was just Hank's overprotective fatherly instincts coming out, but still didn't like the way Hank's eyes followed them as they climbed the stairs to bed each night. But, he had to admit, it was better than staying at their apartment which had turned into a temporary freezer.

* * *

On Christmas morning, 22 month old Daniel woke the whole household at 5:30am with a loud rendition of what sounded like 'Jingle Bells', although he only knew two of the words – 'Jingle' and 'Bells'. Erin and Jay stirred tiredly as the noise drifted to them through their closed door. They grinned at each other, knowing they didn't have long before their own child would be waking them early in the mornings.

"Merry Christmas," Jay said sleepily and he leaned to peck Erin on the lips.

"Merry Christmas," she smiled back and snuggled into Jay's chest. They could hear Olive telling Daniel to go back to sleep in hushed tones, but Daniel seemed set on opening everything Santa had brought him. Erin closed her eyes they both drifted off to sleep again.

The next thing Erin knew, there was a rattling from the bedroom door and she lifted her head off Jay's chest to see what was going on. Jay was breathing deeply beside her and she fixed her eyes on the door. The handle turned slowly and the door opened. Daniel was standing on tiptoe to reach the handle, and he peeked his head inside the dark room before toddling to Erin's side of the bed.

"Hey buddy, Merry Christmas," Erin said quietly as his big brown eyes gazed up at her. Daniel smiled widely and held out a small toy truck he was holding. "What've you got there?" Erin asked.

"Santa truck," Daniel informed her in his cute baby voice. "Uncle Jay play?"

"How about we wake Uncle Jay up and ask him really nicely?" Erin encouraged the toddler and Daniel nodded enthusiastically.

Erin lifted Daniel onto the bed and he crawled in between her and Jay's bodies.

"Uncle Jay?" Daniel said in a loud whisper as he tapped on Jay's face with the pudgy hand that wasn't holding his truck. Jay awoke to see Daniel and Erin both grinning at him. "Play truck?" Daniel asked as soon as Jay opened his eyes.

"Huh?" Jay said groggily, sitting up and running a hand over his tired face.

"Daniel wants Uncle Jay to play with his new truck," Erin grinned and Daniel held the truck out.

"Sure buddy," Jay obliged and took the truck. He began zooming it up and down Daniel's arms and over his pyjama clad chest, resulting in Daniel collapsing into a wriggling heap of giggles on the bed.

Olive appeared in the doorway looking thoroughly apologetic. "I'm so sorry," she said. "I turned my back for thirty seconds and he'd gone. I hope he didn't wake you up."

"It's not a problem," Erin assured her as Jay continued to tickle Daniel with the truck.

Olive held her hand out to Daniel saying, "come on Daniel, time for breakfast and then you can open some more presents."

Daniel sat up excitedly, wriggled off the bed and toddled over to his mother, who led him out of the room.

"I guess we should get used to kids waking us up early," Jay grinned and he swung his legs out of bed. Erin just smiled and rubbed a hand absentmindedly over her bump. Watching Jay interact with Daniel was just making her even more excited to watch him with their own child.

* * *

As Christmas day drew to an end, Erin sat on the couch in the living room with Hank and Olive, watching as Daniel played happily with all his new toys. Down in the basement, Justin and Jay were having a great time as they engaged in some quality male-bonding. Any previous tension between them had been put well and truly in the past, much to Erin's delight, when Justin had unwrapped a high-tech remote control car from Olive. They'd both turned into oversized kids and raced down to the basement to test it out.

"Dude did you see the speed on that!?" Jay cried excitedly as the car shot past him and Justin whooped excitedly.

Jay was suddenly distracted from the car as his phone started ringing from inside his jeans pocket. He glanced down at the screen and saw Will's face flash up.

"Hey man, Merry Christmas," Jay said as he answered the call.

He heard Will sigh heavily from the other end of the phone and there was a pause before his brother spoke.

"Jay, it's Dad. You need to get to Chicago Med now."

* * *

 **Sorry to leave it on this cliffhanger, but what is Christmas without a little bit of drama!?**

 **Also, I know I've probably over estimated Daniel's age a bit, but I really wanted that cute scene with him, Erin and Jay, so I made him a little bit older so it would work better :)**

 **As always, please review!**

 **The next chapter is called 'Curved Sides'**


	29. Chapter 29 - Curved Sides

**Hello! Apologies for not updating this sooner, last week went so quickly I didn't realise what day it was and completely forgot to post it!**

 **Anyway, enjoy...**

* * *

 **Chapter 29 – Curved Sides**

Erin and Jay rushed into the emergency department at Chicago Med and hurried up to the nurse's station.

"Malcolm Halstead?" Jay enquired before he saw Will walking quickly towards him.

"Will, what the hell's going on!?" Jay demanded as he met his older brother. Will motioned them over to a quieter area.

"Dad collapsed at our apartment earlier," Will said and Jay saw Natalie behind him, bouncing a fussing Owen on her hip.

"What d'you mean he collapsed?" he questioned.

Will shook his head. "He looked rough all day, even worse than he did on Thanksgiving. After dinner he said he didn't feel good so went to lie down for a while, and we heard him fall down in the hall," he explained.

"But why? What's wrong with him?" Jay still felt confused. He knew his Dad hadn't been looking good lately, but just put it down to old age and years of overwork.

Will sighed. "Jay, Dad has stage four pancreatic cancer."

Jay heard the words, but didn't understand. There was buzzing in his ears, numb shock pounding in his head. He felt Erin's reassuring hand on his back but continued to look at his brother. "Explain it," he said simply.

"Dad has a tumour on his pancreas. He's been having treatment but it's metastasised to his –,"

"Speak English," Jay interrupted, frustrated that his brother understood so much more than he did.

"It's spread to his liver and blood vessels," Will continued.

Jay ran a hand over his face, trying to take it all in.

"Why the hell didn't you tell me?" he demanded angrily at his brother, mad that he hadn't thought to inform him of their father's condition.

"You think I knew?!" Will fired back, and a few people turned to look at them and the sound of their raised voices. "He didn't tell me either. He didn't tell anybody," Will continued more quietly.

Jay collapsed into a waiting room chair and held his head in his hands.

"What's the prognosis?" he asked hoarsely as Erin gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze.

"It's not good Jay," Will said sadly and sat down next to his brother. "He hasn't responded to treatment and now it's spread, there's not much we can do except keep him comfortable," he explained.

Jay sighed. "How long's he got?" he croaked. "Six months? A year?"

Will shook his head. "Weeks, maybe a few months, but not long."

Jay put his head in his hands again and closed his eyes. Everything made sense now. His dad's sudden desire to patch up their relationship, wanting to spend time together. It was all because he knew he didn't have long left. Jay felt his stomach churning as these thoughts all came together. He felt Erin sit down on his other side and she rubbed a comforting hand up and down his arm. He was glad she was there, supporting him through this. He wasn't sure what was coming, but was knew he wouldn't get through it without Erin.

Jay finally lifted his head out of his hands and said, "where is he?"

"He's been moved upstairs. They want to keep him in for a few days and after that he's gonna move in with me and Natalie so we can look after him," Will informed him.

There were a few moments of quiet before Jay got to his feet. "I want to see him," he said abruptly.

"Okay, but he's really weak Jay, so go easy on him," Will warned, and he too stood up, motioning for Jay to follow him down the hall. Erin stayed in the waiting room, knowing Jay needed to do this alone. Natalie sat down next to her in Jay's vacated seat, and they watched with worry in their eyes as the retreating backs of the Halstead brothers disappeared down the hall.

* * *

Will gently eased the hospital room door open and looked to the bed.

"Jay's here Dad," he said, stepping into the room so Jay could enter behind him.

Jay's eyes fell upon his father, or what was now his father, because the person in the bed was barely recognisable from the man Jay had grown up with. Malcolm had once had such a powerful and dominating presence that it was impossible to believe that this was what he'd become. He had the appearance of someone who'd lost a lot of weight in a very short amount of time, and his skin hung off him in paper thin wrinkles, tinged greyish-yellow. His once auburn hair had thinned and was now wispy and grey. The bags under his eyes gave his face a sunken appearance, not helped by his hollow cheeks. He had an oxygen tube attached to his nose and wires connected him to the beeping machines beside the bed.

Jay looked upon the shell of a man and his heart ached. Why hadn't he called his Dad? Why had he wasted so much time being angry? So many wasted years...

"Jay?"

Malcolm's voice was almost as frail as he looked. Jay moved closer to the bed.

"I'm here Dad," he said softly and Malcolm smiled tiredly.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you son," he apologised. "I didn't want these last few months tainted with the knowledge that I was sick. My diagnosis made me realise what was important in life, and I wanted to make things right between us, but I didn't want you to feel like you had to do it just because I was dying."

Jay understood his father's reasoning and appreciated the apology, but it didn't make up for the fact that they'd all been kept in the dark.

"You should've told us Dad," Jay said hoarsely. "We could've spent so much more time together."

Malcolm smiled sadly as Jay sat down in the chair beside the bed.

"Let's not waste any more time."

* * *

December melted into a dull and icy January, and as the weeks went by, Erin edged into her third trimester of pregnancy. Her belly protruded out in front of her as she walked and it was becoming more and more difficult to find a comfortable sleeping position. She was still working every day, determined to do as much as she could before the baby arrived.

She was also worried about Jay. He'd been distant ever since finding out about his father's diagnosis, not wanting to talk about it and shutting people out. He was plastering over the cracks, putting on a brave face, but Erin knew it was only a matter of time before the strain became too much and he would eventually break. She knew all this because it was the same way she dealt with things she'd rather not think about, and knew from experience that it never ended well. Still, Erin let Jay have his space and tried to keep things as normal as possible, hoping he would eventually come back to himself.

It had been a very long and tiring week, but Friday evening had finally arrived, much to the Intelligence unit's relief. Erin collapsed onto the couch next to Jay, feeling exhausted. She looked over to the cardboard box sitting next to the coffee table and felt a flutter of panic. The box was full of baby hand-me-downs from Antonio, and as much as she appreciated the gesture, it had sent Erin's mind into overdrive.

"Jay?" Erin said with anxiety in her eyes, turning her head to look at her fiancé.

"Hmm?" Jay answered distractedly. The long week at work had been even more exhausting for Jay, as he'd spent most of his evenings over at Will and Natalie's apartment spending quality time with his father and brother.

"I've just realised how unprepared we are," Erin said, concern coating her words.

"What d'you mean?" Jay asked, his attention caught as he took in her worried expression.

"I mean we've hardly got anything for when the baby gets here! We haven't decorated the nursery; we haven't got any baby clothes!" She couldn't believe they'd left it so late. Her due date seemed so much closer now that Christmas was over and they were into the new year. And what if the baby came early? Then what would they do?

"How about we start tomorrow?" Jay suggested, wanting to put Erin's mind at rest. "I can clear out the guest room and we can go to the store to pick out some paint?"

Erin smiled at him. Decorating the nursery would provide a nice distraction from the weight of Malcolm's illness, something she knew Jay needed right now.

Jay spent the next day transferring all the furniture from the room that was once Nadia's into their storage unit, while Erin sat browsing online shops for nursery furniture. When Jay had at last finished moving everything out, he stood in the doorway, watching Erin scroll through the long list of potential cribs she was considering, enjoying her being in full nesting mode.

"What d'you think of this one?" she asked, turning to look at Jay. Jay approached and inspected the laptop screen which showed a simple white crib.

"Nice," he nodded.

"What about this one?" she said as she switched tabs on the browser.

Jay stared at an almost identical crib.

"That looks exactly the same to me," he said honestly, and Erin rolled her eyes.

"Jay! This one's sides are more curved," she said, exasperated that he couldn't see the difference.

"What does it matter if the sides are curved or not?" he asked, confused as to how this minor detail was causing Erin such a dilemma.

"It matters Jay!" she insisted. "This is where our child is going to sleep for the first year or so of their life! It has to be perfect." She continued to scroll through the never ending web pages.

"Erin, the baby's not even going to remember ever sleeping in this crib, besides, I thought you'd already decided to have a bassinet in our room?"

"That's not the point!" she exclaimed.

Jay decided that it was best to put an end to this discussion before he said something that got Erin really mad at him, and said decisively, "I like the one with the curved sides."

Erin rolled her eyes again. "You're just saying that so I'll pick one."

"No seriously, I like it," Jay insisted, giving her a sincere look.

"Really?" Erin questioned seriously. "Because I like it too. I just wasn't sure, y'know."

"Erin, it's great," Jay reassured her, and Erin added it to their online shopping cart.

She turned to grin at Jay. "Now will you look at changing tables with me?"

* * *

Over the next week, Jay and Erin spent their evenings in tatty old clothes painting the nursery. As they didn't know whether they were having a boy or a girl, they'd picked out a pale yellow colour for the walls, thinking it would work for either sex. Erin hoped that the yellow combined with the white furniture she'd ordered would give the room a light, airy feeling. She'd also decided to go with an animal theme for the whole nursery, and had started collecting various framed pictures of cartoon lions, frogs, rabbits and countless other animals, to hang on the walls. She also couldn't resist buying little stuffed animals whenever she saw them, thinking they'd look cute lined up along a shelf. They'd spent forever picking out cute unisex onesies, although they hadn't needed to buy too many what with Antonio's box of hand-me-downs. They particularly liked a pale blue one that said, "Daddy's best back-up," on the front and had little handcuffs embroidered on it.

As the weekend came again, Erin watched excitedly as the nursery came closer to completion. On Saturday, Jay asked Will over to help put together the nursery furniture that had arrived the previous day, and Erin busied herself with organising everything they'd already bought, checking things off her long list of items they still needed to get.

"Thanks again for helping with this," Jay said to his brother as they checked the instructions for putting the crib together.

"No problem, but I should warn you, my hands are built for surgery not construction," Will grinned.

They spent the next few hours trying to make sense out of the many confusing diagrams and pictures in the instruction leaflet, eventually standing back to admire the completed crib.

"Excellent," Will said, as they took in their handiwork. "What's next?"

"Changing table," Jay said, pointing to the next box of flat-pack furniture.

"My only tip for the changing table is to have all the essentials within easy reach. Trust me, you don't want to be halfway through changing a dirty diaper before realising you're out of wipes," Will grimaced at what was obviously a painful memory.

"Thanks for the advice," Jay grinned as they set to work. He was enjoying spending time with Will where they weren't both focussed on their father. It was a relief to be lighthearted with his brother again and it put Jay in a better mood than he could remember being in for a long time.

By evening, they had all the furniture constructed and manoeuvred into the correct positions, directed by Erin who ordered them here and there as she stood back to take it all in. They'd put up shelves and hung pictures while Erin stocked the changing table and dresser, and arranged all the soft furnishings she'd been collecting. After Will had left and they were finally happy with how the room was looking, Jay collapsed into the big nursing chair in the corner and pulled Erin onto his lap. She laid her head on his shoulder as he wrapped his arms around her, something that had become more and more difficult to do as her bump grew.

They sat in silence, taking in the adorable room that they would soon be bringing their baby home to. Eventually Erin spoke.

"It's perfect," she whispered.

"You were right, the curved sides on the crib make all the difference," Jay teased, and Erin raised her head to see the signature grin across his face.

"Shut up, it was important to me," she smiled back, and Jay tightened his arms around her.

"I know, I know, and that makes it important to me."

Erin snuggled deeper into him at his words, feeling so loved and comforted in that moment, it almost eclipsed the excitement she was feeling at knowing they would be meeting their baby in only a few short months.

She was overjoyed that decorating the nursery had left Jay in such a good mood, but knew that it was only temporary. Over the last week, the nursery had become a sort of tranquil bubble where worries and problems didn't exist. They had laughed and joked like they used to as they slowly prepared the room, but Erin knew that once they left the nursery tonight, all the stresses and fears of the real world would come crashing back down on them. Erin's heart ached as she gazed into Jay's startlingly blue eyes. Eyes she knew so well. But over the last few weeks, a sadness had seemed to settle there, and Erin wasn't sure if it would ever go away.

* * *

 **I hope you enjoyed this chapter :) As always, please review!**

 **The next chapter is called 'Come Back To Us'**


	30. Chapter 30 - Come Back To Us

**Hello! Thank you so much for all the feedback on the last chapter - I'm so glad people are enjoying this story :)**

 **Also, who else LOVED that deleted Linstead scene from last week!? I re-watched it so many times! It sucks that they cut it from the episode but I get why they did it, and I'm so happy they gave it to us as a deleted scene!**

* * *

 **Chapter 30 – Come Back To Us**

As the weeks sped by, Jay continued to spend time with his father, but by early-February, things were not looking good. Malcolm had taken a turn for the worse, and Will had to convince Jay that the best place for their father was in the hospital. They moved him into a private room, and Jay knew the end was near.

Malcolm passed away just after Valentine's Day, and Jay and Will were with him in his final moments. They watched as he took his last few breaths and closed his eyes for the final time. Jay almost felt a sense of relief that Malcolm's suffering was over, that he was no longer in pain, but that feeling was almost immediately replaced by overwhelming grief and guilt that he had wasted so much time not talking to his father.

Erin's heart ached as she watched Jay grieve and beat himself up over his relationship with Malcolm. She knew there was nothing she could say to make this any easier for him, and all she could do was watch as he became a version of himself that she'd never seen before. He was withdrawn and quiet, and always seemed to be on the verge of an angry outburst. Erin was worried. Although it was quite clear that Jay was grieving, she hadn't once seen him cry.

The funeral came and went, and Jay didn't say much. Will delivered the eulogy while Jay sat stoically in the front row, his face set, Erin's hand clasped supportively in his own. Erin hoped that they could begin to get back to normal as the dust started to settle, but in the weeks that followed, Jay didn't show any signs of coming back to his regular self.

Erin was at her wits end. It would've been bad enough with Jay seeming light-years away from her, but her due date was less than two months away now, and panic was really starting to settle in.

Jay's head was a mess. He was full of guilt about his failure of a relationship with his father and couldn't seem to focus on anything else. Everywhere he looked, there seemed to be some reminder of what an awful son he'd been. From the commercials on the mind-numbing TV he and Erin had resorted to watching, to his own brother seemingly moving on with his life, guilt free, safe with the knowledge that _he'd_ been a good son.

It was early March when, not for the first time, Jay returned to his and Erin's apartment after midnight, having stayed at some bar until last orders. He avoided Molly's. There were too many people he knew there. Concerned people who would suggest he'd had enough to drink and that maybe it was time to go home. He didn't need those people with their judging eyes and condescending words. So no, he wouldn't go to Molly's, preferring bars where nobody knew him and he could order a drink without it being questioned.

Erin hated those nights. She would disappear into the bedroom before Jay returned home, and would lay in bed, waiting for him to stagger through the apartment door and collapse on the couch. Only when she could hear his gentle snoring would she creep out of the bedroom to cover him over with a blanket. They wouldn't speak about it in the morning, but the evidence of the night before was clear on both their faces and the bags that hung under their eyes.

More than once, Hank had voiced his concerns to Erin, but she had shut him down each time, telling him they were fine, that she was dealing with it. But it couldn't have been further from the truth. Erin had no idea how to reach Jay and the strain of trying to keep it together was beginning to show.

After yet another night of waiting up for Jay to stagger home, she finally decided that enough was enough. She was at last going to do what she'd been putting off doing. Why had she put it off? Probably because she hated admitting when she needed help, she thought. But she was desperate now. This baby was coming whether they were ready or not, and she needed Jay by her side. So the next day, she was going to swallow her pride and do what she should have done a long time ago.

* * *

"Mouse?" Erin called quietly as she rounded the corner and entered Mouse's technology-filled den at the 21st district.

"Oh hey Erin," Mouse greeted her, looking away from a computer screen that showed cars speeding along a busy city street. Erin knew that watching the traffic cameras relaxed Mouse, and inwardly smiled at the thought that some things would never change.

Erin took a deep breath and tried to silence all her insecurities that were screaming at her not to do this. Not to admit she was struggling.

"I need your help," she finally confessed.

She met Mouse's eyes, and suddenly felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off her chest. A weight she hadn't even noticed was dragging her down until it was gone and she could finally breathe. Mouse was looking back at her, his understanding eyes telling her that she didn't have to deal with this alone anymore.

"It's Jay isn't it?" Mouse said before Erin could say another word. "He's not coping?"

Erin nodded. "I don't know what to do." Her voice was brittle as she relayed everything that had been going on. "He won't talk and he's staying out late. Sometimes I don't even recognise him, I've never seen him like this before… But you have."

Erin's eyes pleaded with Mouse, who sat taking everything in.

"Jay went through a… a dark phase after Afghanistan. We both did," he said slowly, considering his words carefully before saying them, not wanting to push Erin over the edge with unnecessary details.

"And you managed to bring him back," Erin stated desperately. "How do I get through to him?"

Mouse thought for a moment before answering her.

"You need to remind him of what he's still got."

* * *

Erin had been formulating what she was going to say all day, and bounced her leg up and down nervously as she and Jay ate a quiet dinner. She was relieved that he'd decided to come home with her tonight rather than heading out to some bar, and it meant she could put her plan into action.

They finished clearing away the dishes and Jay was about to switch the TV on when Erin finally bit the bullet.

Taking a deep breath, she said firmly, "Jay, we need to talk."

Jay looked at her as she sat down on the couch next to him, slightly taken aback by her abrupt tone. Conversations that started 'we need to talk' rarely ended well.

"I know these past few months have been really hard for you," she began, taking one of Jays hands into both her own, trying to remember the next part of her speech. "And I've given you space to grieve in your own way, but I can't just watch as you slowly destroy yourself." Jay said nothing but continued to listen to what she was saying. "I need you to come back to me Jay! I need you to stop staying out so late, I need you to talk to me! I need us to be us again!"

Jay suddenly ripped his hand out of Erin's grasp, inexplicably angered by her words.

"You can't tell me how to grieve Erin!" he shot at her as he jumped to his feet.

"I'm not tying to -," Erin began heatedly, but stopped as Jay turned away from her. He stood facing the wall, a hand rubbing agitatedly over his forehead.

"Dammit Erin!" he interrupted, his defence mechanism springing into action. "I don't need this!"

"Well too bad Jay!" Erin replied, her anger also rising as she heaved herself to her feet. "Because we're having this conversation whether you like it or not!" She'd completely abandoned the speech she'd been rehearsing all day and was going purely on instinct and desperation now. Tears burned in her eyes and she let them fall, not caring or having the energy to hold them back any longer.

Jay continued to stare at the wall determined not to have this conversation. But he had no choice but to listen to Erin's next words, her voice filled with all the worry and fear she'd been hiding from him.

"Stop pushing me away and shutting me out! I'm here for you! Lean on me! It's your turn now, let me in!" She was repeating words that he himself had said to her when things had begun to get too much, hoping it would trigger something in his memory about how much he loved her. She was disappointed as Jay continued to stare resolutely at the wall. She tried again, determined to get through to him. "You're grieving and you're hurting and you're beating yourself up, and I get it Jay, believe me I get it. But dammit, enough is enough! I can't live like this anymore! I can't keep pretending like everything is okay, because it's not! It's not okay! This isn't you!"

Her tears were falling fast and her voice was thick from the crying, but Jay had finally turned to face her as she spoke, and she pressed her advantage.

"This baby is coming Jay, and I cannot do it on my own! You promised we were in this together!" she pleaded as she grasped her bump. "So come back to us Jay, please! Come back for your baby! We need you!"

It was these words, and only these words, that seemed to penetrate Jay's walls and register in some part of his brain. He watched as Erin finally broke down completely, hanging her head, overcome by her sobs of desperation.

Something sparked inside him. Something that seemed to have died when his father had died. But there was that spark that said the world was still going round, the sun was still rising each day, the birds were still singing. And Erin needed him. What the hell was he doing standing here while the woman he loved begged him to come back to her?

And the baby. His baby, their baby. They both needed him. Erin was right. The baby wasn't going to wait. And suddenly, everything came crashing down around him. His parents were gone, the last small trace of blissful childhood innocence had died with his father, but in less than two months, he would be a father himself, and everything would have come full circle. And he was going to be the best damn father to that baby, he promised himself that. Maybe it would make up for the sad excuse of a relationship he and Malcolm had shared.

His head seemed to clear from all the self-hatred he'd been feeling, and the truth of the situation suddenly dawned on him. His father was gone, and there was nothing he could do about it. But Erin and his baby were here, waiting for him, needing him, begging him, and the realisation of what he'd been doing to himself and Erin finally got through to him.

He took a few clumsy steps backwards and his back collided with the apartment wall. He slid down it to collapse on the floor, his head in his hands, his arms resting on his bent knees. All of a sudden, the weeks of grief and self-destruction overpowered him and at long last, he let himself break down and sob.

Erin's head jerked upwards at the sound of his sobs, amazed that she had finally gotten through to him. The noise seemed to rip through her, leaving her heart in pieces. Watching Jay, the person she loved most in the world, suffer like this was ten times worse than suffering through it herself. He was feeling so much pain and anguish and was finally letting it all out, and the sight made Erin's heart break all over again. She glided over to him and joined him on the floor. Erin pulled him towards her and he laid his head on her chest, sobbing into her t-shirt. She stroked his hair as tears continued to flow down both their faces, but Erin's heart felt lighter than it had done in weeks. At last, at long last, she could finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.

* * *

 **I hope you enjoyed this chapter, I know it was a bit heavier than usual but I really wanted to explore a different side to Jay. I promise, in the next chapters I'll be getting back to the regular Linstead fluff!**

 **As always, please review :)**

 **The next chapter is called 'Let's Go'**


	31. Chapter 31 - Let's Go

**Hello! Thank you so much for the great response to the last chapter! I'm so glad people enjoyed seeing a different side to Jay :) his recovery may seem a bit rushed, but I didn't really want to dwell on his depression for too long. I know in reality it would take a lot longer for him to get back to usual, but this is the magical world of fanfiction so I get to choose what happens! :D**

* * *

 **Chapter 31 – Let's Go**

Spring had arrived in Chicago and the fog that seemed to have settled over Erin and Jay's lives since Christmas was finally beginning to clear. Jay was slowly but surely getting back to his regular self, helped along by Erin's unwavering support. She had managed to convince him to meet with Dr Charles as least once a week over coffee or a drink at Molly's (something she'd been doing for a while now), and the doctor's infinite wisdom and insight was definitely helping Jay to clear his head.

Not only was Erin relishing in Jay's return to his usual self, but her due date was drawing ever closer and there was only a little over a month left until they would be welcoming their little bundle of joy. Erin was very much looking forward to not being pregnant anymore as pregnancy seemed to have finally gotten the best of her. She was constantly exhausted and had chronic backache that couldn't even be soothed by one of Jay's expert massages. Her ankles felt like they'd swelled up to the size of hot air balloons, and she missed not being able to reach her toes. Her belly button had also popped out, much to her surprise and horror, and the baby seemed to be using her bladder as a squeeze toy, resulting in Erin needing to pee every five minutes, or that's what it felt like at least. Erin's belly had now grown so large that it also felt like she was waddling everywhere she went.

"Sexiest waddle I've ever seen," Jay assured her one evening as they were getting ready for bed.

Erin rolled her eyes as she heaved herself off the bed and made her way into the bathroom. She stood at the mirror as she applied lotion to her face, and watched Jay's reflection as he came to stand behind her.

"I could prove how sexy you are," he said in a suggestive voice, his lips lowered to her neck so they tickled when he talked. His arms wrapped around Erin's body as his hands gently began to caress her baby bump.

He peppered delicate kisses up and down her neck, but Erin groaned and pulled away from him, saying, "Not gonna happen."

Jay was also experiencing some downsides of the last few months of Erin's pregnancy. While her second trimester had seen her sex drive increase to an almost insatiable level, it had now plummeted down to below zero, much to Jay's frustration. Anytime he would try and coax Erin into a little bedroom fun, she would bat his eager hands away saying she wasn't in the mood.

Jay sighed and followed Erin back into the bedroom, resigned to the fact that he wasn't going to get his way. Instead, they curled up in bed together and fell into deep sleeps.

* * *

"Um, Jay?" Erin questioned, looking down into their shopping cart. "What the heck is this?"

They were in the grocery store and Erin had just pulled out the most recent item that Jay had thrown into their cart.

"Yeast extract," Jay stated as he saw what Erin was holding up.

"And what is it doing in our cart?" she said, raising one eyebrow slightly.

"I read it's good for your last trimester, something about lots of nutrients…"

"Jay, that stuff is disgusting and there is no way I'm eating it," Erin stated firmly and replaced the item on the shelf it had come from, grinning at Jay's expression.

"C'mon Erin, it's for the baby," he tried to convince her, but Erin simply shook her head and pushed the cart down the aisle.

"I'll just eat extra broccoli," she called back, and Jay could hear the playfully teasing tone in her voice.

There was no point arguing with her, Jay thought. If Erin didn't want to do something, she wasn't going to do it. He watched her retreating back as she proceeded down the aisle, and marvelled at the fact that it was virtually impossible to tell she was pregnant from behind, apart from the slight waddle she'd developed. Erin turned back to see where Jay had got to, and he had to keep from laughing aloud as her enormous belly swung around. He quickly caught up with her and they continued through the store.

They were in the cereal aisle when, once again, they resumed their playful bickering.

"All I'm saying is we could get a cereal that's a little healthier," Jay said, holding up an example of the type of cereal he meant. "Y'know, one with more fibre."

"I like the stuff we get now," Erin said, already reaching for their regular cereal.

Their disagreement was halted however as a voice from behind them spoke.

"Erin?"

Erin froze, her hand in mid-air.

Jay whipped around at the sound of the voice, anger and a desire to get out of there as soon as possible replacing any previous, mundane thoughts of cereal.

Bunny.

She was standing in the aisle just behind them, holding a shopping basket. It seemed to be a complete coincidence that they happened to be in the same place at the same time, as Bunny appeared to be just as shocked as they felt.

Erin had yet to turn around. There was a dull buzzing in her ears, and she wasn't quite sure how to feel about their impromptu reunion. The last time she'd seen Bunny, she'd been completely embarrassed in front of Jay's father before Bunny left, promising to get clean.

Erin turned slowly, and her baby bump was revealed to her mother. Bunny's eyes widened with shock.

"You're pregnant," Bunny stated bluntly, her voice devoid of any emotion.

"Yup," Erin said coolly, not knowing what else to say and not wanting Bunny to create a scene in the middle of the grocery store.

"Were you ever going to tell me?" Bunny questioned indignantly, looking between Erin and Jay.

"And how were we supposed to do that?" Jay asked, not quite being able to keep the bitter tone out of his voice. "You didn't exactly leave a forwarding address last time you showed up."

"That's my grandchild!" Bunny exclaimed, motioning to Erin's bump. "I should have known about it! Come on Erin, can't we start again? I just want to talk to you,"

"I said we could talk if you got clean, went to rehab…" Erin began, but Bunny cut her off.

"I did! I did go Erin!"

"I called the centre I recommended. You didn't even last twenty-four hours," Erin said. She was determined to stay calm and not get worked up with anger, knowing the negative feelings would not be good for the baby. She did not want the last month of her pregnancy complicated by undue stress caused by Bunny. "And please, don't even try to pretend you're clean because the basket in your hands hasn't stopped shaking this whole time."

Bunny mouthed silently at them for a few moments before trying again. "You're pregnant Erin and you need your mother at this time," she said, almost pleading now.

"I've managed to do everything else without you up till now so I think I'll survive. Besides, I don't really think you're in a position to be giving me parenting advice," Erin replied calmly, and Jay wrapped a supportive hand around her waist, which she was grateful for. "Now, we're going to pay for our groceries and then we're leaving, and I don't want to see you again. Goodbye Mom."

With that, Erin swung the shopping cart around and proceeded towards the checkout.

Jay lingered for a few moments, watching Bunny's reaction. When he saw Bunny's eyes following Erin, he lowered his voice and spoke in a deadly serious tone. "You heard what Erin said. We don't want to see you again and we don't want you around our child. I will not give you the chance to hurt this baby the way you hurt Erin. So please, for once in your life, do what's best for Erin, and stay away."

He turned on his heel and followed Erin to the checkout, leaving Bunny standing speechless in front of the cereal. They quickly paid for their only half-completed grocery shopping and left the store, returning home to try and put their encounter with Bunny out of their minds.

* * *

Erin tried not to think about Bunny over the next few days, but thoughts of her mother kept creeping into her head. Maybe she was wrong to tell Bunny to stay away. Didn't Jay's recent experience with his father show that people could change? Life was short after all, and maybe she should try to patch things up with Bunny while she still could. She didn't want to turn around in a few years to find she was too late. Jay knew how that felt. But every time she thought about giving her mother another chance, all the hurt and disappointment Bunny had caused rose up inside her, and she ultimately decided that it wasn't worth the risk. It wasn't just herself that she had to think about now. She had to do what was right for the baby, and this baby really didn't need a drug addict grandmother who would no doubt only be a disappointment.

Bunny had also kept her distance, and Erin suspected her lack of communication had something to do with whatever Jay had said to her before they left the grocery store, but she didn't ask for details. She didn't need to know what he'd said. All she knew was that Jay loved her and he was protecting them and their unborn child.

Jay was now spending the majority of his time trying to convince Erin to start her maternity leave, but Erin was determined to keep working. She was on full desk duty and Voight wouldn't let her out of the district even to pick up lunch from the sandwich shop on the corner. So she would sit by and watch as the rest of the Intelligence unit got suited up to go to a crime scene, or on a bust, and wait patiently for their return while she filled out paperwork. It was mind-numbing work, but it was better than sitting at home all day.

It was on one of these such days when Erin felt an unfamiliar sensation in her abdomen. The unit was out at a crime scene and wouldn't be back for a few hours, and she was sitting all alone in the bullpen. Her hands immediately went to her bump, and she waited for something else to happen. Nothing did. Maybe she'd just imagined it. She was only thirty-six weeks pregnant after all. Surely it was too early for contractions wasn't it? It was probably just her mind playing tricks on her.

She resumed what she was doing but was distracted once again by the unfamiliar feeling.

"Ow!" she cried out, although there was nobody there to hear her. Okay, she definitely hadn't imagined that, she thought.

It happened another three times before Erin decided she needed to call Jay. She tapped his name on her phone screen and waited for him to answer, her leg jumping up and down nervously as she sat in her desk chair. The phone rang and rang before finally going to voice mail. Erin didn't leave a message. She knew that when Jay saw her missed call, he'd call her as soon as he could.

Instead, she sat and tried to think of what to do. Eventually, she made a decision and slowly made her way down the bullpen stairs, trying not to focus on the fear that had started buzzing in her head. She crossed to the front desk and waited patiently as Platt gave instructions to a couple of uniformed officers.

"Sergeant?" Erin said as the officers moved away, and she could hear the note of panic in her own raspy voice.

Platt's head shot up when she heard the worry in Erin's voice, and didn't need to see Erin anxiously holding her bump to know why she was here.

"What's wrong?" Platt said, her voice uncharacteristically compassionate. Everyone knew she had a soft spot for Erin.

"I don't know, I just got this weird feeling upstairs and I can't get hold of Jay. I don't know if it's contractions or…" Erin broke off as a grimace claimed her face and she felt the painful sensation again. "It can't be contractions, it's too early!" Erin cried, and Platt could tell she was really beginning to panic now.

"Okay, okay," Platt said calmly. "We're gonna take a trip down to Chicago Med, and they'll check you out and tell you everything's fine okay?" Erin nodded as Platt rounded the front desk and placed a supportive arm around her waist. She steered Erin towards the front doors, calling out to an unsuspecting officer, "You, you're in charge! Watch the desk!"

* * *

Jay and the rest of the unit made their way back up to the bullpen. The crime scene had been a mess and out in the middle of nowhere. After a lot of debating and uncertainty, homicide had eventually been given jurisdiction, much to the intelligence unit's annoyance.

Jay reached the top of the bullpen stairs, expecting to see Erin smiling at him from her desk, but she was nowhere to be seen. Jay crossed to the break room but it was empty. He checked the locker room, but again, it was deserted. He finally pulled out his phone. The crime scene had taken them into a communication blackspot, so no calls or messages had come through until now.

Jay saw a missed call from Erin as well as four missed calls from Sergeant Platt. Panic trickled into him as he listened to one of Platt's voicemails.

"Halstead, I don't know where you are or what you're doing that you can't pick up your damn phone, but Lindsay's having contractions or something, so get yourself down to Chicago Med asap!"

Jay felt as though the bottom of his stomach had just fallen away and the blood drained from his face.

"Jay?" he heard Antonio say. Jay scraped up his car keys from his desk and was already half way to the stairs when Antonio caught up with him. "Woah, Jay, what's the rush? What's wrong?" he said calmly.

"Erin might be in labour or something! She's having contractions anyway…" Jay informed him, trying to manoeuvre around Antonio so he could carry on down the stairs.

"Erin's in labour?" came Hank's gravelly voice from the other end of the bullpen.

"I don't know!" Jay cried, exasperated. Couldn't they all tell that this was an emergency and Jay needed to get to Erin?

Hank crossed the bullpen and joined Jay and Antonio on the stairs, saying, "What're you waiting for, let's go!"

Relieved, Jay ran down the rest of the stairs and out of the district, Hank and Antonio hot on his heels.

Up in the bullpen, Ruzek turned to Atwater and Olinsky.

"Heck if I'm staying here waiting for news!" he said, and they too followed their co-workers down the stairs and to the hospital.

* * *

 **I hope you enjoyed this chapter! As always, please review :)**

 **The next chapter is called 'Thunderstorm'**


	32. Chapter 32 - Thunderstorm

**Hello! So many apologies for not uploading this sooner! It's my final year at uni and my work load is just crazy at the moment!**

 **Anyway, thank you for the response to the last chapter :)**

 **Enjoy...**

* * *

 **Chapter 32 - Thunderstorm**

"Erin?" Natalie called as Platt supported Erin into the emergency department at Chicago Med. "Are you okay?"

"I don't know if it's contractions, but I keep getting these pains and I can't get hold of Jay!" Erin was in full panic mode now. Platt had done her best to keep her calm during the car ride over, but all Erin could think was what if something was wrong with the baby and Jay wasn't here. What would she do then? How would she deal with it without him?

"Okay, how about we take you upstairs and see what's going on?" Natalie said calmly, motioning for someone to bring a wheelchair over for Erin.

* * *

"Well, you're not in labour," Natalie smiled as she checked the monitor next to the bed Erin was lying on.

"You're sure?" Erin breathed. Relief washed over her but it was immediately replaced by more panic as she realised that something else must be wrong. "What's wrong then?"

"Nothing's wrong," Natalie reassured her. "You've just been experiencing Braxton Hicks contractions, also known as false labour."

"What's that?" Erin asked, immediately regretting not having read the many pregnancy books Jay had bought.

"It's just your body's way of preparing you for true labour, and it's completely normal," Natalie smiled.

"So, that's it? She's fine and we can go?" Platt asked from her seat beside Erin's bed, sounding thoroughly relieved. Erin would have preferred to have Jay there, but had to admit, Platt had been a huge comfort. She'd kept Erin as calm as possible and held her hand all the way through Natalie's examination.

Natalie nodded and helped Erin into a sitting position. "Just make sure to check in with your OB/GYN when you get a chance."

There was a knock from the door and Will Halstead poked his head around the corner.

"I have someone here who'd like to see you," he said to Erin before standing aside.

Jay rushed into the room, worry and panic in his eyes as he saw Erin sitting on the hospital bed.

"I got Platt's message! Is something wrong? Is the baby coming?" he questioned, striding quickly over to Erin so he was standing right in front of her.

"Relax Jay, it was just false labour, everything's fine," Erin soothed him, and he let out a long breath. He pulled Erin's body to him and cradled her head against his chest.

"Dammit Erin I was so scared," he breathed into her hair, and he placed a long kiss on the top of her head. "I would never forgive myself if you had the baby and I wasn't there."

"Well I haven't had the baby and you're here now," Erin said calmly, although thoughts of how the day could have gone were still racing through her mind.

"How about you answer your phone next time, Detective Voicemail," Platt scolded Jay. Jay mouthed wordlessly at her. There was nothing quite like being told off by Sergeant Platt, but then her expression softened. "I'm heading back to the district, I'll let the unit know you're fine," she continued as she got to her feet and started towards the door.

"Um, actually, the unit's kind of in the waiting room," Jay informed them, and Erin felt embarrassment wash over her.

"What're they all doing here?" she asked, annoyed at herself and the fact that she'd managed to disrupt everyone's day over a few silly twinges.

"What d'you mean 'what're they all doing here?'" Jay asked with disbelief. "The message just said you might be in labour and to get to the hospital, so of course everyone wanted to come."

Erin rolled her eyes as Jay grinned at her. "You're the one that's got to tell them it was a false alarm," she told him as he helped her down off the bed, and watched as the smile vanished from his face.

* * *

After Erin's brief trip to Chicago Med, she finally took everyone's advice and agreed to start her maternity leave, deciding it was probably best for everyone's sanity. Hank had also placed Jay on desk duty so that he would never be too far away if Erin suddenly went into labour. Roman and Burgess had therefore been temporarily bumped up to Intelligence to fill in for them.

Erin's due date, April 20th, was only a week away now, and Dr Adams had told them that she could go into labour at any time. This meant that Erin was consequently on the alert for any signs that might mean the baby was on its way. She had her hospital bag packed and ready by the apartment door and Jay had resorted to checking his phone at least every five minutes for any missed calls from Erin.

No such call came in the following week however, and Erin's due date came and went. They checked in with Dr Adam's who assured them there was nothing to worry about, and only if the baby hadn't arrived within 10 days would she induce labour.

Erin's anxiety levels were through the roof. For the past few months, she'd been wholeheartedly looking forward to not being pregnant anymore. However, the realisation of what came after the pregnancy had suddenly dawned on her. Of course, she had known all along that they were having a baby, but only the prospect of the baby arriving any day now seemed to have got through to her like nothing else had. In a few days, they would have a baby. She would be a mother. There would be someone who depended on her for absolutely everything. The thought terrified Erin.

Five days after her due date, Erin was sitting at the kitchen table in Hank's house, watching as he placed a sandwich in front of her and sat down opposite. Hank had invited her over for lunch, knowing Erin was going out of her mind just waiting to go into labour.

"So, how're you doing kiddo?" Hank asked with fatherly concern as he tucked into his own sandwich. "Excited to finally meet your baby?"

Erin avoided Hank's eyes as she gave a non-committal shrug, saying, "Sure." She was starting to get a trickle of guilt every time anyone asked her if she was excited about meeting the baby, when all she felt was panic.

Hank set down his sandwich and gave Erin a scrutinising look from across the table. "What's up?" he asked, knowing when Erin was keeping something from him.

"Nothing," Erin said, taking a bite of her sandwich to save from having to say more.

"Cut the crap Erin," Hank said, watching as Erin chewed slowly. "I know when something's off, so tell me what's wrong."

Erin finally met his gaze and felt her shoulders sag.

"It's just… I'm scared Hank," she confided. "The baby is safe where it is, but in a few days it's going to come out, and it's so dangerous out here. We know that better than anyone. We see it every day at work. It's my job to protect this baby and take care of it, and I don't know if I can do it. I just feel so guilty about not being excited."

A few tears had leaked out of Erin's eyes as she shared her worries and Hank reached across the table to place a comforting hand over one of Erin's.

"Erin, there's not a parent out there who hasn't had these thoughts," Hank said gently. "The fact that you feel like this shows that you're already thinking like a parent, already thinking about what's best for your kid. And it's not all down to you. You've got Halstead, and me, heck you've got the whole of the 21st district ready to back you up! This kid is going to have more people than you can count looking out for it."

Erin gave a small smile at Hank's words. She was still anxious, but his reassurances had managed to quiet some of the blind panic she'd been feeling.

They were quiet for a moment as Hank looked at Erin with a strange expression on his face, as though he was making some big decision. He slowly pushed his chair out and got to his feet as Erin looked up at him questioningly.

"Eat your sandwich, I'll be back in a minute," he said. He exited the room and Erin heard him climbing the stairs to the second level.

Hank returned a few minutes later with an old shoe box in his hands. He placed it on the kitchen table next to Erin and she looked at it confusedly. The words 'For Erin' were written in neat, familiar cursive on a label stuck to the lid of the box. A shiver ran down Erin's spine. She hadn't seen that writing in a long time.

Hank retook his seat before offering an explanation.

"When Camille was diagnosed as terminal, all she could think about were the things she was going to miss, and it broke her heart. So, she decided to come up with ways that she could still be here."

Hank motioned for Erin to open the box. She carefully lifted the lid off to find it full of hand-knitted, pastel coloured baby clothes. Erin could see hats and booties and even a few baby-sized cardigans all in different colours, suitable for a girl or a boy. Erin lifted each item out one by one, tears stinging her eyes at the thought of Camille's gentle hands lovingly creating every single stitch. At the bottom of the box, underneath everything, Erin pulled out a yellow woollen baby blanket. She felt the tears fall from her eyes as she held the blanket up to her face. She could still smell the faint trace of Camille's favourite perfume lingering on the wool, and a thousand memories burst into her mind.

She sat staring at Camille's priceless gifts, lost for words.

"She knew you'd be an amazing mom one day Erin," Hank said softly, and Erin heaved herself to her feet and made her way around the table.

"Thank you," she whispered as she pulled Hank into a tight hug, trying to convey how much this meant to her.

"You're welcome kiddo," Hank whispered back, holding her just as tight.

* * *

Two more days passed with no signs that the baby was on its way. Hank had finally sent Jay home from work and told him not to come back until after the baby was born, tired of Jay calling Erin every half hour to check she was okay.

As Erin really didn't want to have to be induced, she and Jay were trying all the suggestions they could find on the internet about how to encourage labour naturally. However, as the days progressed with still no success, Erin was becoming increasingly bad tempered.

"Jay this is stupid, can't we just go home?" Erin moaned as she sat down on a park bench. She and Jay were out for a long walk, hoping the exercise might help, but Erin had had enough.

"C'mon Erin, once more around the park and then we'll go," Jay tried to convince her, but Erin shook her head.

"No Jay. My ankles hurt, my back aches, and now it's raining. Great," she said, raising her eyes to the darkening sky as big droplets of water began to fall around them.

"Fine, let's go," Jay gave in, knowing Erin's stubbornness would keep her sitting on that bench all night if he didn't agree.

"You better call us a cab," Erin said as she heaved herself to her feet with a great effort.

"It's not that far to the apartment," Jay began, but Erin cut him off.

"Jay, either you call us a cab, or you carry me. It's your choice."

Reluctantly, Jay pulled out his phone to call a cab.

* * *

The rain that had started earlier had now turned into a full-blown thunderstorm. Lightning flashed across the angry sky as thunder rumbled overhead, and Erin stared out of the apartment windows at the rain drenched, street lit city. There was something comforting about being safely inside when a storm was raging outside. She listened to the wind howling and the rain pelting the windows as a mouth-watering smell wafted towards her from the kitchen.

She crossed the apartment to inspect the meal Jay was preparing. He'd gone all out and had created an incredibly spicy Indian curry, hoping it might trigger Erin's labour.

Thirty minutes later and they were sitting down to tuck into their meal.

"Jay my mouth is on fire!" Erin cried as her eyes streamed.

"Here," Jay said as he set a glass of milk in front of her and Erin gulped it down.

"What the heck did you put in this thing?" Erin demanded as she eyed her plate of food suspiciously.

"Well we wanted it hot so I just doubled up on some of the spices," Jay explained as he got Erin a fresh glass of milk.

"There's no way I can eat any more," Erin said, pushing her plate away as she felt herself sweating.

"It'll be worth it if it works," Jay coaxed her, pushing the plate back and loading up her fork again. "Come on, it's for the baby…"

Erin looked at him and his piercing blue eyes, and reluctantly took the fork from him.

"You'd better hope this works," she warned him as she took another mouthful.

Slowly but surely, Erin made her way through her plateful of food and finally leaned back in her chair, draining yet another glass of milk.

"I need a shower," she said, getting to her feet, feeling uncomfortably hot and sweaty.

"How about I run you a bath?" Jay suggested, feeling he should probably make up for the spicy meal. Erin nodded and watched as Jay disappeared into the bathroom.

There was suddenly an almighty rumble of thunder and Erin jumped at the sound. The lights all went out and the apartment was plunged into darkness. Next second, the lights flickered back on and Jay came rushing out of the bathroom.

"Are you okay?" he asked worriedly.

"It was a power cut Jay, I'm fine," Erin told him, amused at his expression of alarm.

"I know, but you didn't fall or trip or anything?" he continued to look worried.

"Does it look like I fell?" Erin smirked at him. "Now go finish my bath," she ordered, and Jay disappeared again.

The power continued to flicker on and off throughout the evening, so Jay dug out all the candles they owned and they sat in the semi-darkness.

It was a little before 11pm when Erin finally said the words that Jay had been waiting so long to hear.

"Jay," she breathed into the candlelit apartment. "I think I'm having contractions."

* * *

 **I hope you enjoyed this chapter and don't mind where I left it! :)**

 **As always, please review :)**

 **Next chapter is called 'Contractions'**


	33. Chapter 33 - Contractions

**Hello! Thank you so much for all the reviews and follows for this story! It means so much and I'm so glad people are enjoying it :)**

 **Enjoy this next chapter...**

* * *

 **Chapter 33 - Contractions**

 _"I think I'm having contractions."_

Jay's blue eyes stared at her, full of shock, panic and excitement.

"Seriously?"

Erin grinned at him and nodded.

"Okay, we need to time them. When did they start? How long are they lasting?" he blustered as he looked at his watch.

"They started about an hour and a half ago," Erin informed him, and he looked up, affronted.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he questioned, confusion wrinkling his forehead.

"I wanted to be sure before I got you all excited," Erin grinned. "Besides, they're not too bad at the moment.

"I'm gonna call Dr Adams and let her know what's going on," Jay said and he reached for his phone before Erin could stop him.

"Jay, it's late," she called, but he was already holding the phone up to his ear.

Ten minutes later, Jay hung up the phone having been reassured by the doctor that they didn't have to do anything yet. They just had to let Erin's labour progress naturally, and call back when her contractions got stronger and closer together, no matter what time it was. She'd said it could take a while and suggested that they both try and get some sleep, if that was possible.

Jay's immediate panic had been put at rest and had to admit that Dr Adams' suggestion of sleep sounded like a very good idea. He knew they would need as much energy as possible over the next few days. So they retired to their bedroom and Jay was soon breathing deeply next to Erin. Sleep didn't come quite so easily to her, what with the uncomfortable contractions every twenty minutes or so and the thought that this was finally happening. All the months of preparation were over and the time was finally here.

At around midnight, Erin managed to fall into a light doze, but awoke again at 1am by another contraction. This was the strongest and longest one so far and she screwed up her face as she concentrated on breathing through it. Over the next thirty minutes, Erin listened to the storm that was still blowing outside, and panted her way through three more contractions before deciding she needed to wake Jay up.

"Jay," she moaned through gritted teeth as yet another contraction claimed her body. She reached out a hand and roughly shook Jay's shoulder as she rode the contraction out.

Jay rolled over to see the grimace on Erin's face and hear her controlled breathing.

"Erin?" he said concernedly, any trace of tiredness leaving his body immediately. "How far apart are they?" he asked as he saw Erin finally relax.

"Just under ten minutes," she breathed as the contraction finally subsided.

"Okay," Jay said as he picked up his phone to call Dr Adams again.

"She says to wait until they're about five minutes apart and then go to the hospital," Jay relayed to Erin, who had slipped off the bed to pace around the bedroom. She found the movement helped to keep her calm and eased some of the discomfort.

Jay hung up the phone and watched as Erin reached a hand out to grip tightly onto the doorframe. She bowed her head and screwed up her face as another contraction crashed over her, and she let out an involuntary gasp of pain. Jay scrambled off the bed to take Erin's other hand into his own and gently rub her back as she breathed through the pain. She squeezed his hand tightly until the contraction lessened.

"They're getting stronger," she said, and resumed her pacing. Jay glanced at his phone screen. Eight minutes since the last one. This was definitely happening.

Over the next hour, the contractions continued to come while the storm outside lessened somewhat. It was still pouring with rain but at least the thunder and lightning had stopped. Erin was doing laps of the apartment, starting in the bedroom and making her way around the living room and kitchen, weaving in and out of the furniture and gripping onto whatever was closest, usually Jay, whenever a contraction claimed her. Jay trailed behind her, ready to offer his support when she needed it, keeping one eye on his watch.

At just after 2:30am, they decided that the contractions were close enough together that they should head to the hospital. Erin was just making her way around the living room for what felt like the hundredth time that night as Jay quickly ran a wash cloth over his face and brushed his teeth. Suddenly, Erin felt a wet trickling between her legs.

"Jay!" she called out in alarm, and Jay came rushing, his toothbrush still in his mouth. "I think my water just broke!"

Jay's eyes widened and he momentarily disappeared before re-emerging toothbrush free.

"Come on! Let's go!" he said, already swinging Erin's hospital bag onto his back.

"I need to change my pants first!" Erin exclaimed, and Jay reluctantly helped her change into a dry pair of sweatpants before they headed out to the car.

Just before they stepped out of the apartment door, they both paused to look deeply at each other, the realisation that the next time they would be here, they would be a family of three suddenly dawning on both of them. They smiled and Jay bent his head to place a tender kiss on Erin's lips.

"Let's go have a baby Erin Lindsay," he grinned, and supported her out the door. They barely made it halfway down the corridor however before another contraction stopped them in their tracks.

Jay held a giant umbrella over Erin's head as the rain poured down around them on their way across the parking lot. As he helped Erin down into the passenger's seat of the car, she looked up at him.

"You better not get used to driving, Halstead," she warned, and Jay just smiled at her.

They made their way through the rain soaked city, windscreen wipers on the highest setting as water splashed around the car. Jay was thankful that it was the middle of the night as it meant that there was hardly anything else on the roads and their journey was free from any traffic. He felt waves of sympathy every time Erin grimaced her way through another contraction, and wanted nothing more than to reach over and help her through it, but the difficult driving conditions were taking all his attention.

They arrived at Chicago Med within twenty minutes and slowly and carefully made their way to the labour and delivery wing. In no time at all, Erin had been examined and hooked up to a variety of machines to monitor each contraction. The hospital room was medium sized with a big window across one wall, which Erin was grateful for. She liked to be able to see the sky, although right now, all she could see was the reflection of the lights inside. There was a couch under the window and a closed door led to the adjoining bathroom. Jay leaned back in the chair next to Erin's bed as the doctors finished telling them everything was progressing as it should be and they were left alone.

"I should call Hank," Jay said as he dug in his pocket for his phone.

"It's three-thirty in the morning Jay, he won't thank you for waking him up," Erin warned, but Jay just raised his eyebrows at her.

"He won't thank me for not telling him you're in labour," Jay pointed out. "I'm already in enough trouble for getting you pregnant, I'm not getting into any more," he grinned as he tapped the call button and held it up to his ear.

Jay listened to it ring for a while before Hank's tired voice met his ears.

"This better be good Halstead," he heard Hank say.

"We're at the hospital and Erin's in labour," Jay said simply.

"I'm on my way," Hank replied, and before Jay could say anything else, Hank had hung up.

Jay turned back to Erin and watched as she breathed through another contraction.

"He'll be here soon," he informed her and she rolled her eyes at him.

"There's no point him coming now!" she said as she relaxed. "You heard what the doctors said, I'm only at 3cm, it could be hours before anything happens."

"He wants to be here for you Erin, so no arguing," Jay said, placing a soft kiss on Erin's forehead.

Hank arrived just after 4am and emerged through their hospital room door just as Erin was panting through a particularly painful contraction. Jay was by her side, holding her hand, trying to sooth her as much as he could, and neither of them noticed him entering. He hovered by the door until the contraction passed, before clearing his throat to announce his arrival.

"Hank," Erin greeted him tiredly, looking up at him with exhausted eyes.

"Hey kiddo," Hank smiled at her as he approached the bed. "How're you holding up?"

"Not too bad," Erin grinned, knowing full well there was worse to come.

"They not offered you any pain relief?" Hank asked, inspecting the machines to see what Erin was hooked up to.

"They offered, but I don't want any," Erin said. "I want to do this as naturally as possible."

She had made the decision to forego any pain relief months ago, and was determined to stick with it, although her resolve was being tested with every increasingly painful contraction.

"You let anyone else know you're here?" Hank asked, and Erin shook her head.

"I'll call Antonio in a few hours," Jay said. "He'll let everyone know what's going on."

"Make sure you call Nadia as well," Erin reminded him.

"I know," Jay assured her.

Over the next few hours, Erin paced the corridors of the hospital with Jay by her side while Hank dozed on the couch under the window. The doctors checked on them a couple of times, and at 7am, Jay made the necessary calls to let everyone know that Erin was in labour.

Nadia was the first to arrive.

"Hey, I brought you some ice chips," she said to Erin before berating Jay for not calling sooner.

Kim and Adam arrived next, Adam eating a bacon and egg breakfast sandwich. Jay gave him a disbelieving look and Adam raised his hands in surrender.

"Hey I'm sorry man," he said. "But Kim wouldn't let me have breakfast before we came, and a man's gotta eat!"

"How about you guys go get some coffee?" Kim suggested. "And Adam can take his bacon breath far far away."

"I'm staying here," Jay said firmly, not shifting in his seat, but Erin gave him a tired smile.

"Go Jay, I'll be fine with Kim and Nadia. And no offence, but you look like you need the coffee."

Jay gave her a scrutinising look, trying to decide if she was serious or if she was just saying it to be nice. He finally got to his feet.

"I be back in five minutes," he promised and followed Hank and Adam out of the room, leaving Erin with the two women.

Nadia took Jay's vacated seat while Kim leaned on the end of the bed.

"So is it really as painful as they say?" Kim asked, but had to wait for an answer as Erin breathed her way through another contraction.

"Oh yeah," Erin grimaced as the contraction subsided.

"Excellent, that's just what I needed to hear," Kim said sarcastically.

"You asked," Erin grinned, and watched as Nadia eyed Kim suspiciously.

"Kim, is there something you're not telling us?" she asked with a small smile, and Kim shifted from foot to foot, not saying anything and not looking at either of them.

"Kim?" Erin said sternly.

"It's your day Erin, I don't want to steal your thunder," Kim said, but Erin just rolled her eyes at her.

"Kim, you'd better sit your ass down and tell us what's going on right now, or I swear -,"

"Fine, fine!" Kim gave in, settling herself on the end of Erin's bed. She took a deep breath before looking at them with a huge smile across her face. "Adam and I had our twelve-week scan yesterday. We're having twins!"

Nadia squealed with delight as Erin cried out, "Oh my God! Congratulations!"

"I didn't even know you were trying," Nadia said as she bestowed a hug upon Kim.

"We weren't really, but, y'know, we weren't taking any precautions either. And of course, twins has completely gone to Adam's head and he's now convinced he's got super strength swimmers!"

Erin's laughter was cut short by yet another contraction before Jay re-entered the hospital room. He'd left Hank and Adam in the waiting room with the rest of the unit who'd also arrived by now. Kim and Nadia wished Erin luck before joining the others in the waiting room, leaving Jay and Erin alone.

As lunchtime approached, the contractions got still more painful and closer together until Erin had very little time in between each one to recover. Sweat poured off her as she gritted her teeth and squeezed Jay's hand. Jay felt so much guilt as he watched what Erin was having to go through to bring their baby into the world.

"Just breathe Erin, just breathe," was all he could say to try and soothe her.

"Make it be over Jay!" Erin moaned into her pillow, and Jay wished there was something he could do to help her.

Erin cried out in pain again just as Dr Adams entered the room.

"Please! Please tell me it's time!" Erin called to her in desperation as the doctor settled down to examine her. Erin was fed up of being told that she still wasn't far enough dilated, and just wanted the pain to stop now. "I need to push!" she cried as a wave of pain crashed over her. "I swear Jay Halstead; I am never having sex with you again if this is what happens!"

Dr Adams smiled at them. "Good news, you're 10cm. It's time."

"What?" Erin breathed in disbelief. This had been one of the longest twelve hours she'd ever experienced and couldn't quite believe that it was almost over. They were finally going to meet their baby.

Erin met Jay's eyes. "It's time," she whispered, and felt panic, fear and excitement swirling around inside her as doctors and nurses poured into the room, getting everything ready for the arrival of their baby.

* * *

 **I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter and is excited for the arrival of baby Linstead!**

 **As always, please review :)**

 **The next chapter is called 'Push'**


	34. Chapter 34 - Push

**Hello! I know, it's been so long! I'm so so sorry for the complete lack of updates, I had a bunch of deadlines and had to prioritise, so unfortunately I put this story on pause for a little while. But it's the Christmas break now, so hopefully I'll be back with regular uploads, although I am struggling with writer's block at the moment, so any suggestions for what you want to see would be greatly appreciated.**

 **Anyway, here is the long awaited next chapter! Baby Linstead is finally here - I hope it doesn't disappoint...**

* * *

 **Chapter 34 – Push**

"On your next contraction I need you to push for me Erin," Dr Adams called from the bottom of the hospital bed.

Erin threw her head back, panting and sweat dripping off her. She was exhausted and felt like she'd been pushing for hours, although in reality, it had only been twenty minutes or so.

As she felt the next contraction building up, Erin brought her chin to her chest and channelled all her concentration into pushing as hard as she could.

"You need to push harder Erin!" the doctor called and Erin felt despair wash over her.

"I can't!" she cried hopelessly, throwing her head back once again. Tears leaked out of her eyes as she looked up at Jay. "I can't do it Jay, I can't!" she sobbed in her raspy voice as her tears mingled with her sweat.

"Yes you can Erin, you can do this! You're doing so well, just a little while longer and we'll have our baby," Jay comforted her, heart breaking at the desperation in Erin's voice.

"Push Erin!" Dr Adams cried as another contraction hit.

So Erin pushed. She moaned, screamed and cried out, but did everything the doctor told her to do because Jay was right. It would be over soon and then their baby would be here.

After what felt like another eternity of pushing, the doctor finally called, "The head is out!"

Jay moved to the end of the bed to take his first look at their baby. "Erin, this is amazing!" he said as tears of emotion stung in his eyes. He moved back up to Erin's head, ready to help her again.

"Okay Erin, one more push for me," Dr Adams encouraged, and Erin bore down yet again, moaning and grimacing through the excruciating pain.

Cries filled the hospital room as Erin and Jay finally welcomed their baby into the world.

"It's a girl!" Jay cried as the doctor held the baby up.

Erin lifted her head to see her daughter for the first time. Her tiny pink arms and legs were waving in the air and her face was scrunched up as she cried. She was covered in god knows what, but to Erin, she was the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen. Unconditional love burst within her as tears of exhaustion and happiness streamed down her face.

"We have a daughter," she whispered to Jay through her tears and watched the man she loved beaming down at her. "She's here, she's finally here."

"Only eight days late," Jay grinned. "I'm so proud of you," he said in the gentlest of tones as he placed a soft kiss against Erin's sweaty temple.

They both watched as the baby was whisked away to be cleaned up and measured.

"Seven pounds exactly, and she's got a great set of lungs!" someone called out as the baby continued to wail, and Erin watched as a nurse talked Jay through putting on their daughter's first diaper. The baby girl was then wrapped up tightly in the yellow baby blanket that Camille had knitted years ago, and was passed back to Erin, who reached out to finally take her daughter into her arms.

The baby's screwed up face suddenly relaxed and her crying subsided as she stared up at her mother. Erin's breath caught as her daughter gazed at her with big blue eyes that she'd obviously inherited from Jay. She lowered her face so the baby's soft, fuzzy, dark brown hair tickled her cheek, and pressed her lips gently onto the baby's warm forehead.

"Hey baby girl," she whispered in a choked voice. The baby continued to stare up at her. "I love you so much my sweet angel."

Jay was drinking in his daughter's face. "She looks like you," he smiled to Erin.

"She's got your eyes," Erin pointed out, and Jay nodded his agreement.

"Yeah, but those dimples are all you," he grinned as the baby yawned adorably and the indentations in her cheeks became more pronounced.

* * *

The room emptied around the new family, and after a while, Erin instructed Jay to put everyone in the waiting room out of their misery and let them know the good news.

Jay got up from the chair next to Erin's bed and carefully handed her the baby, which he'd been cradling in his arms. She took their sleeping daughter from him and Jay placed a soft kiss on each of their heads before reluctantly leaving the room.

He wandered down the corridor feeling as though he was on cloud nine, and finally pushed the waiting room door open.

The faces of all their friends and family turned to stare at him expectantly, but he only had eyes for one of them. He walked straight up to Hank, barely containing the smile that was spreading across his face.

He stood in front of the older man. A man he wouldn't have chosen to be his family, but as Hank's anxious eyes met his, Jay knew that this man would already do anything for the baby that had just been born. Jay took a deep breath before addressing Hank.

"Do you want to come meet your granddaughter?"

Hank's eyes lit up, and cheers of congratulations from everyone else rang around the room. Jay felt people clapping him on the back and saw people hugging each other out of the corner of his eyes, but he kept his gaze fixed on Hank.

Hank didn't speak for a second, and Jay had a suspicion that he might be trying to fight back tears. Finally, Hank spoke in a choked voice.

"Yes. Yes I do," he nodded, and Jay turned to lead him back down the corridor towards Erin's room. Before they reached the door, Nadia called out to them.

"Wait, Jay, how's Erin?"

Jay beamed at her.

"She's amazing," he said simply, and he truly meant it. He'd always known Erin was strong and tough, but he had such a new-found respect for her since watching what she'd gone through to bring their daughter into the world. She was amazing, and incredible, and the love of his life, and he was so proud of her.

He and Hank made their way back to Erin's room, neither speaking, both engrossed in their own thoughts.

They eased the door gently open to see Erin cradling the baby, who was now awake and staring serenely up at her mother. Erin looked up as the two men approached her bed.

Hank stared at the sight of Erin holding her daughter and thought his heart might burst with pride. Erin had come such a long way from when he'd first met her, and he was so happy with the way her life had turned out.

"Congratulations kid, she's beautiful," he said gruffly as he beamed at Erin. "You got a name for her yet?"

Erin looked quickly at Jay, who nodded, before turning back to face Hank.

"Hank, this is Camille Louise Halstead," Erin beamed with tears in her eyes at the expression on Hank's face. "Cami, this is your Grandpa Hank," she said and held the baby up so Hank could take her into his arms.

He gently held the baby and she stared up at him with her big blue eyes. "Hi Cami," he said in his softest tone. "I'm your Grandpa. Welcome to the family."

* * *

Over the next hour or so, the various members of the intelligence unit trickled into Erin's hospital room to congratulate the new parents. Cami was passed around from person to person and everyone fell instantly in love with her.

"What's up lil' C," Kevin murmured as he took Cami from Alvin. Part of the baby blanket came loose as he held her and one of Cami's arms sprung into the air, her hand clenched tightly. "Oh yeah, tiny fist bump with your Uncle Kev," Kevin chuckled, and brought one of his much larger fists up to meet Cami's. "This kid's already ten times cooler than you Ruzek," he laughed.

Soon, only Nadia and Mouse were left, and Nadia sat cradling the baby on the couch under the window.

"She's so beautiful," Nadia cooed and smiled down at Cami. "She's a heartbreaker. Those dimples are gonna have all the boys melting," she warned Jay.

"Well we're not gonna have any trouble with boys because she's not dating until she's at least 35, right Erin," Jay said and he looked over to where Erin was sitting up in bed.

"Whatever you say Jay," Erin replied sarcastically as she watched her best friend with her daughter with tired eyes. "Hey, guys, there's something we want to ask you," Erin began, and looked over to Jay who continued.

"Yeah, we were talking, and… we'd like you both to be godparents."

Nadia and Mouse stared at them. Nadia's eyes sparkled with tears as Mouse asked, "Seriously man?"

"Yeah," Jay nodded. "We couldn't think of two better people. You've both been through tough times, but you got through it, and that's the kind of people we want looking out for our daughter."

Mouse's face broke into a huge grin as he pulled Jay in for a man hug, and Erin met Nadia's tear filled eyes. The younger woman hadn't said a word, but Erin knew by the look in her eyes, how much this meant to her. They smiled at each other before Nadia lowered her eyes back down to the sleeping baby in her arms.

Nadia and Mouse stayed for a little while longer before leaving Erin and Jay alone with Cami. Jay took the still sleeping baby from Mouse as they headed out the door, and turned to look back at Erin, about to suggest that she should try to get some rest.

She was already fast asleep, her head turned to one side as she sat propped up by her pillows. Jay smiled, and delicately placed Cami in the hospital cot next to Erin's bed, making sure she was still securely swaddled in her blanket, before settling himself on the couch to also get some shuteye.

* * *

A piercing cry filled the hospital room and Erin's eyes flew open. Her whole body ached as she looked over to see Cami wailing in the hospital cot. Jay stirred on the couch, rubbing sleep out of his eyes as he moved towards the crying baby.

"She probably needs feeding," Erin said tiredly, and held out her arms for Jay to pass Cami to her. She moved her gown aside and manoeuvred the baby into the position the nurses had shown her earlier. Erin still hadn't got used to the strange feeling of breastfeeding, but was happy that Cami seemed to take to it quite well. As the baby latched on, Erin cradled her and watched her suckle, amazed that her body could produce everything she needed to sustain this tiny life.

Jay watched as Erin nursed Cami, and although he could have easily fallen back to sleep, he didn't dare close his eyes. He wanted to savour every precious moment with his new-born daughter.

As Cami fed, Erin felt pure love overwhelm her yet again. It consumed every single inch of her being and was so powerful that she didn't think she would ever feel anything else. Had Bunny once felt like this? Had she once stared down at Erin and felt overpowering love? If so, what had happened? Had all the men and drugs numbed it overtime? Or had she never felt like this about her daughter? Erin couldn't imagine someone not feeling this way as they watched their child. But somehow, the love that Bunny once felt, if it ever existed, had been lost, and Erin vowed never to let that happen with her own daughter. Erin knew at that point, she would do anything for the tiny human in her arms. She would trade her own life for Cami's without question and do everything in her power to protect her.

* * *

 **It's a girl! I hope people are happy with this chapter - I seriously considered them having a boy because I know that in the majority of other Linstead fanfics, it's always a girl! But I've just always imagined them having a daughter I really wanted to draw of the symmetry (or lack thereof) between Bunny and Erin, and Erin and Cami.**

 **As I said above, I'm struggling with a small amount of writer's block at the moment, so please let me know what you'd like to happen next or some cute scenes you'd like to read. I could really use the inspiration!**

 **Finally, thank you so much for all the kind reviews (over 300 now!) and messages over the last few weeks, it really means so much :) 3**

 **The next chapter is called 'Cami-Lou'**


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